Chapter 14
Alexa, Play Frankie Valli
Connor
So do you want the bad news or the worse news?
Betty: What do you mean? Are you okay? What’s going on?
Bad news is, I’m suspended for the next four meets and the Vimer Invitational. The worse news is, Karsen is getting off with a warning.
Betty: A warning? What the hell does Karsen have to do with this? Why are you SUSPENDED? What happened? :'(
Want to come over? Probably better to talk about this one in person.
Betty: On my way right now!
I’m pacing, flexing and unflexing my hands. I don’t know how Maisie’s going to react to me punching the shit out of her boyfriend—or, I suppose…ex-boyfriend? I can’t get my hopes up on that one yet.
God, what was I thinking? I don’t care about the punishment, although it sucks all the same.
I need this not to ruin our friendship. That would kill me.
Even though I want more, these past few months with her have been a true gift.
I would rather have anything Maisie is willing to give me than nothing at all.
It seems like both a few seconds and a year before I hear the apartment’s front door creak open, then slam shut. My palms are sweating.
Next thing I know, Maisie is bursting through my bedroom door. Her hair is in a short ponytail, but it’s frayed in a way it usually wouldn’t be. She’s also wearing pajama pants and socks with sandals.
“Maize, are you okay?” I reach for her, but drop my hand before it makes contact.
Her cheeks are flushed. “Am I okay? What do you mean? Are you okay? Why are you suspended?” Her voice pitches higher with each question.
“Karsen. That fucking son of a bitch. He said he broke up with you.” I run a hand through my hair.
I need to know she’s all right. “We can talk about me in a second. Please. Are you okay?” My eyes scan her again, and this time, I see more detail.
Her eyes are puffy and her lips are chapped.
“I just…I need to know if you’re okay before we talk about anything else. ”
Her eyes soften as she steps all the way into my room. “You’re sweet. I’m not sure I’m okay necessarily, but I’m the one who broke up with him, so in that sense I am.”
She dumped him. Why did she dump him? Did it have anything to do with me? That’s ridiculous. Right?
“Now, what happened?” she asks.
I look away, letting out a breath to calm myself at the memory.
“Connor, tell me what happened. Please.” She shifts her weight anxiously.
“Okay, but before I do, I just want to tell you that your friendship means everything to me, and I feel very protective of you. He was saying…he was…this is all coming out wrong. I have Science 101 with Professor Garth.”
“Yeah, I know. We’ve shared our schedules, Connor—what does that have to do with anything?” She crosses her arms, and it looks like an emotional shield. I’m so worried my reaction to that asshole will be the end for us.
“Well, Karsen and I both have that class.”
“Uh-huh.” She looks at me like I’m losing it. Maybe I am.
“Well, after class, he…he was running his mouth, and I…I might have…hit him?”
“You what?!”
“You didn’t hear him. I just couldn’t stand it. You deserve so much better.” I hang my head shamefully. I’m not ashamed of how I reacted because it was pure instinct to defend her, but I’m ashamed she has to know what happened at all.
“Did he fight back?” Her question throws me off guard.
“Uh, yeah, he did, but it’s safe to say I won.” I turn a sheepish grin her way, but she’s not smiling. She looks…worried. Her eyes are glassy, her brows scrunched, and her posture bent, almost defeated.
“What did he say?” she asks hesitantly.
“I really don’t want to repeat it.”
“I need to know.”
I sigh, once again rubbing a hand through my hair.
I don’t want to hurt her. She shouldn’t have to even be dealing with this.
“He basically said you don’t put out, so he broke up with you to be with someone who would.
‘Cleat chasers’ were his exact words. And something about weed, but honestly, I was so upset I don’t know if I heard it all. ”
Her hands ball into fists, and the sight of her anger, her hurt, nearly destroys me. “What an asshole. Connor, I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have hit him. He’s…he’s not worth it.” She stares at the floor like it personally offended her, tears lining her lower lids. The sight breaks my heart.
“Maize—” I take a careful step toward her until her sheened eyes lock with mine “—first of all, stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Second, you are worth it. No matter what trash he spews. It’s you. I couldn’t…I feel…I don’t know if I can put it into words.”
Her hands fall limply to her sides as she takes a deep breath, but then she moves a step closer.
She tentatively reaches both hands up until they are around my shoulders, the heat of her hands through my shirt like a brand.
I gather her waist in my arms to pull her in for a hug.
Her body goes loose against mine, and she sighs.
I like having her here, in my arms, where I can protect her. I wish we could stay like this forever.
“So, you’re suspended? And they didn’t give Karsen a punishment?”
I wince. “Yeah, they didn’t give him one.”
She tenses in my arms but remains. “Well, that’s just…great,” she says sarcastically, voice muffled in my shirt as she drops her head to my chest.
I squeeze her a little tighter.
“You can’t go hitting people who make you mad. That’s not healthy—but it’s done. And we’re good. I’m sorry you’re suspended. For four whole meets and the Vimer Invitational?”
My hands glide up and down her muscled back in a soothing motion, like they have a mind of their own. “As long as there isn’t another incident, yeah.”
Her arms drop from my neck, and she puts a little space between us. My hands linger at her waist because I can’t seem to let go yet.
“That’s a huge chunk of the season. You might not even have enough times to qualify for Nationals. You…I’m…gosh, I’m so sorry, Connor.”
I shake my head side to side and crouch down so our eyes are level. “Look at me. Stop apologizing. I’m okay. I don’t want you to worry about me.”
Swimming is the last thing on my mind right now.
Her head is in her hands now, like she’s the one who should be ashamed. And fuck that.
I slide my arm firmly around her back with my right hand and gently extricate her left hand from her face to drape it over my right shoulder.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes flare as she startles.
I pull her ever so slightly closer and whisper in her ear, “Dancing with you.”
At that, she relents.
“Alexa, play ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ by Frankie Valli.”
I interlock our other hands, stretching them out to smoothly guide us around the room in a mock ballroom dance.
“This is an old-people song!” A laugh bubbles out of her.
“Then it’s perfect for us,” I reply, gently dipping her.
The beat picks up, and the rest of the lyrics play out.
By the end, we’re basically performing a dramatic interpretive dance.
I pull her in and out and twirl her. She kicks her leg high in the sky and falls into me gracefully.
Divers. We end with her nearly tripping over a pile of dirty laundry on my floor and me lunging to catch her, inadvertently redirecting the fall so we both end up tumbling onto my bed in a lazy, joyous haze.
“How do you do that?” she asks.
“Do what?” I say while scooching so my back is pressed against the headboard.
“Turn even the shittiest situation around. You’re like if all the good in life was wrapped into one person. We should tap you like a tree and sell your happy sap. We’d make a fortune.” She laughs while crossing her legs, now facing me.
“First of all, ew. Weird analogy, Betty. Second, I’m not always happy or something.
I have a lot of stuff I deal with, as you now know.
” I gesture vaguely with my hand, as though that will encompass all the crap I’ve let her in on recently.
“But you bring out the best in me. I like the man I am when I’m with you, and making you happy is one of my favorite things.
So, I do what I can to make that happen, but I don’t know if it works on other people or anything.
You’re special that way, I guess.” I punctuate my statement by poking her in the leg.
She rolls her eyes like she isn’t the most important person to me.
“Uh-uh.” I wag my finger. “No rolling your eyes. Accept it. It’s true.” I boop her nose, and she scrunches it. We laugh.
“It does.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Work on other people, I mean. I’ve seen you work your old-guy charm on your friends and, honestly, even strangers.
I think you want people to be happy, so you move through life with that in mind.
It’s one of my favorite things about you.
” She shifts her face away, feigning interest in my white walls, but not before I catch a hint of a blush on her beautiful, tanned cheeks.
My phone buzzes on my nightstand, breaking us out of the moment. I look over and notice the time. 4 PM. Crap. “You need to head to practice.”
Her eyes flare, but her face falls. “It won’t be the same without you,” she practically whispers, but she slowly moves to get up.
“Do you want me to come watch from the bleachers?”
“That wouldn’t be hard for you?”
“Nah, it’ll be nice actually. I never get to watch you dive as much as I want because I’m always face-down in the pool for one of Coach’s crazy drills. I usually only catch glimpses here and there between sets.”
Her eyes light up, and I love it. “Okay! If you’re sure, I mean. That would be great.”
And wouldn’t you know, she blushes again.