Chapter 21 How Do You Two Know Each Other?
How Do You Two Know Each Other?
Maisie
Ifailed. I failed. I failed. The words loop through my brain on repeat, like being stuck on a roller coaster.
I keep going around and around and around, my head dizzy and stomach upset, praying the ride will end so I can get off and throw up.
The water from my shower is too hot on my tender back, so I turn it to cold and wash my hair and body as quickly as possible. Angie never leaves my side.
My thoughts calm a bit as I dress, my cozy sweats providing a layer of internal comfort.
Lola rushed in a few minutes ago, carrying my shammy I left on the pool deck and letting out a sigh of relief when she saw I was okay and Angie was with me.
She offered a brief “Shake it off, nothing to be embarrassed about,” then made her way back out to the pool deck for the award ceremony.
I gather my things in my pool bag and nod to Angie that I’m okay to leave. We exit into the hallway and are met with two sets of eyes I was hoping to avoid. Mom’s brows crease in worry, but Dad’s are bowed down in anger.
“What were you thinking trying to compete a dive that was so far from ready?” my dad demands.
“I’ve been working on it and hitting it at least fifty percent of the time. I’ve never failed it like that. I must have been too tired from the 3m competition,” I say, averting my gaze, unready to meet the look of my father’s ire. His words are doing enough.
“Honey, ease up on her. Please,” my mother cajoles while moving her manicured hand to unwind my father’s crossed forearms. “Also, hi, Angie. Nice to see you again,” she addresses my roommate, who hasn’t let go of my arm. Angie squeezes it tighter, letting me know she’s here for support.
“I’m not going to ease up on her, Madeline. She could have been seriously injured. Her career could have been over before it even began.”
My career. My injury would affect my career. That’s apparently the most pressing thing to my father right now.
My mother retreats a step, and her green eyes, the same as mine, fall.
“I’ll talk to Coach about removing it,” I say placatingly, hoping that if I agree with him, this conversation can end faster.
“See that you do.”
Awkward silence envelops us, but then a cough sounds from behind, causing me to jump. I turn to find Connor approaching, his hands tucked into his pockets, and my racing heart eases. Suddenly, I don’t feel as small as I did a moment ago.
“Hi there, Mr. and Mrs. Thatcher.” He moves forward to join our little group. “I don’t mean to interrupt; I just wanted to check on Maisie,” he says politely, eyes doing a quick scan of me even though he saw me ten minutes ago.
Angie smiles beside me, happy not to be the only one witnessing this shit show, I’m sure.
“Mom, Dad, this is Connor.”
“Hi, Connor.” Mom stretches out a hand in greeting. “I saw you rush to my daughter from the stands. How do you two know each other?” Her words are kind, but there is a hint of disapproval buried in her tone.
He meets her hand with his own. “I’m on the team too. I wasn’t competing in today’s meet, though.” Once he drops the handshake, he adjusts his body so he is standing on my left side, our elbows brushing.
“And why not?” my dad interrupts.
Connor stumbles a bit before replying, “I got into some trouble, and unfortunately need to sit out for a few meets, but the situation has been rectified and I’m taking the consequences in stride.” His spine straightens as he speaks.
“All right then, good man,” Dad says and nods curtly.
A spike lodges in my chest. My dad’s quick acceptance of Connor’s suspension is like salt in the wound of how he’s reacting to my failed dive. But I guess he only expects perfection from me.
“Honey, where is Karsen?” Mom asks me, eyes darting to where Connor and I are connected, clearly unable to refrain from asking any longer.
“He and I are…no longer together, Mom.”
She gasps, and her hand comes to cover her lipstick-glossed mouth.
Angie steps forward like she’s about to say something, but steps back as my mom demands, “Why not?!”
Dad rolls his eyes.
“I’d rather not get into the details right now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t sure how, to be honest.”
“I am sure you are just going through a rough patch. College is a big change. He will forgive you, and all will be well. You will see.” She nods along as if she’s trying to convince herself, not me.
Why would she assume he needed to forgive me? Of course, it couldn’t possibly be him that did something wrong.
“No, Mom. We’re done. I don’t want to be with him anymore.”
“That is silly,” she says, waving a dismissive hand. “You two are perfect for each other. You have been together for years. You do not just throw that away.”
Connor tenses beside me but doesn’t move from his silently supportive spot. I take a deep breath, searching for patience before replying, “Mom, please. I want you to hear me. We aren’t right for each other. I don’t want to be with him. It’s over.”
“We will discuss this later,” she huffs and turns to walk down the hall toward the front of the building, presumably to leave.
Dad eyes the three of us one last time, grunts, and takes off after Mom. Before he gets too far, he partially turns to announce, “I’ll be checking in with your coach, Maisie. And when I do, I better hear of a change to your competition list.”
And then they’re both out of sight.
I blow out a lungful of air and feel a heavy weight pooling at the corners of my eyes, heat rushing up my neck.
“Let’s get you home,” Angie says quickly.
“Yeah, all right,” I say on autopilot.
Connor eyes me with concern. “I’ll grab dinner and bring it to your room.”
“Sure, okay,” I say, unable to focus, my vision narrowing.
Angie loops her arm around my waist and places my arm over her shoulder. “We’ve got you,” she whispers, like she’s worried my parents could possibly still hear her.
Angie and I start to move as one conjoined person as Connor heads in the opposite direction for the food, and I’m so grateful to have them both.
Even through the thankfulness, though, a monster that is my anxiety is rolling inside me—and I’m worried that now that it’s woken up, it might be a while until it goes back to sleep.