Chapter 51 December in North Carolina
December in North Carolina
Connor
I’m thankful that the men’s team had practice earlier today, or else I would have been swimming when Maisie needed me.
She was crying through the phone, and it absolutely tore my heart to shreds.
I hate that she feels like she isn’t good enough.
I let her vent, guided her in some breathing exercises, and told her to go stand under a cold shower to help reset her nervous system.
She called back when she was done, and I told her to come over.
No one is here, and I don’t want her to be alone.
A knock sounds at the door, and I’m buzzing with anxious energy.
I’m not sure why. We’ve been good since the car ride home.
Since actually talking about everything.
But we haven’t done any more than hold hands.
I’m letting her take the lead for whatever she is comfortable with, but I don’t know if I can refrain from kissing her much longer.
Every time we’re in the same room, it feels like I’m being drawn to her by a magnetic force.
I open the door and find a still-wet-haired Maisie sniffling.
Her normally tan skin looks pale, and she shivers as if she’s freezing even though it is a comfortable fifty-five degrees out.
I can’t say I’m mad about December in North Carolina.
I instinctively pull her inside and into my arms. I breathe in the scent of lavender and chlorine and something that is distinctly Maisie.
She nuzzles further into my chest, and my arms tighten, letting her know I’m here. We stand like that for a moment, my shirt now wet from her hair, until she pulls back and looks up at me. I’m captivated by her emerald eyes, so sad and devastatingly gorgeous.
“Take me to your room,” she says, and then after a beat adds, “please.”
“Sure,” I say, but my heart ratchets up to double its usual rhythm. I take her hand and lead her up the stairs. She’s quiet as we enter my room and I close the door. “No one’s home,” I assure her. “What did you want in my room?”
“You,” she breathes and takes a tentative step closer to where I’m leaning against the door.
“Can you be more specific, Betty? I need some guidance here.”
Her eyes spark with something I can’t quite identify, but then they avert from my gaze. “I want to forget about this shitty day. About all the ways I’m failing. I want to feel like I did that night in the hotel. Away from everything and everyone and consumed with only you.”
When I don’t immediately respond, she shifts on her feet. “Is that still okay? You meant your promise in the car?”
“Yes,” I whoosh out. “I meant it, Maize. I’ll never lie to you.”
And I did mean it. My body aches for her, and I won’t deny her what she wants, what she needs right now.
There is a pinch in my chest, though, that she only wants this—wants me—so she can forget, but I won’t go back on my promise.
And more than that, I’d give her anything.
Any part of me. At any time. Some might call that weak, but I call it love.
And if I can’t tell her, I’m going to have to keep showing her until she knows it without a doubt.
“Come here,” I say, and she takes a few more steps toward me. She had wandered closer to my bed, but I don’t want to rush this. I want to savor it; savor her.
I take her hand and pull her into me, so her hips are crushed against mine.
So she can feel the evidence of my desire for her.
I don’t want her to ever question it with me.
She sucks in a surprised breath but waits for further instruction.
I glide my hand through her hair and angle her face close to mine.
Her hands draw up, resting on my chest. Another half an inch and our lips would be touching.
“I’m going to make you feel good, Maize. Going to make you forget this shitty day. But I need you to know one thing. You’re it for me. And I know you’re not ready for anything serious. But know I’ll wait for you, and this is always going to be more than just sex for me.”
Her eyes go wide, and I’m scared she might bolt at the admission. But then she closes them, blocking me from the mesmerizing green I see even in my dreams. I hold my breath, waiting to see what she’ll do. When she opens them, they’re pierced with determination.
She nods. “I want you.”
And she crushes her lips to mine.
At first, our kiss is hurried, but I slow down our pace, interlocking our lips languidly and pulling back in a kind of dance.
I bring my other hand up, so that I am fully framing her face with my hands, and I guide her head to every angle I want it, eventually dipping in my tongue to taste her.
When I do, a shockwave reverberates down my spine, and it takes everything in me to keep things slow.
Her fingers trail down my chest; it would tickle if my body weren’t on fire for her. Her hand continues its path down, and she gingerly cups me through my shorts. I groan and pull away, shifting to lift her so her legs are wrapped around my hips to carry her to my bed.
“Not yet,” I tell her as I carefully place her at the edge of the bed.
She smiles up at me, and her eyes are so trusting, I almost don’t feel worthy.
I swallow, regaining my composure. “May I?” I hold the base of her shirt and wait for her approval.
“Please,” she says, and her willingness and blatant desire make me the luckiest guy on this whole planet.
I slowly remove her shirt. When I toss it away, I notice a piece of wet hair stuck to her face. I gently remove it, tucking it behind her dainty ear.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask and search her face for any indication she’s changed her mind.
“Connor, please,” she whispers.
The please snaps something in me, and I move to press lingering kisses along her neck, up to her ear, where I whisper, “Take off your pants, Maisie.”
She shuffles to remove them and looks up at me in only her sports bra and panties. My tongue goes dry. My cock is at full attention now, and I watch as her eyes track down my body and land at my arousal. She reaches out again, but I grab her wrist.
“You first.” There’s an edge to my voice that I didn’t wholly mean to be there, but her eyes snap back to mine and a wicked smile curls her lips. She likes this. A lot.
I sink to my knees in front of her and pull her in for a bruising kiss. Her hands go to my hair this time, twisting and pulling every which way. My heated skin flames in response. I cup her through her bra, then glide my fingertip along its edge, teasing her.
She huffs in annoyance and demands, “Touch me.”
My heart pounds with excitement.
I tug the strap to the side and lick her collarbone.
Her legs come around my torso, and in one swift motion, I stand, taking her with me.
I claim her mouth, plunging my tongue against hers, then retreat to bite at her lip.
All the while, my hand skates up her side, finding the edge of her sports bra.
Lifting it over her head as I continue peppering her with kisses.
Once it’s off, she wiggles, trying to reach down between us to remove my shirt.
I tsk and toss her on the bed, and as I crawl over her, I scrunch the fabric on my back and yank forward.
Her eyes track the movement with hunger, which only adds fuel to my flames.
As soon as my chest is exposed, she pulls me down to her.
Our naked skin connects, igniting firecrackers along my body, anchoring in the place that craves her touch the most. I prop myself up on my elbows and kiss her until she’s writhing beneath me, asking for more with her body.
I’m more than happy to oblige. I reach between us and draw one line along the inside of her underwear before sitting back on my ankles to shimmy them fully down her legs and toss them to the floor with her other clothes.
I take my time looking at her, taking in every inch. She’s breathtaking.
After a bit, she squirms, and I know I can’t let her wait any longer.
I dip a finger through her slit to find her dripping for me.
Her head falls back on a sigh, and my chest pulses in pride at being the source of her pleasure.
I slowly circle her clit the way I learned she likes from our night in the hotel—but this time, I dip my head, replacing my fingers with my tongue.
Her back arches, bowing off the bed, but it’s quickly followed by a tightened “Connor!”
I stop only long enough to look up and see her eyes wide with panic. I retreat onto my heels, so she has room to move, and meet her eyes with concern.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she says, but she closes her legs, blocking my view. “You just don’t have to do that.”
“What do you mean?” I question, confused by her reaction.
“No one…I mean, um, well, Karsen…he told me no guy actually enjoys doing that. He said it was too much work.”
She covers her chest too, and I hate how she’s retreated. My nostrils flare. I hate him for being the cause of it even more. My chest is tight, so I take a few intentional breaths, wanting to ensure I’m calm and Maize feels safe. I don’t want her to think any of my frustration is with her.
I tenderly move my hands up and down her legs, and she shivers.
“Maisie, I’m not him. And he was feeding you bullshit about what guys want.
I want to go down on you. It’s not too much work.
It’s an honor and a privilege, and I really fucking want to, but I won’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.
” I squeeze her calf to punctuate the statement.
“You do?” She shifts on my sheets.
I watch her as I gently reach for one of her arms, pulling it away from her body to kiss the inside of her wrist.
“I really do,” I say and move my lips along her arm, pressing another kiss to the inside of her elbow, all the while watching her for consent.
Her shoulders drop, and she slowly releases the other arm that was blocking her breast, her body relaxing and leaning into my touch.
I shift to swirl my tongue around her nipple, which draws a moan from her.
My cock stirs in response, but this is about her right now.
Showing her she’s worth this and so much more.
I flick my tongue until her nipple is fully peaked, then draw her into my mouth one last time before working my way down her body, kissing and licking as I go until I’m back right where I want to be.
I grab each thigh, spreading her legs apart, and use my new access to lick a long strip up her center.
She lets out a low, buzzed hmmm, and I smile. That’s my girl.
I start in earnest then, and as I feel her climbing higher, I taste the evidence of her arousal.
I take her hand and place it on my head, looking up her body into her eyes.
She seems to catch my meaning because she grabs on tightly to my hair and angles open even more, working her hips against my mouth.
I suck in a sharp breath through my nose at the sensation of it and can’t help but nudge my hips into the mattress, desperate for any friction.
She watches as I work her tirelessly, showing her that her pleasure is my number one priority and that it is never a burden.
Her eyelids begin to flutter, and I growl into her sensitive skin.
The wordless command communicates because her eyes lock with mine again.
I want to see her when she falls apart. She’s panting now, making all kinds of sounds I tuck away for later as I wring every drop of pleasure from her body.
She’s close, I can feel it. I suck her entire clit into my mouth and slowly insert a finger inside her, curling to the sensitive spot I know is there.
Her eyes go wide but quickly close, lost in the sensation of it all, and a scream of pleasure rips from her throat.
“Fuuuuuuuck,” she shouts, but I don’t stop until she’s so sensitive, she shoves my head away.
I chuckle, removing my finger from inside her too, and while she’s catching her breath, I lick my finger clean and plop down behind her on the bed, pulling her into me.
She wiggles until our bodies are perfectly aligned, her back to my front. She doesn’t seem to mind the feel of my still-hard cock against her ass because she takes a deep breath, saying on the exhale, “That was…amazing.”
“You’re amazing,” I say, kissing her head.
“I want you to feel like that too,” she says.
“Getting you off is better.” And I mean it. That was incredible.
I can feel her frown even though I can’t see it, so I add, “I’m serious. Watching you release is like… Well, there’s nothing better.” I wrap my arms even tighter around her naked body, slick with sweat.
A quiet beat passes, and I remember once again why we started this today.
“Do you feel thoroughly consumed?” I ask in a low tone, playfully tickling her side.
She peeks over her shoulder, smiling shyly. “Of course I do,” she says with a yawn, “but next time, I want to participate too.” She drops her head and snuggles impossibly closer to me.
I can’t stop the smile that lights my face at hearing she’s satisfied. “If you want,” I say, “I won’t stop you.”
Although it will be hard to have her touch me when I can’t have her whole heart. I shake the thought away.
After a few minutes, her breathing deepens, and I feel weightless, like we are both about to drift into sleep, when my phone buzzes on the table. I lift my head enough to see over Maisie to the nightstand. I wish I hadn’t. “Dad” flashes across the screen. Why would he be calling?
I lay my head back down, closing my eyes so tight it hurts, but then I remember the woman in my arms. I let the press of her deep breathing into my chest unwind the tension coursing through my veins.
I lift myself to press a kiss to her shoulder, needing the extra assurance that she’s here; that she’s mine in this moment.
Then I lie back and let sleep overtake me.