Chapter 17 Eighteen years old Kath
Eighteen years old
Kath
Iknew that this was a good decision, but I don’t think I’d realised how great it would be until this week.
It’s been a whirlwind few days. I’m still driving Sam to training like usual, either staying at the sports centre or leaving him to take the bus back.
But now instead of watching films in the evening, we go to his room and fool around.
I think the time limit on things has made us slightly frantic. Everything’s dialled up.
Sam’s good at this stuff, or at least he’s a quick learner.
And it helps that I feel so comfortable around him that I can work out what I do and don’t like and then just tell him.
Everyone should have this, I think idly to myself one evening whilst brushing my teeth in his bathroom.
This is so much better than some of the experiences I’ve heard about from my other friends.
It’s Saturday, exactly a week since our deal started, and his dad’s working a late shift at the police station, so we have the house to ourselves. Sam is weirdly quiet when I arrive.
“What are you stressed about?” I ask as we tidy up our plates. We’re so used to moving in tandem in this house that we even have a routine for washing dishes.
“Nothing,” he says quickly.
“That’s obviously a lie.” I put the sponge down and turn to him.
When he says nothing in that tone, it doesn’t really mean nothing. His neck is slightly flushed, and his eyes keep darting away from me.
“I’m just…” He pauses, studying the mug he’s drying like it might suddenly give him life advice. “I’m just worried it won’t be good for you.”
My chest aches at his words. Of course he’s only thinking about me.
“I know the first time isn’t exactly groundbreaking. And honestly, Claire said the second, third and fourth were pretty rubbish too.”
His expression twists. “That’s not reassuring, Kath.”
I laugh. “I’m being honest. Lower the bar and then everything is a pleasant surprise.”
He’s still looking at the drying-up cloth instead of me, so I pluck it from his hand, forcing him to face me properly.
“I trust you, Sam.” His eyes flick over mine, still uncertain. “Just take a deep breath. It’s going to be fine.”
His throat bobs as he swallows. “I cannot believe you’re giving me a sex pep talk right now.”
I grab his hand, tugging him towards the stairs. “You love it, really.”
“Maybe,” he grudgingly admits.
The moment the bedroom door shuts behind him I’m on him, pulling up his shirt and ripping it off over his head.
I may have seen a lot of topless photos of Sam plastered over the internet.
And I may have seen him wearing Speedos more times that I can remember.
But nothing beats having him right here in front of me like this.
The warmth of his front pressing against me, his arms enveloping me.
It’s only been a week, and I’m obsessed with the sensation.
He pulls at my top and we break apart for him to tug it off over my head.
“Bra?” he asks.
“Yep,” I say breathlessly, and he unclasps it before dropping it to the floor. I look at him for a moment, just taking it in. His chest is heaving and his hair’s sticking out at angles around his face; his blue eyes flicker over my body, and I smile.
“I’m jumping,” I warn him, and leap up, letting him catch my legs around his waist as he holds me to him.
“You’re a menace,” he tells me, peppering my neck with kisses as he walks us towards the bed and drops me on it.
He stands at the edge of the mattress, gaze predatory as he pulls off first his shorts and then mine and pushes my legs apart to settle between them.
He props himself up on one arm so that he can look down at me.
It’s so familiar, so easy, that it’s hard to remember that we’ve only just started doing this.
“Is this alright?” he asks as he starts to touch me through my underwear.
“More than alright.” I pull his lips back down to mine. “Please keep doing that.”
We kiss for a few moments more, his hand making teasing touches until I claw at his back impatiently. “Take them off,” I say and he nods, kneeling to pull off my underwear before looking at me for a moment.
“Let me just go and get some stuff,” he says gruffly.
I huff in annoyance as he pushes back up off the bed.
My body already misses the warmth of his above mine.
When he comes back he has a navy towel in one hand, and a bottle of lube and box of condoms in the other.
We had the protection talk last week, but I’m glad he was the one who went to the shop to buy them.
“Seriously? You hid those in the bathroom?” I prop myself up on my elbows and gesture at the box. “Your dad will one hundred per cent have seen that.”
“Nah,” he smirks. “They were right at the bottom of my swimming bag. He’ll never know.”
I look at him sceptically as he puts the stuff on the side and then sits on the edge of the bed to lay out a towel. “He’s a police officer; he would definitely know to look in a sports bag. What’s the towel for?”
“Just in case.” He rolls it out and then pulls me over until I’m lying on top of it.
“So chivalrous,” I tease as I reach out to pull him back down on top of me.
His blue eyes look down at me, dark blond hair still tousled from my hands.
“If you want to stop at any point just tell me. But you in my bed naked is the hottest thing I’ve seen in my life.”
“You’re just a horny teenage boy.”
He pulls back with a frown.
“Nah, I’m not, Kath. It’s you. You’re so beautiful.
” His gaze looks me up and down. I don’t feel self-conscious in front of him, even as his eyes peruse my body, lingering on my breasts.
I pull him back towards me, sighing in contentment as he braces himself on top of me.
He touches me gently, rubbing steady circles around my clit, before slipping in one finger, then another, and gently twisting them.
It leaves me gasping for breath. I love it when he does this, I love the sensations that start to build, and how it almost feels like both too much and not enough.
“More?” he asks, and I nod.
“More.”
He rolls sideways so that he can watch me, as his fingers keep moving inside me. His eyes flicker from my face to his hand and my stomach tenses. Watching him watch us is making me wetter.
“Just let go, Kath.” He leans across to give me another kiss as I moan into his mouth. I feel the wave cresting and he swallows my gasp as it shatters through me, leaving me boneless.
“God, that was…” I trail off, unable to form coherent thoughts.
He drops a kiss onto my nose and quickly stands to take off his underwear. He kneels on the bed, leaning over me to grab a condom from the bedside table.
“Remember that sex ed class with Mr Lee?” I smile at him. “Was he preparing us for this moment?”
“Oh god,” he groans. “Please don’t. That was torture.”
He lowers himself towards me, arms bracketing either side of my face, and nips at my bottom lip. I open for him and we kiss again. I could do this forever. Eventually, I can feel him nudging at my entrance.
“Let me know if it gets uncomfortable,” he tells me, and I pull him in for another kiss as he starts to push in.
“Is this OK?” he whispers. I nod and he pushes in a tiny bit farther.
I brace for the burn and tilt my hips to give him more access.
He waits for me to nod again before thrusting forwards.
The sensation makes me gasp. It’s a lot.
Not painful, but not comfortable either.
But when I look up, I see Sam. The blue of his eyes, the breadth of his shoulders. The discomfort begins to fade slightly.
I lift my hips, a silent gesture for him to continue. He surges forwards again and stills. I think I hear him muttering quietly under his breath, and I try to tune in to what he’s saying.
“Are you reciting swimming training?” I ask with a laugh.
He nods into my shoulder. “You feel too good,” he mumbles slightly apologetically. “I’m trying to distract myself. Are you OK?”
I wiggle experimentally. It’s not exactly comfortable but it doesn’t hurt as much as I worried it would.
“I’m good,” I tell him. “You can move again. And don’t worry about reciting swimming stats, it’s fine. I know I’m not going to come again. But I promise it feels good.”
And I do like it. I like the feeling of his chest on mine.
His elbows on either side of me. He’s kissing my neck, still muttering to himself.
When he starts to move again it doesn’t feel quite as uncomfortable, though it’s still not as good as his fingers.
His hand teases down my front and I gasp as he starts to move faster.
His neck strains and his eyes squeeze shut.
I love watching him lose control like this.
He lets out a juddering gasp and stills, before collapsing on top of me.
“Fuuucccck,” he breathes out slowly, and I rub his back gently, breathing in the scent of his neck. It’s the smell of his soap, and the faintest hint of chlorine. The smell that is so thoroughly Sam.
“You OK there, Champ?” I ask him, slightly worried by his silence as he slowly pulls out of me and then collapses back down onto me again.
“I think you broke me,” he mumbles into my ear, pressing a kiss into where my neck meets my shoulder. “Shit. Sorry, Kath, am I crushing you?”
“No, don’t worry, it’s a nice crushing.” I chase his mouth with mine, claiming his lips.
“That was amazing,” he breathes out when we break the kiss. “Did I hurt you? Are you OK? I’m sorry I came so fast, it just felt so good.”
“Honestly, it didn’t really hurt,” I reply. “It was fine. Not as good as the other stuff we do but it was better than I thought it would be.”
“I’ll take that.” He pushes up onto his arms again. “We can work on making it feel good. It will eventually, I promise.”
He rolls off me and I gape at the blood I can see on my inner thighs.
“Oh shit,” I say.
“Nah, don’t worry. I told you the towel would be worth it.”
I swat at his chest as he gets up.
“Give me a minute.” He returns a moment later with a wet cloth and starts to wash me off.
“I can do that,” I say to him. Though I don’t feel embarrassed by it. Somehow when it’s just the two of us, it just feels easy. I sort of ache, but not in a bad way. It just feels different.
“No, let me.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I promised I’d take care of you.”
When we lie in bed later that evening, the lights off and the window open, I find myself tracing across his face with my finger.
“Are you excited to see everyone in two weeks?” I ask.
There’s a picnic planned to catch up on Wednesday.
Josh and Ben have been travelling around Europe, Claire has been away with her family in the south of France, our friendship group scattered around the rest of the country.
But everyone’s back to collect our exam results.
“Yeah,” he says. “Though I also like it when it’s just the two of us.”
“Me too. But it’ll be fun to hear about what the others have got up to.” I smile at him and he lets out a yawn. “Right, time to sleep. Another early start tomorrow. Lucky you love swimming, hey.”
He grumbles as I roll over, then pulls me against him.
I smile into the pillow. I’m going to miss this when he leaves. It’s bittersweet. But at least we have the next few weeks.
“Hey, Sam?” I say as he nuzzles into my neck.
“Hmm?” he asks.
“I had a superlatively good time today.”
“Me too,” he whispers against my skin.