Chapter 32 Twenty years old
Twenty years old
Sam
Icollapse over Kath’s back with a shudder, trying not to squash her as I catch my breath, but also not ready to remove myself completely.
I don’t want this week to end. We came back to Rio for the closing ceremony yesterday, and I already miss the beaches, the hikes, the evenings in the restaurant chatting.
And the fact that it was just the two of us.
That I could pretend it would always be just the two of us.
But now the nagging feelings are creeping back in.
The Olympics may be over, but training doesn’t stop.
There are the World Championships, then all our collegiate races.
And now I have to get gold in all of them, because anything less is a failure.
It’s all I hear from the commentators; how ‘promising’ I am.
And they’re right. I can do better. I need to do better.
I still haven’t broken that world record.
“You alright back there, Champ?” Kath asks as I continue to struggle to catch my breath. “We need to go meet your friends in an hour. Have I broken you?”
“I think I’ll be recovered by then,” I tell her, managing to roll myself off her but then pulling her close. If I could glue her to my side for the next few hours, I would.
As hard as it will be to say goodbye, I think Kath and I both know that a holiday isn’t the real world.
In the real world we live on different continents.
I’m studying in Florida, she’s in Exeter.
I focus on swimming, she focusses on medical school.
We barely manage to carve out the time to see each other once a year, even though I wish it could be more.
We probably should’ve never gone back down this road again.
I try to push down the feelings of self-loathing, but they continue to bubble beneath the surface.
What if Kath needed me for something and I couldn’t be there?
Just like I disappeared when I should have been there for my mum.
Who would hate me more for it? Her or myself?
I know we need to talk about all of this, but we only have one more day left, and I want today to be perfect. Anyway, the rules we made when we were eighteen are still in effect, right?
Kath moves closer to my side, and throws a leg over my hips. I tighten my arm around her, willing myself not to slip into a spiral where I over-analyse every word we’ve exchanged in the last week, mining them all for hidden meanings.
“Are you excited to see the others again?” she asks.
“Yes and no.” I absentmindedly twine a strand of her hair around my fingers.
“What do you mean?” she asks, looking at me curiously.
“I prefer it when it’s just the two of us,” I tell her, surprising myself at my own honesty.
She watches me carefully, eyes tracking my face. Then she stands up. “We need to get ready.”
I groan before getting up too. When I look at the girl in front of me I have no desire to go and meet up with anyone else. But then I see how much she’s smiling at the thought of seeing them all again, and I swallow the selfish part of me that wants to keep her to myself.
***
Kath looks beautiful when we arrive at the restaurant Austin booked for us.
Her black dress hugs her figure, and the thin straps and dipping front aren’t leaving too much to the imagination.
Austin raises his eyebrows at our clasped hands when we approach the table, and I quickly drop her hand before the others notice.
One more night, I remind myself. I’m allowed one more night in my fantasy world before I have to face reality again. And I want to make the most of it.
“How was your trip?” Seb asks as everyone sits down after a round of hugs. “What did you guys get up to?” He turns to Kath. “I don’t know whether Sam was more excited for the Olympics or for your holiday. It’s basically all he’s spoken about for the last few months.”
Wow. Way to throw me under the bus.
“It was great.” I take a sip from my water as it arrives at the table. “We did loads of hiking, went in the sea, relaxed.”
“It was fantastic.” Kath smiles.
“Excellent,” I whisper to her and she grins.
“Some might even say exceptional,” she whispers back.
“What are you two whispering about?” AJ says curiously. “Is this a thing now?” He gestures between the two of us. “Because if it isn’t, it should be. And if it is, I want it put on record that I called this many years ago.”
I reach for a comfortable deflection, but can't find one, so instead I focus on the menu. Luckily, the conversation moves on, but I can feel Kath's gaze boring into the side of my head.
Halfway through dessert I feel her hand land on my thigh, dangerously high up. I choke on my cheesecake.
“Alright there, Sam?” Kath asks innocently, taking a sip from her wine with her other hand. Her left hand keeps inching up my leg. My breath hitches again.
“Yep,” I grind out, giving her a warning look whilst Seb looks over from his conversation with Austin in slight amusement.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, KitKat,” I tell her darkly when the others turn away. “And I’m not sure whether you're ready for the consequences.”
“Oh, I think I’m going to enjoy the consequences.” She grins, and her thumb glides over me through my trousers.
The dinner conversation goes right over my head; I’m too focussed on her hand.
When we do leave the restaurant to go to a bar, there’s a bit of strategic repositioning on my part, a lot of deep breaths and several moments of thinking about swimming stats.
Which Kath finds hilarious. Of course she does.
When we arrive at the bar I pull her into my lap as we squeeze into the booth and put both her hands onto the table.
“Keep those hands where I can see them,” I whisper to her, as Austin goes to buy a round of drinks.
“I’m not sure what you're talking about,” she says, even as she readjusts herself on my lap, grinding into me and forcing me to hiss out another breath. Fine, she’s proven her point. She has other ways to torture me.
One beer later, my hand lands on Kath’s thigh. “Two can play this game,” I tell her as I innocently sip my drink with my other hand.
“So Kath, how’s England? How’s doctor training?” asks Seb. She starts to answer, and I slowly begin to inch my hand under her dress and up her thighs. We’re tucked into the corner seat. Shielded enough that none of the others can see my hand under the table.
“It’s good.” She tries to elbow me. I grin into the back of her neck and slip my hand around to the inside of her leg. “I get to start on proper hospital placements from next year, which is really exciting. Fewer lectures, and more practical things.”
“Ah, that’s cool,” he replies. “Do you have set rotations you go through or is it random?”
I start to toy with the edges of her underwear, and she sucks a breath in.
“Oh, umm, it’s a set of rotations,” she answers. “We all have to do a bit of surgery, a bit of emergency medicine, general practice, paediatrics and all that stuff. It’s in hospitals all around Devon too. It’ll be nice to get to explore the county.”
“Your grandma lives there, doesn’t she?” Seb asks, as I slide my hand underneath her underwear. She’s soaking. I slowly start to rub circles, just the way I know she likes.
“Yeah, she does,” Kath manages to get out after a minute. “Sam came to visit a few times during the summer. Didn’t you, Sam?”
I’m distracted by my name, pausing my finger at her entrance. I can feel her legs tensing.
“I did,” I answer and sink my finger inside her simultaneously. She stiffens against me. “It’s a beautiful part of the world. You should visit sometime, Seb. The coastline is stunning.”
I can feel her back beginning to arch as I slowly slide in and out.
I’ve changed my mind. I love this game. Seb’s follow-up question fades into the background.
All my attention is fixed on Kath’s reactions.
The clench in her jaw. The goosebumps I can see forming on her arm.
I know she can feel me hardening beneath her, and she grinds back into me reflexively.
“Sam, can we bar… I mean go to bar. I mean get something from the bar?” Kath says to me in a slightly breathless voice. I nod, extricating my finger from her smoothly and readjusting her dress before she stands.
“What are you doing?” she hisses as she pulls me away from the table.
“Payback’s a bitch.” I grin at her, maintaining eye contact as I pop my finger into my mouth and lick it clean. I can see her cheeks flushing more than they already are. Her pupils are blown.
“You cannot leave me like this,” she says.
“Can’t I?”
In fairness, I was planning on the pair of us leaving for the hotel in the next few minutes, but maybe I can torture her a bit more.
“Nope.” She grabs my hand, pulling me towards a bathroom before locking the door behind us. “Finish what you started,” she challenges me.
“With pleasure,” I tell her, lifting her so that she’s on the sink and spreading her thighs apart as I push between them. I inch her dress up her thighs and under her, exposing the lace of her underwear which is visibly damp. She whimpers as I slowly move her panties to the side, baring her to me.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper against her lips as I lean forwards for a kiss, our breath intermingling as she arches towards me.
My fingers ghost up and down her legs, before finally returning to her heat, and I sink a finger into her. She lets out a moan, which I capture in my mouth.
“Quiet, KitKat,” I tell her. “Wouldn’t want anyone to work out what’s going on in here, now would we?”
She whimpers and shakes her head as I inch in a second finger, gently crooking them inside her and watching as she takes another shuddering breath.
Pushing the shoulder of her dress down, I lick along the edge of her bra line before pushing down the other strap, along with her bra, and freeing her breasts.
“I want you to see yourself,” I tell her, picking her up and spinning her round. “Put your knee on the ledge.”
Her dress pools around her waist and I can see her chest rising and falling, her nipples peaked in the air. Her eyes grow hooded as we make eye contact and her head thuds back against my shoulder. This was definitely a good idea, I think to myself as I watch the pair of us in the mirror.
“This is my favourite view,” I tell her as I ease my finger back in and watch her shudder again. “Look at yourself, Kath; look at what you do to me.”
“God, Sam,” she strangles out, and I laugh as I move my hand up to her throat, tipping her mouth towards mine, curling my fingers loosely around her neck as her hands tug at my hair.
“Are you close?” I whisper against her lips, increasing the rhythm of my fingers.
I can feel her nodding against me and her whole body is taught.
I press down again, and she lets out another moan and shudders around me, walls clamping on my fingers as she comes.
This truly is the best feeling in the world.
It’s as good as the medals. Maybe better.
She goes lax in my arms and then tugs my hair again, pulling me in for another soft kiss.
“I can’t even describe that,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I think it was superlative,” I whisper against her mouth and she chuckles. “But you’re lucky there’s music playing outside or everyone would know exactly what we were just up to.”
“You think you could stay quiet?” she says, bringing her knee down and twisting in my arms to arch a brow at me.
“Well, I wouldn’t be louder than you,” I tell her with a smirk.
“Are you really sure about that?” Kath reaches for my waist and untucks my shirt. “That sounds like fighting talk to me, and you know I don’t like to lose.”
“I don’t like to lose either,” I tell her, pulling her back in for a kiss even as she starts to work on my belt buckle.
“Well, I’m up for some side-by-side comparison.” She undoes my belt and drops to her knees. “I do like a scientific study.”
My laugh is cut off by my moan.