9. James
“ R eady to talk yet?”
Ash groans. “No, you just fucked my brains out.”
Laughing, I lean over and kiss his head. “You asked me to.”
He hums and folds his arms under his head, turning to look at me with dark amber eyes. “I did, and you delivered, as always. What would I do without you?”
“Perish,” I deadpan.
He laughs and I grin, allowing him to scoot closer and lean against me. “Seriously, though,” he mutters. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
These are the moments no one else gets to see. Around everyone else he’s a sarcastic pain in the ass with no bedside manner. And though he’s still like that when we’re alone, he’s also just Ash with me, not Doc. He doesn’t have to work hard to pretend to have his shit together, or to be what everyone needs in an emergency.
“I almost kissed my new assistant today,” he says, words muffled by the pillow he’s buried his face into.
Reaching down, I grip his hair and lift his head up, forcing him to look at me. “I’m not sure that’s what Cristian meant when he told you to be nice.”
He scoffs and I tug his hair a bit harder, making his mouth drop open on a gasp. “I didn’t mean to, and I didn’t do anything.”
“But you wanted to.”
“Yes. He… There’s something about him that is intriguing, and it called to me on a level I’ve never experienced before, not even with you. No offense.”
“None taken, my dear. I know what you mean.”
Ash sighs and I release his hair, letting him put his head down. He shifts on the bed so he’s laying half in my lap, and I drop my hand to gently run my fingers through his soft brown hair.
“Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but there’s just something about him that calls to those deep, dark parts of me. The ones no one wants to see.”
I tug on his hair once again before going back to petting him. “I do. I see them, and I understand them. I just can’t… I can’t.”
“I know. And I don’t want that from you. I never have, never will. You’re different.”
I snort. Different . That’s one way to put it. But it works for us, and has for years, so it doesn’t bother me.
“I can’t wait to see how… intriguing this new assistant of yours is.”
He groans and rolls over onto his back, glaring up at me. “I don’t like how you said that. Please don’t scare him off. Cristian’s already said I have to be on my best behavior since he’s Petrov’s nephew.”
I laugh and lean down, kissing his forehead. “Unlike you, I actually know how to behave, Ash.”
He sticks his tongue out and grumbles something under his breath.
Deciding to go easy on him, I change the subject. “You hungry yet?”
“I could eat, yeah.”
“Did you eat anything today?” He doesn’t meet my eyes and I sigh. “You need a keeper.”
“I was busy!”
Shaking my head, I slide out of bed and head for the dresser, snagging a pair of sweats and putting them on. “Next time, I’ll tell whoever’s in charge of you to make sure you eat.”
“I don’t need to be micromanaged, James.”
“Apparently you do,” I snap back. “I’ll go heat up the food. Don’t move.”
“Yes, sir ,” he sasses.
“You so need a keeper,” I mutter with a shake of my head.
The house is quiet when I go downstairs, and I hope that means Enzo isn’t giving Kail a hard time. In his position, I know I wouldn’t be an easy patient, so I don’t blame my colleague for his stubbornness, but I also hope he’s not causing himself unnecessary damage because of it.
The pizza Ash ordered earlier doesn’t take long to heat up, and I arrange everything on a serving tray. As I turn to grab the salad out of the fridge, Kail walks into the kitchen.
“Oh,” he says when he sees me. “Hi.”
I smile at the younger man. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. Thanks for dinner, by the way. Doc said you paid for it.”
That fucker. I smile at Kail, because it’s not his fault Ash has my credit card number memorized. “You’re welcome. I won’t ask you to betray his confidence, but…how’s Enzo doing?”
Kail worries his lip before moving in closer. “He’s… I’m not sure actually. He hasn’t started therapy yet, and won’t really talk about how he’s feeling with me. I don’t blame him. I mean, he just went through something traumatic, but I think Doc was right, he hasn’t allowed himself to really think about what’s happened yet.”
I nod in understanding. Nobody expects Enzo to move on so quickly, but it has to start somewhere. That he’s so closed off at the moment is worrisome. I hope it only means he’s not ready to process what happened, and not that he’s going to try to ignore it for as long as possible.
“Let me know if you need a break. I know Doc has other people coming and going throughout the day, but if you ever need someone to take over a night shift, or even sit with you, call me and I’ll come down.”
“I will, thanks.”
Making sure I have everything, I pick up the tray. “Have a good night, Kail.”
“You too.”
Carefully, I head upstairs with my burden and find Ash right where I left him. He sits up in bed when I set the tray down on the nightstand.
“Ugh, why can’t I just eat my post-fuck pizza?” he whines when I hand him the salad.
“Because for a doctor you’re shit at healthy eating. Now, stop bitching or I won’t let you have any pizza. Especially since I apparently paid for it.”
He looks at me with not-so-innocent eyes. “Uhh, right, thank you for that.”
Rolling my eyes, I dig into my own food. I’d threaten to change my card—again—but I know that won’t deter the little shit.
We don’t say much as we eat, but then we don’t need to. Our relationship has always been more based on feelings—ironic considering my not being able to understand feelings is one reason we’ll never be a couple—and the contentment we gain from just being in one another’s presence.
This type of comfort isn’t something you can find with everyone, especially in our world, and we both hold onto it with two hands.