31. Doc
I wake up in Soren’s arms. My body jolts as my brain comes back online, but the initial sense of disorientation and panic are missing. Soren’s arms tighten around me, though his eyes remain shut and his breathing is still deep and even.
I watch him, the porcelain planes of his face are bright in the morning light, the freckles on his cheeks and nose stand out starkly against the pale skin, and his blond hair falls over his forehead in soft waves. Asleep, he looks far younger than he is. So much so, it’s almost hard to believe this is the same man that spanked me and then used me for his pleasure while driving me to the height of my own.
He didn’t tip me over into subspace, but I didn’t expect him to. Some people can get there without much effort—I’m not one of them. I can count on one hand the number times I’ve felt safe and secure enough to allow myself to trip that far, and even then, it wasn’t very deep or lasted very long, as the connection between the Dominant and I wasn’t quite there.
With my Daddy, though, I think we can get there, one day. He already took me deep enough into a submissive space that, while it’s not how I perceive subspace to be, it was still a very vulnerable position to be in. That amount of release is…a heady feeling. The chance to be able to let it all go, to trust my Daddy, it was an experience I never thought I’d have.
That thought makes me shiver and I move in closer, soaking up Daddy’s presence as he holds me in his sleep.
I must doze off, because the next thing I know, Daddy is pulling away and I’m opening my eyes, even as I reach for him.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby; I’m not going anywhere,” he assures me. I cling to him and he presses a lingering kiss to my forehead. “I need to check your cock and your wounds, is that okay?”
I nod. “Yes, Daddy.”
He brings our mouths together in a brief kiss, before flinging the blankets back and encouraging me onto my side. Carefully, he moves my leg up and exposes my dick. Taking it into his hand, he examines it, making sure nothing is chafing or digging into my skin.
“How does it feel?”
“Heavy, Daddy, but it doesn’t hurt or anything.”
“Good, I’m glad. On your stomach now.”
He helps me roll onto my front, positioning me exactly how he wants me before dragging his fingers lightly over my swollen and bruised ass. I moan lightly as discomfort shoots through me, but Daddy soothes me and presses a soft kiss to the back of my shoulder.
“I’ll put more cream on you after we shower. Or do you want a bath?”
“Shower, Daddy. Please.”
“Anything you want, baby. Good boys get rewarded.”
“Pretty sure I can still taste your cum,” I snark. “I’d say that’s reward enough.”
He laughs. “Ah, there’s my snippy doctor.” He presses another kiss to my shoulder, only this one is paired with a sharp bite, making me whine a little.
“Up, we both have things to do today.” He lightly swats my ass and I hiss, making him laugh.
Gingerly, I sit on the edge of the bed, making sure my body is steady before trying to stand. Soren watches me carefully, his bright blue eyes assessing me as I test putting weight on my legs.
When I’m sure I won’t collapse once I’m upright, I stand. I’m wobbly, but my head is clear and my muscles ache in a good way—except for my ass, of course.
Soren reaches for my hand and I let him lead me into the bathroom. It’s awkward to use the toilet with him in the room, but he does a good job of pretending he’s not watching my every move as he turns the shower on.
The cage is designed so that it’s not a hardship to do what I need to do, I just can’t get hard. The heavy weight of the metal makes it nearly impossible for me to forget it’s there, but as I follow Soren into the shower, it gets easier to ignore.
Soren laughs as my cheeks heat when he starts washing me. “All the things we’ve done in the past twelve hours and me bathing you is what embarasses you?”
I shrug a little. “What can I say, I’m a complicated man, Daddy.”
He laughs again, but his eyes are soft when they meet mine. “That you are, Doc.”
From anyone else, it would be mocking, or even a dig at the…sharp parts of my personality, but I know Soren well enough by now to know he doesn’t mean it like ninety percent of people.
Hearing him call me Doc though… It triggers a memory from the previous night. And the in-the-moment good feelings I had aren’t there now, in the light of day.
Soren reaches up to brush wet hair away from my forehead. “What just went through your mind?” he asks softly.
I don’t want to say it, don’t want to pop the soft and quiet bubble between us, but I also know that’s not how this works.
Sighing, I say, “You called me Ashby…”
Soren winces and guilt fills his expression. “I’m sorry. It slipped out in the moment, and when you didn’t react, I went with it. I should have stopped and checked in with you. We had an entire conversation about boundaries for a reason, and the first chance I get, I fucked up.”
“I want to say it’s okay, but…it’s not, not really.”
Soren cringes and a pang goes through me at the knowledge that my words have put such a wounded expression on his face.
Bringing a hand up, I thread my fingers through his wet hair. Taking a liberty I normally wouldn’t with any other Dom, I pull on his hair, tugging his head back and forcing him to look up at me.
“I didn’t say it to make you feel bad; you’re right in that we’ve already had this discussion. And crossing a line like that is a big deal, but…I didn’t hate it. At least, not in the moment. I can’t handle hearing my name in an everyday setting, that’s not who I am anymore, but…maybe in a scene it won’t be so traumatic.”
He shakes his head and I tighten my grip in his hair, stilling the motion. “You don’t have to say that just to appease my guilt. I am so, so sorry, Doc. I wanted to hurt you in a good way last night, and I ended up doing the opposite.”
“No, that’s my point. It didn’t hurt, not then. Because you had me so focused on you, and what you were doing to me. I didn’t have to be anything or anyone but yours, and that makes all the difference. So…maybe not every time, but if the situation calls for it, or it’s natural, then…I’ll be okay with you using my first name.”
Bright blue eyes that shine with far too many emotions than I can decipher, stare up at me, and I let him see the sincerity in my gaze.
“You’ll tell me if this isn’t what you want? If I fuck up and step too far out of line?”
I nod. “Safewords aren’t just to stop a scene, but for communication as well. I promise, I’ll let you know if I need to use one, or to talk about something.”
“Okay. I’m still going to feel guilty that I messed up in the first place, but thank you for trusting me.”
“You make it easy. And that’s not something I ever thought I’d say, but it’s true. We might be new, but this already feels different compared to every other experience I’ve had.”
“Same here, Doc, same here.”
Using my grip on his hair, I direct his head to where I want it, and lean in to kiss him, soft and slow, and so full of promise.
After our shower, Soren lets me out of my cage long enough to make sure my cock isn’t getting sore before locking it back up.
“How long are you going to torture me for?”
He grins at me in the mirror as he bends me over, forcing my ass to stick out for him. “As long as I want. Behave and it’ll go by quickly. Now, hold still.”
Carefully, he rubs cream into my bruised ass and I moan, enjoying the feeling of his hands on me, even though my sore and battered body tells me nothing fun can happen this morning.
I'm definitely feeling my age after long play. At the thought, I look into my own amber eyes reflected in the mirror, noting the slight crow’s feet at the corners. My medium-brown hair is the same as always, though while damp it looks darker than it is. I haven’t started graying yet, which is a blessing, but if I follow in my father’s footsteps, I know it’s coming within the next ten years.
My body is the same as it’s been since my early thirties: my height is really the only advantage I have at five-eleven. My frame is average, muscle mass hard for me to gain, but what I do have has yet to be lost to time, despite the fact I don’t exercise nearly as much as I should.
The seventeen year age gap between us means Soren still has a lot of life to live before he has to worry about his gentle descent into not looking like the twink he is. Whereas I’ve already been there, done that, minus the twink part. For a moment, I wonder what the hell he’s doing with me.
But when he glances at me in the mirror, blue eyes so big, bright, and full of lust for me , I wonder if it even matters. His reasons are his own, just like mine are for me to deal with.
We’ve known each other for a month and a half, not nearly long enough to know if this thing is going anywhere, but…being older and wiser has its advantages. I can already tell this is different from any type of relationship I’ve ever been in. For more than just the Daddy kink. Soren seems to get me in a way no one except James ever has.
Point proven by the way he leans over me, fingernails digging into my hips, as he sucks the skin of my shoulder into his mouth and bites down.
Soren latches onto my flesh, adding to the collection of bruises already decorating my body. When he pulls back, I see blood on his lips as he licks at the mark he’s leaving behind. It stings, but watching him take my blood into his body, knowing he’s claiming me so explicitly, has me moaning, and my caged dick aches to be let free.
I could fall for him, if I’m not careful.
When Soren spins me around, slamming me firmly—yet still gently enough so as not to damage me—against the vanity, and takes my mouth with his, I realize it’s already the beginning of the end.