40. Soren
F orty-eight hours after saving Jude’s life, James and I drag Doc back home. Doc doesn’t flinch when James climbs into the shower with us, nor does he say anything when I force both him and the bodyguard into bed.
I expected us all to pass out after the long days of very little sleep, but what has to be mere hours after falling into bed, I wake to find Doc and James have changed places in bed, with Doc now sitting against the headboard on the other side, James between us.
“Hey,” I whisper, careful not to wake the other man.
Doc looks up from his book and smiles a little. “Hey, yourself. Go back to sleep, it’s only been three hours or so.”
“What about you? And how’d I end up on the other side of a James sandwich?”
Doc snorts and lifts his book. “He must have moved when I got up to go downstairs. Sorry. I didn’t want to risk waking either of you in order to move him.”
“It’s fine, it’s not weird or anything. But, why aren’t you asleep?”
He shrugs. “I told you I have sleep issues. You’ve only seen how hard it is for me to wake, not the nights where it’s impossible for me to sleep, no matter how tired I am. It’s one of the reasons I read so much. It gives me something to do in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is asleep, and my brain and body aren’t cooperating.”
“Insomnia’s a bitch, huh. I know my cousin and Dima both have it, and they’ve whined enough about it.”
“Yeah, I’ve struggled for a long time, but especially since… Well, when Cristian and Tennant found me, it got worse.”
“Nightmares?”
He nods. “Yeah. Part of the reason I have such a hard time waking up is because the nightmares always felt as if they were holding me under. Over time, those have lessened, but the feelings still linger. It’s why James usually sleeps with me, to help remind me I’m here and I’m safe, and I’m not alone.
“The not being able to fall asleep issues, yeah, we haven’t quite managed to work that out yet.”
“Have you considered taking something? Even if it doesn’t keep you asleep, it’ll help make going to bed easier.”
He makes a face and shakes his head. “Can’t, meds made the nightmares worse. We tried again after they stopped, but it didn’t help. Plus, I don’t like how they make me feel. And if shit hits the fan, I need to be on my A-game should the Family need me.”
“Makes sense.”
Doc laughs a little. “It’s okay if it doesn’t. I’m not all that sure it makes sense to me , but I’ve lived this way for longer than I can remember. I’ve learned to adapt. I wasn’t always a reader, but Cristian had some books in his office, and one night, I kept him company because I couldn’t sleep. He was working day and night trying to get the Family in order, because his uncle had just died, and he had a baby due imminently. Anyway, I picked up a random book about some historic crime Families and actually enjoyed it.
“I ended up reading his entire small collection in about a week, and so he started buying me books. Nonfiction and fiction.” He holds up the book in his hands. “Turns out I like fiction the best, especially queer romance.”
I smile and get more comfortable on the bed. James shifts, pressing further against me with a sigh.
Doc rolls his eyes. “You can push him over if you want.”
Wrapping an arm around the bodyguard, I press a little closer to him. “We’re fine. Tell me about your book.”
Doc huffs but obliges. “It’s set in a Deaf cafe, boss/employee, a bit of enemies to lovers…” He rambles on, telling me about the plot and the characters, and how the author’s words slay him in the best of ways, and I close my eyes, letting his voice drift me back to sleep.
SOREN
Get something that I can use to restrain you and meet me in your office. 5 mins.
Our day off shouldn’t start with a punishment, but my boy has a mouth that doesn’t know when to quit, so needs must.
Six minutes after I sent the text, the door to Doc’s office opens and he walks in.
“You’re late,” I say sternly once the door is shut and locked.
“Sorry, Daddy. I couldn’t decide what to bring.”
“You’ll get spanked for that. Over the desk, and quickly.”
He lets out a gasp but crosses the room, drops a roll of bondage tape and a pair of scissors on the desk before undressing. When he goes to drop his clothes to the floor, I clear my throat.
Doc flushes and haphazardly begins folding his clothes. As I push the chair away from the desk, his blush deepens and he slows down.
“Take your time and do it righ,” I tell him, rounding the desk. “If you make one more mistake, I’ll put you in the corner, understand?”
“Yes, Daddy. I’m sorry.”
“Take a breath, baby, and show me how sorry you are.”
Doc breathes in and out slowly, and he finally remembers his place as he neatly folds his clothes and hands them to me.
“Good boy.” Setting the clothes on the desk beside me, I reach for him. “There’s no reason to get so worked up, baby. Yes, you’re going to be punished, but once it’s over, all is forgotten.”
Doc easily slides between my legs as I lean against the desk. He shudders as I hold him close, and for a long moment, he desperately clings to me.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” he says.
“Shh, you’re fine.” Pressing a kiss to his temple, I let my lips linger. “I happen to like messy.”
He snorts. “I got nervous,” he admits. “Once my mouth starts running, most people don’t stick around. And it’s not like I can turn that part of my personality off for long. Sure, some of it is a defense mechanism, and how I deal with stress, but the rest is…just me.”
“Hey.” Easing him back, I stare into beautiful yet terrified amber eyes. “I happen to like…” I stop and shake my head. “No,” I say, reaching up and cupping his cheeks, forcing him to keep his gaze on mine. “I happen to love ‘just you’.”
“Daddy…”
“I love you, baby. I’ve been falling for a long time, and maybe it’s too fast, but it’s right. I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Granted my history isn’t very long, but it’s enough for me to know what I do and don’t want.
“I love your messiness, your mouth that gets you in so much trouble, and the way you care about those around you. I love how you care for James, and how you try to be what he needs. I love that you’re not afraid to ask me for what you need. Maybe this is too soon, but I’m done caring.”
When his tears fall, I swipe them away before gently leaning in and kissing him. “I love you, Ashby Percival Wescott, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
He laughs a little before a sob escapes and I kiss him again, tasting the salt from his tears on my lips.
“I love you, too, Daddy.” He takes a shuddering breath. “Soren. Daddy. Mine.”
“Yeah, I’m yours, and you’re mine. And you still need to be punished.”
He groans but nods. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Over the desk, baby.”
Doc sighs but moves back enough that I can slide out from between him and the desk. I help him lean over the wooden surface, my breath catching at the sight of him stretched out before me.
Ghosting my hand over his ass, I smile at his moan.
“I can’t wait for you to wear my marks again,” I tell him before going back around the desk. Reaching into the drawer, I pull out the sturdy, old-school wooden ruler I found while I was waiting.
“Oh, fuck,” he says when he sees it.
I laugh. “Oh fuck is right, baby. This might hurt…a lot.”