Chapter 17
Doc
“You’re doing the right thing,” I hear Meghan say to my girl just across the common room at the Untamed clubhouse. I smile softly at her bravery despite the concern she has written all over her face, the fear of the unknown evident for her.
Shadow stands rigid beside me and Thunder, all of us looking at her, watching as she says goodbye to her safe haven. To the people who helped her when they didn’t need to, to brothers I am extremely grateful for.
I hear Shadow growl with impatience under his breath while Thunder sighs, and I roll my eyes.
She hasn’t spoken to them, and it’s tearing them apart.
I get it, I do, she’s been a little quiet with me since yesterday, since I told her who she was and it took a lot for her to even agree to come home to begin with.
So they have to understand that already this is too much for her.
She’s leaving the safe space she found herself in when she woke up and is moving to a place she has no memory of.
To be surrounded by people she feels a familiarity with but can’t place where it comes from.
Speaking to them as well, hearing stories of her childhood, it would become too much to bear and as Bailey’s father, they knew I had to speak to her first.
Fuck, father, I cannot believe I'm a father.
I haven’t let it sink in yet but I know when I get my girls home, the regret the guilt, the realization will knock me for fucking six.
“She won’t even look our way. What the fuck did you tell her?” Shadow demands lowly, a threat lacing in his tone, and I raise a brow at him.
Fucker forgot I was pres or something?
I let him punch me once because I knew I deserved it.
I won’t have him talk to me disrespectfully.
I am still his president and I am a good one at that, doubling what he originally got from the club so I earned his respect.
If he thinks I’m going to apologize for going there with his daughter, well, he has another thing coming.
The woman is my fucking everything. I just made the wrong decisions for us, but the right choices for Cole and Caleb, for the club.
“Dad doesn’t mean it like that, Doc,” Thunder murmurs, and Shadow winces, seeing how his demand looked, and agrees, “I didn’t, I was talking as a worried father.”
“I told her the truth, Shadow, about me, her, I told her what she needed to know. Where you two are concerned she’s just not ready,” I admit as I look back at my girl squeezing Sky tightly while Flame holds my daughter's car seat, watching with a soft smile.
She isn’t ready to leave our daughter with me, and I get it, I do. In her mind, even though we have this connection, even though there is a familiarity for her, I’m still a stranger, but I fucking hate it.
“I haven’t even been able to meet my granddaughter,” Shadow grumbles, and I admit, “you nearly didn’t have a granddaughter,” gaining his full attention, his eyes wide.
“I hurt Brit that much. The day she was attacked, she’d been to see the doctor and got pills to terminate the pregnancy,” I confess, and he stumbles back in shock while Thunder mutters, “Fuck…”
Yeah, fuck indeed.
I look back at Brit. I think that will forever haunt me, knowing she was so close to terminating her pregnancy, close to not having Bailey, who I see in my girl's eyes, is her whole world.
“It’s going to destroy her if she ever remembers that,” Shadow chokes, and I hum because yep, already aware of that fucker.
I don’t know if telling her would be the best option.
I may have my medical degree, I may have worked my way up in the ER, but I’ve never had to deal with something like this. Amnesia I no jack shit how to approach it long term. What I do know is, I have to tread lightly.
I’m out of my fucking comfort zone and hurting Brit any more than I already have, isn’t something I want to do.
“Is she wearing your shirt?” Thunder suddenly asks, and I smile.
“Yeah, it’s one I left at her house but never got back,” I mumble, not taking my eyes off Brittany to see their reactions.
“She said it felt like a comfort blanket, something she knew she needed. She wears it nearly every day to feel that comfort, unless Bailey throws up on it…,” I admit, her words from yesterday filling me, her confession when I questioned why she always wears my shirt.
“How you doing with all that?” Thunder asks, and I side eye him with a brow raise, and he elaborates, “Finding out you’re a dad? That you nearly went through with that wedding when she’s had your kid.”
I swallow hard and look back at Brit to see she’s now talking to Annie and Axel.
“I admitted to her I still would have gone through with the wedding, the pressure I had, the kids, I would have still done it, even after finding out about Bailey, I would have,” I admit lowly, “I love her something fucking fierce, but…”
I sigh, my words trailing off, the feeling like I’m the biggest dickhead going filling me.
“But the president has to do what he must for his club,” Shadow finishes, and I nod, hating his words even if they are true.
I wouldn’t have put her first.
“Even though I never claimed her, a small part of me wanted to. It made me believe I could so I was still pushing back against dad. Even when he threatened to call a vote, using my job as his excuse, until I got that picture of Cole and Caleb and I knew I had to do it but finding out she had my baby, that she was going to terminate, I feel like I can’t fucking breathe.
I failed her by not choosing her, by not putting her first like I should have,” I mutter, my jaw tight.
I see her as my one, yet I didn’t choose her. I can’t forgive myself for that, so how in the hell am I supposed to expect her to forgive me?
As soon as her memories return and they will return, she’s going to hate me.
My phone goes off as Thunder states, “You were put in an impossible situation, Doc. I knew about the cops showing up at the club, but I had no idea about the shit going on at the hospital or the threats against the boys. Your dad started the chain of events, and you had to suffer for it. Stop beating yourself up.”
Never going to happen. I didn’t choose Brit, my heart. I can’t help but beat myself up.
Shaking my head, I check the message and tense.
Senator Dickhead:
You have one week to arrange a meeting with my office to discuss a new wedding date, or I will take action. My daughter expects a lavish honeymoon to compensate for the embarrassment you caused her by walking out!
A new picture of Cole and Caleb accompanies the message, showing both of them grinning, with red circles around their heads.
Fucker.
It’s the fifth threat I’ve gotten from the senator, who evidently is getting too big for his fucking boots. Either that, or he knows he’s not going to win the next election, meaning his monthly money goes down and whoever he has in his pocket disappears.
It’s always about money.
“Alright, your truck and your bike are full of gas,” Stone says as he walks over, but I don’t take my eyes off the picture, rage coursing through me.
Stone arrived late last night, bringing my truck so I can drive back with Brit and our daughter and he’ll take my bike back, the only brother I trust to ride it.
“Shall we quickly talk about her living arrangements?” Shadow quickly says, and I tense.
“She can’t stay at her house, especially knowing she was targeted for her affiliation with you.
I spoke to her mama, and she wants her home and nowhere near the club.
She’s pissed as it is that I never told her we found her. ”
“Dad,” Thunder sighs, but Shadow continues, “You can still see Bailey, pres, but it’ll be away from club property, that is the agreement me and her mama have made.”
Stone clears his throat to stop his snort, knowing Shadow is in for a rude fucking awakening, fuck, even Thunder has turned his head.
I turn and pass my phone to Stone, who frowns but curses when he sees the photo. A photo the fucker shouldn’t have been able to get considering the kids have prospects surrounding them at the moment, before getting his phone out to call Dirty while I turn and look at Shadow.
“It’s already been arranged, Brit and our daughter will be staying with me,” I state, and Thunder winces as his father turns rigid.
I remind him, “She has no memory of her mama, you or Thunder, fuck, she only remembers the day we met and that is it,” he opens his mouth but I continue, “This isn’t about what you want or what her mama wants.
This is about what Brit needs and she doesn’t need to be bombarded with a lecture from her mama for being with a brother to begin with.
Which is hypercritical by the way, and she certainly doesn’t need to be in a place she finds unfamiliar.
Besides, she’s already said she isn’t ready to speak to Kathleen, so respect her wishes,” his jaw ticks, and I command, “Respect her fucking wishes or stay away from the club until you do!”
“Dirty is on it,” Stone growls, and Tank, who's just walked over, asks, “On what?”
“I got another threat, the senator is getting desperate,” I admit before I walk away from the brothers and Shadow’s stormy face.
Fucker needs to stay in his lane. If he thinks I’m going to allow him and his wife to bombard Brit’s life when she’s still trying to figure out who she was, then he has another thing coming.
Brit and I spoke at length about her staying with me, and I called my mama.
She’s already set up a nursery in my home for Bailey and has reluctantly agreed to keep clear for a few days.
My girls are coming home with me, and that is fucking final.
Flame smiles when I get close and holds the car seat carrier up towards me and I take it instantly, my eyes going to Bailey, who is sound asleep in a milk coma after her mama fed her and I soften.
Dark hair, my eyes, my nose – she’s all me…
A daughter, I have a fucking daughter.
I haven’t been able to process it yet. My mind is busy trying to figure out how to bring my girls home and how to deal with the shitshow back home. I’m due back on shift in a week after getting a call they need me back sooner, meaning leaving my girls alone.
Nothing has gone through my head yet.
“You ready, Tinkerbell?” I ask my girl, knowing I have plenty of time to freak out later about the fact that I am, indeed, a dad.
Brittany swallows hard as we lock eyes, and I give her a soft look, seeing the fear in her beautiful eyes.
“No,” she admits, and Meghan quickly says, “We’ll only be a phone call away, Brit.”
Brittany nods before looking around her newfound family, and then walks towards me. I instantly put my arm around her waist on instinct, and she tenses before she relaxes, her body knowing my touch, her mind, not so much.
“I can’t thank you enough, brother,” I say to Axel, and he smiles as he wraps an arm around his old lady, who has tears in her eyes.
“If you don’t bring them back a few times a month, I’m sending male strippers to your club,” she threatens, and I grin as everyone laughs.
“I promise we’ll make frequent visits,” I agree, and not just because I know for a fact she will indeed send strippers, but because the Untamed —they’re my girls' newfound family —and I wouldn’t dream of taking that away from her.
Annie nods, and I turn my head and kiss Brit’s before murmuring, “Let's go home, baby,” and she nods as I turn us and call, “Rebels, let’s roll out!”
My dad, Tank, Stone, Shadow, and Thunder all nod and salute the Untamed before filing out just as Axel calls, “Flame, Dagger, Ink, ride with them to the end of town, your women are welcome to go on the back of your bikes!”
Chairs scrape as we walk out of the club, and I guide Brit to my black truck. I open the passenger door before going to the back and clicking Bailey’s car seat in its base I installed last night.
I check on her and see she’s still sound asleep, her pacifier in place, and I quietly shut the door before shutting Brit’s.
“Pres?” Stone says, and I look at the brothers all on bikes.
I command, “Stone in front, Dad and Shadow to my left, Thunder to my right, Tank at the back, stay focused, we have precious cargo on board.”
The brothers nod, and I round the truck before climbing in and starting her up.
I hear a sniffle to my right, and I flinch, hating that I can’t make this easier for her, that I can’t bring her memories back.
Gently, I reverse out of my spot before driving out of the Untamed gates, their brothers leading the way out of town, all while my girl silently cries, and I fucking hate it.
Sliding my arm behind her back, I pull her over the bench seat, bringing her next to me, and instinctively, she curls into me, settling me, and I hold her tight while keeping my eyes on the road.
Fuck.
Seven hours later, after a peaceful drive where my girl barely said a word, too much on her mind.
We only stopped three times so Brit could feed our daughter, I bypassed the clubhouse and my pouting mother who has clearly broken her promise waiting outside the front door and drove to my home with my two sleeping girls.
Brit isn’t ready for the club, her mama, fuck, I don’t even think she’s prepared for me. But if she thinks I’ll allow her to go, when I’ve finally got her back, then she has another thing coming.
She’s my fucking everything, and it’s time she understood that, and hopefully, I can help ease her memories back while keeping her, Bailey and my club safe.
No fucking pressure or anything.