Chapter 28
Jules
As I walk home, my feet pounding against the pavement and reverberating up through my body, I can’t stop thinking about the look on Russell’s face.
People pass me on the sidewalk, dozens of faceless bodies a blur. Chicago towers around me, but I could be anywhere. I can’t see a thing as I walk but the sidewalk rolling under my feet like a treadmill, consistently moving.
Dejection. Refusal.
He won’t even consider doing the DNA test. What harm would it be? If he’s so sure there’s no chance that Gus is his, then why would he care about doing the test?
Unless he does think there’s a chance it could come back positive, and he doesn’t want to risk that.
My phone buzzes, and I glance at it to see a notification. A single email from Elemint’s HR department.
SUBJECT: Termination Details and Requirements (Elemint Public Relations and Branding)
From: sarah.hannen@
CC: peter.valdez@, quinn.white@, hr@
To: jules.harper@
Ms. Harper,
I am writing to inform you that your employment with Elemint Public Relations and Branding is effectively terminated following your behavior in the all-hands meeting today. As you know, catastrophe moments are precisely when we need level-headed decision-making, not infighting.
After conversations with both Peter Valdez and Quinn White, we’ve written a full report.
Despite apparent efforts from Mr. Valdez to remedy the situation, it has become evident that your behavior has not improved, and the negative impact on the company's operations and work environment is unacceptable.
Based on Elemint’s policies and the employment agreement you signed, we have determined that termination of your employment is the appropriate course of action.
Please return any and all equipment you currently possess, including laptops, tablets, and headsets. If you are in possession of any sensitive client documents, return them by Monday afternoon at the latest.
It would be in your best interest to take this as an opportunity to evaluate your actions and make necessary improvements. Elemint is wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.
Any outstanding compensation, including payment for accrued vacation days, will be processed according to Elemint’s standard procedures and will be provided to you in your final paycheck.
Should you have any questions regarding the termination process or the specific reasons for your termination, please contact Sheryl Montgomery in the HR department.
Sincerely,
Sarah Hannen, MBA
Public Relations Outreach Manager
Elemint Public Relations and Branding
So that’s it. I’m officially done at the firm.
I feel dizzy from the whiplash of it all.
HR worked fast, likely with Peter pushing them and filling them in on just how much I’ve sucked. The email says they talked to Quinn, too. I wonder if she told them she chased me out and finally offered to take me on her team, rather than lose me.
It doesn’t matter. It’s over.
Russell and I are done, too. After this morning, when he told me he wanted to invest in me, when he made me feel like this thing might be going somewhere real—somewhere that, up to ten minutes ago, I really wanted it to go—I’d felt like I was floating.
Now, I feel every single pound of weight on my body, pulling hard toward the ground as I walk, jolting my knees with each step. If it weren’t for the fact of my son back at my apartment, I could almost slow to a stop, sink down and lay down right on the concrete.
In fact, I’m so tied up in the feelings of complete and total dejection that I’m more than halfway back to my apartment when I realize I’m not supposed to be going home—I’m supposed to be going to the Christmas market, where I have to work an entire shift.
Turning on my heel, I startle another woman walking near me and don’t even spare time for an apologetic look. Instead, I plow down the street, brain numb, desperately trying not to replay that moment with Russell in my mind again and again.
He said he wanted me this morning.
But when it comes down to it, what a man says means nothing. It’s only behavior that really tells you who they are.
After everything happened with Dax, I remember thinking I was so stupid. That I should have known better, that I should have seen all the signs.
I’m not going to let it happen a second time. Maybe that woman in the park was really his sister, but Russell isn’t being completely open with me. Refusing to do the DNA test proves that.
By the time I get to the market—after fighting my way through the thick pedestrian traffic like a fish struggling to swim upstream—I’m an hour late, and I find Sienna at the booth, sweating under her knit jumper and glaring at me as she attempts to pack three candles at once.
There’s a line stretched out from the stand, and the table at the front is sparsely stocked.
I slip in, diving into the work, restocking the table and making my way down the line to ask for what people are interested in, bringing them samples so by the time they get to the front they’re ready to check out.
The work feels good, actually. A chance to occupy my mind with something other than how spectacularly horrible I feel.
Three hours later, when the crowd finally thins and Sienna and I have a chance to clean up, I realize she hasn’t said a word to me outside of that box, in here, or, right behind you for the entire three hours.
While working, I’d thought it was just the rush of packing and selling, but now I can feel the chilly anger rolling off her.
“Sienna—”
She whirls on me, the bracelets on her wrist clicking together as she points at me. Her black hair is pulled back haphazardly from her face, and she’s still flushed, her dark eyes flashing at me.
“I’ve been waiting for your apology this entire time,” she snaps, narrowing her eyes, “but now, I’m not actually sure I want to hear it.”
I sigh, rubbing at my eyes, “I am sorry, Sienna. It’s just been a long day. Russell—”
She lets out a strangled sound, setting down a bottle of oil with a little too much gusto. “Look, I get that he’s like, the dream man or whatever, but—seriously? You’re going to let a man make you be a bad friend?”
I stagger back like she’s hit me. Over the past five years, being a good friend is the only thing I’ve really had. Ettie and Sienna are my world, and without them, I’m not sure I would have made it through without a significant break-down.
And now, here Sienna is, calling me a bad friend.
Maybe she’s right.
I’m a bad friend.
In fact, I’m not entirely positive that I’ve been able to do anything right lately.
I finish breaking down the box in my hands, then I set it and the cutter down, turning and grabbing my coat.
“Wait, Jules—” Sienna says, her voice softening, but I can’t stay, can’t listen to her retract what she said just to make me feel better.
Maybe my parents were right. That by having Gus, by choosing the life I did, I would always be taking more from others than I’d ever be able to give.
Holding the tears at bay, and ignoring Sienna’s requests to come back, I hurry out of the Christmas village and into the cold, waiting until I’m sure she can’t see me to totally and completely break down.