Chapter 4
Four
WRYAN
PARIS, FRANCE
I stand in the airport, watching my mom walk away. She’s been so understanding, and she promised to let me tell my father and brother about the baby. When she joined me in Paris two weeks ago, she had no idea the bombshell I was about to drop on her. Initially, she was hurt that I’d waited so long to tell her. I needed time to come to terms with the news and build up the courage to share it with her. I didn’t expect it to take so long, though. Two months was plenty of time to put it all into perspective. Not just the baby, but the deranged fan, my new security protocols, all of it.
I spent the last couple of months writing and accepting the fact I’ll always carry a part of Tanner with me. I told my mother that I wasn’t going to talk about the father, and I only told her that a fan was giving me issues and broke into my hotel room. I left out the part about the paintball attack. I played up being heartbroken, and she forgot all about the fan. Instead, she was focused on her baby girl hurting.
In the end, my mom is excited but worried for me. She knows I have the means to support this baby, but she doesn’t want to see me do it alone. My mom didn’t like that I wasn’t going back with her, but I need to see a friend before I leave France. When I found out I was coming to Paris, I contacted my friend Lorelei. She’s been here for several months, but she’s been cagey about meeting up. I know she’s going through some things. She’s shared a bit with me. I check the time on my phone. She’s finally agreed to meet with me. I’m supposed to be at the café in about an hour.
The con here went well. I didn’t have any issues. I know a lot of that was thanks to Julian Black and his team at Andreason and Black Securities. Because of the attack in London, Paris was my last signing for a while. All my other European stops have been postponed. I’m upset that I’m letting my readers down, but I have no choice. I have to think of my safety and my child.
I’ve been staying at a hotel under another assumed name, and now I have a personal bodyguard. I glance over at my silent shadow, Shakespeare, who stands there watching everything. He doesn’t talk to me, and I know nothing about him. Normally, everything I do has to go through him, but I promised Lorelei I would keep our meeting a secret. She’s acting paranoid, and I’m worried about her.
I turn away when I can no longer see my mom and head toward the exit. Shakespeare falls into step behind me as I make my way to the valet line where our car is waiting. The only way I can meet Lorelei and protect everyone is to spring it on Shakespeare—he’s my driver too. He holds the door open for me, and as I start to get in, I turn to look up at the big guy.
“I have a meeting on Av de Suffren ,” I tell him.
His eyes crinkle, and his jaw tightens. “Ms. Westerbrook, you know we can’t do anything unless it’s planned.” He won’t call me by my first name.
“It was planned. I just didn’t tell you.” I cock my head and smile at him. “Sorry, but I have a friend who needs me. Please.” I almost push out my bottom lip in a pleading gesture. He shakes his head at me for a moment.
“Fine.” He huffs as he closes my door. “But I will stay close. Browser and Rogue still haven’t found your attacker.”
Andreason and Black Securities is working with other agencies to help find this crazed fan. They’ve accessed all my accounts and social media to look for this person. I started receiving hate mail through my publisher and Cortney’s office. Cortney headed back to the States after the con as there was no need for her to stick around.
I brush my hand through Eddie’s fur as I look out the window. Shakespeare pulls into a parking lot a short distance from the café. I wait until he opens my door and let Eddie out first. Eddie grumbles at Shakespeare. They don’t really care for each other. It’s been a fun challenge trying to get them to get along.
As we approach, I spot Lorelei sitting and waiting for me. When she sees me and stands, I notice her condition. Just like me, she’s pregnant too. But she is obviously further along than I am.
“Lorelei.” I rush to her, and we hug. “How far along are you?” I ask when I step back.
“Thirty-nine weeks. He could come at any time now.”
We sit down and talk. I don’t ask the important questions because I have a feeling I know who the father is, and it angers me.
“I’m pregnant too. I’m only ten weeks along.”
“And the father?” She nods toward Shakespeare, and I can’t stop the belly laugh that overtakes me.
“No. He’s not the father. He’s my bodyguard. The baby’s father isn’t in the picture.” I pause and take a deep breath. Every time I think of Tanner, my heart hurts a little bit. “He was a one-night stand. I don’t even know his last name.”
“Why do you have a bodyguard?” Lorelei sits up in her chair and glances around.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Some fan crossed the line.”
“Ms. Westerbrook, they threatened your life and destroyed property,” Shakespeare says from the table behind us.
“If you’re going to eavesdrop, Shakespeare, come have a seat.” I push out the chair beside me, and he moves to join us.
I watch as he holds out a hand to Lorelei. “You can call me Shakespeare. I work for Andreason and Black Securities.”
“Wow, that’s more than he says to me.” I chuckle.
We spend the next hour chatting and catching up. Shakespeare even joins in on the conversation.
“I hate to do this, but we need to get back to our hotel, and I need to figure out where I’m going to stay next,” I say as I pull the check off the corner of the table.
“I have a three-bedroom place I’m staying in. It’s my grandparents’ place.” She fidgets with the maternity dress she’s wearing. “You’re welcome to stay with me. I mean, if you want to.”
I can’t stop myself. This isn’t the Lorelei I grew up with. I grab her hand and squeeze it. “We’d love to.” I hear a groan come from Shakespeare, but I don’t care. Lorelei needs us. She needs someone with her. She’s completely alone.
“I’ll have Browser and Rogue check it out. Whose name is it under?” Shakespeare asks.
Lorelei gives him all the information he needs before we head back to our car. We return to the hotel to gather our luggage and await the all-clear from the security team. Once everything checks out, we make our way to the condo where Lorelei is staying.
Two weeks after we moved in, Colby was born. I’m glad we were with her. Lorelei was heartbroken afterward and is still in a bit of a funk. She misses her family and the baby’s father, who really did a number on her.
I look at my screen as I click “publish” on the self-published novel I’ve written under a new pen name. Just like that, Elary Tanner is born and has released her first book. I didn’t consult my agent before I did it, but I made sure I could do it without breaching my contract with the publishing company. The story comes from my heart and captures my memories of that night with Tanner. It’s an erotic romance with some BDSM elements, just like we explored together. But in my story, I gave them a happy ending, something I don’t see for myself and Tanner.
Now I switch gears and work on the book for the publishing company that I promised to complete next. With Eminem playing through my headphones, I concentrate on the screen in front of me. My character is fighting a rapist in the fictional metropolis I’ve created. I can’t help but think of my attacker and what I would do to him if I had her superpowers. I can fight—my brother and father made sure of that—but it’s going to become too hard for me soon. My character isn’t pregnant, but she wants vengeance because a friend of hers was raped by this man.
I’m twenty-three weeks into my pregnancy, and it’s obvious. I look like I’m carrying a perfect basketball under my shirt. I’ve found a local doctor, but I still work with Dr. Harker via video chat. She’s returned to the States and settled in my hometown of Eastport, where her brother moved. She wants me to come back too. There is concern that as I get further along, my body might start having issues. I wear the belly band she recommended, and so far, my heart has been good. I haven’t fainted since I was attacked, and I’m almost off all the medications I was on before the pregnancy.
I have tickets to fly home next week, and Shakespeare is coming with me. Before I leave, I plan to video chat with my family to tell my brother and father about my pregnancy. It’s time. Plus, it will take the pressure off of my mom. She has almost slipped numerous times and told them. She’s excited about being a grandma and that I’m having a little girl for her to spoil. I’m planning to rent an apartment for a bit until I find the perfect house for us. I’m also meeting with Andreason and Black Securities to discuss searching for Tanner. He should know he has a child. I don’t need money from him, but if he wants to be a part of our daughter’s life, he has that right.
I still don’t know how I’ll tell him. I’m so lost in my head, thinking of Tanner and what our baby will look like and miss out on without him in her life, that my hands hover over the keys. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eddie stand up, and I turn around to find Shakespeare standing behind me.
Slipping off my headphones, I stand from the small desk and stretch my back. I’m wearing the pullover shirt I stole from Tanner and a pair of pajama pants, the waistband resting comfortably under my belly. I need to go shopping for more maternity clothes. Lorelei could use a day out too. Shakespeare and I get her out of the house daily for walks, but she needs to start thinking about the future.
“You shouldn’t stay seated for so long,” Shakespeare says in his gruff voice.
“I know. I just hit publish and then started working on my next project.” I’m excited for this new venture.
I know that since I’m new to self-publishing, my book might not take off, but I’ve learned a lot from working with Cortney on my other books. I plan to have my primary pen name do a review of this new story to help with promotions. I’ve also hired a PR company and included an acknowledgement to my main pen name for designing the cover. It should help give my book a good boost.
“Cool. I think we need to contact the office and talk to them about the baby daddy.” He nods toward my stomach. I rub my palm across it, and she kicks my hand.
“I’ve set up an appointment to meet with the owners when we get home. Dr. Harker wants to see me first thing, and then I have the paramedic family barbecue that J.D. wants me to go to.”
He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the curls and making them stand on end. “I understand those are all important, but we have a connection in New York. Is there any way we can stay a couple of days and try to find him? Browser can start searching now.” He looks at me, determination etched on his face.
I shake my head at him, not wanting to have this argument again. I wish we could go back to the days when he barely spoke to me. Now he’s inserted himself into my life as if he’s a big brother—or something more. I notice the way he looks at me, but I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in a relationship. I still have feelings for the man who got me pregnant.
“I appreciate your concern, Dax,” I say. Ever since I learned his real name, I use it when I’m frustrated with him. “But this isn’t a part of your job description. I’ll tell him when I’m ready and not a moment sooner.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies, and turns toward the door.
Guilt washes over me for talking to him that way. I rush after him and grab his arm. He stops and looks down at where my hand rests.
“I’m sorry. Thank you for your concern. I’ll take it into consideration. I’m just scared.”
He pats my hand, and a part of me wishes I had feelings for this man instead. He’s a stand-up guy and actually very handsome, but he isn’t Tanner. I made sure not to give him Tanner’s name because I know he’d start looking on his own if he had it. I see the emotions flicker in his eyes, and I know he cares for me. I bite my top lip when tears start to form in my own eyes. He turns to face me and gently brushes his hand across my stomach.
“I’ll always be there for you and baby girl. I know you don’t care for me like that, but never fear. If he’s an idiot, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. For a fleeting moment, I feel something, but I quickly realize it’s just the memory of Tanner doing the same thing.
When I open my eyes, he’s gone. I turn back to the room and climb into bed, where I cry myself to sleep.