Chapter 18 #2
Luca laughs. “Right. Sure. Then who will carry on your legacy?” Luca gives me a big once-over.
“You’re missing someone. Where’s the stunning Ellery?
I thought for sure she’d be here with how Stella and Layla were telling Sophia about their grand cooking plans for this week with her and how beautiful she looked tonight going on her date. I guess that date isn’t you.”
I give him my best fuck you face.
“Ellery?” my mother questions, her face lighting up like a bloodhound catching a scent. “Is this the woman Stella has been going on about? Her teacher who cooks with her?”
“That’s her,” Luca confirms. “Only she’s so much more than that. Isn’t she, Lan?”
I scratch my nose with my middle finger since my mother is looking at him and not me.
“What is this?” my father jumps in.
“It’s nothing,” I answer with finality in my voice, hoping to shut this down now. “She’s my neighbor and Stella’s teacher, and Stella has taken a shine to her. That’s all.”
“Is it, though?”
Goddamn him. I glare. “Will Raven be joining us tonight?”
My father chuckles, and my mother makes a tsking sound in the back of her throat. “Not this again.”
“Except if Luca has his way, it will never end.”
“You promised you weren’t bothering her, Luca.”
“ Bothering her ? I’m not.”
My mother makes another sound. “She’s been through enough thanks to you. When will you leave that poor girl alone?”
“Never,” Luca states simply. “Now, how about that drink, Dad? The good stuff before dinner, and I’ll tell you everything Landon refuses.”
“I’m going to go check on the girls. Make sure they’re not getting into too much trouble with Sophia in the kitchen.” My mother offers me a sly wink as she saunters off in the opposite direction from us as we head toward my father’s study on the other side of the house.
“She’s not going to let that go,” I grumble.
“No. She’s not,” my dad agrees as he shuts the door behind us. “Nicely done, Luca. If you want a free shot at him, Landon, I’ll pour the bourbon with my back to you both.”
“Sounds fair.” Without warning, I jab out, hitting Luca in the arm.
Hard. Harder than I typically would. I don’t go for the gut, and I definitely don’t go for the face, though I’m tempted on both.
Right now, I’d like nothing more than to unleash this pent-up fury on a punching bag, but I’d rather not send my brother to the hospital before dinner.
“Twat, that hurt.” Luca rubs his shoulder. “If I didn’t have surgery Monday morning, I’d hit you back.”
I accept a glass from my father. Vodka with a splash of lime and three ice cubes. My father’s bar in his office is fully stocked, including an icemaker. Luca gets his favorite bourbon, and my dad sips the same.
“No, you wouldn’t,” my father cuts him off, guiding us over to the leather couches and chairs in his sitting area. “You pulled a move, and you know it.”
Luca smirks as he sits in the chair opposite me and my father, who took the couch. “A move? No. A ploy? Yes. Absolutely.”
I close my eyes as I take a sip of my drink.
It’s smooth and sour with a small bite on the end, just how I like it.
Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about her.
But it’s all about her. All the time. Even today, during my good day, I had to fight against the lure of thinking about her. Wondering what she was doing.
What is it about her when it hasn’t been any others?
“Not tonight, Luca.”
“And not tomorrow or the night after or the year after,” he snaps sardonically. “But you look like shit. Like a man strung out on a woman while pretending the opposite. I should know. I perfected the art.”
That’s because I am.
“Are you done yet?”
“It’s time, old man. It’s time to live a little, and I don’t just mean your occasional hookups. Roll the dice, play a hand, and see what happens.”
“So says the man chasing after the woman whose heart he broke,” I comment in a bored tone, though I’m clutching the tumbler so tight I’m shocked the crystal isn’t shattering.
“Yes. Exactly.”
“What is all this?” my father presses as I sigh deeply.
“Landon met his match. Well, his second match. He slept with her before knowing who she was.”
“I’m not sure what that means. Who she was. Is that code for gold digger?”
“No,” Luca answers. “That’s code for Stella’s teacher and his new neighbor.
And his match since she’s that too. She doesn’t take his shit or mine.
It’s awesome. Plus, he mentions her, Dad.
I’m not even sure he realizes it, but whenever we talk on the phone or even text, he always drops her name somewhere in the conversation. ”
“No, I don’t.” Do I?
“You’ve met her, Luca?”
“Yup. Super hot. Smokin’ body. Small, but perky tits. Just how Landon likes them. Great ass too.”
“Shut up about her, Luca,” I grumble under my breath. I’d throw my glass at him if it weren’t such a waste of much-needed alcohol.
He ignores me. “Plus, she’s smart as hell, not to mention sarcastically funny. She totally ripped both of us apart without even batting an eye. She’s perfect for him, Dad.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I snap. “Stop. I don’t want to talk about her. You only met her once for ten minutes. There’s no way you can know any of this.”
Again, I’m ignored.
“The cherry is that Stella is in love with her. I only wish she had come around sooner. This woman has our poor Landon just a touch more than infatuated with her. And struggling with it, as you can see.”
I open my eyes to find my brother waving his hand in my direction.
I don’t even bother to deny any of it. Likely because of the company and anything I say will stay here in this room. “My infatuation with her will pass.”
“And Stella’s?”
I glance at my father. “Hers’ too. The woman will grow tired of pandering to a thirteen-year-old and move on. She’s a renter. A brand-new teacher. The fact that she’s Stella’s teacher right there means nothing can happen.”
“Single?”
“Just divorced from David Chambers.” I don’t tell them he was verbally abusive to her because it’s not my story to tell. It’s Elle’s, and I won’t betray what we shared last week.
“The golfer?”
I nod.
My father leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he rubs his chin, thinking. “And she’s Stella’s teacher?”
“Yes.”
“And teaches her to cook too? And you already slept with her before knowing all this? Interesting.”
“Not really. Are we done yet?”
My father and Luca stare at each other, still ignoring me. “I didn’t realize this was the same woman Stella’s been telling us about. I also didn’t realize it was the same woman you slept with.”
“Mystery solved. Now we can all move on with our lives.”
Except the two of them have a silent conversation, and I don’t like where this is headed. In fact, it makes me stand up off the couch, needing to head for the door.
“What’s the worst that can happen if you try with her, Landon?” my father calls out just as my hand hits the knob. “You fall in love with her? She falls in love with you?”
“Yes,” I answer easily because it’s true. My head falls, my eyes closing, my chest clenching so tight I can hardly draw in air.
“Sounds awful,” Luca deadpans. “All that being happy and in love stuff.”
“It’s not that easy, and you know it.”
“No. I don’t know it. Couples fight and guilt is a motherfucker.
I’ve said this a hundred times before to you, brother, but I’m saying it again now because I think now more than ever you need to hear it.
You loved Reese with your whole heart and would have never intentionally hurt a hair on her head.
The road was icy. You didn’t make it that way.
What happened to her was a tragic accident.
An accident . You would have died in her place a thousand times over and no one, including Stella, questions that. ”
“Shut up, Luca.” I spin around, practically snarling at him. He can say whatever he wants, but it doesn’t change the fact that Reese is dead because I yelled and told her to go.
“He’s right, Landon. You know he is. You made mistakes.
We all make mistakes because to be human is to error.
But at some point, you have to forgive yourself and move on.
Not just for you, but for Stella. She loves you, and we love you.
But her happiness is so interconnected to yours.
Why do you think she’s latching onto this woman so tightly? A woman she’s only known a month?”
I know why. I just can’t bring myself to think it.
“You deserve happiness,” he continues. “You deserve it all and so does Stella. The only one who blames you for Reese is you. Do you hear what I’m saying?
Not Stella or any of us. Forgive yourself, Landon .
And after you try that, maybe you should also try saying fuck it and give it a shot with this woman.
Don’t let her become another regret. Forget the fact that she’s Stella’s teacher. That can be figured out.”
I picture Elle with that guy tonight. The one whose hands I wanted to break for touching her.
Whose face I wanted to bloody for smiling at her the way he was.
With interest and intent. This possessive kill-anyone-who-touches-what’s-mine thing is new for me.
A bit unsettling at that, but there all the same.
Refusing to be denied. No matter how hard I try, I can’t suppress my fixation with her.
Which means I either continue to make a futile attempt at pushing it away and eventually grow more insane than I already am.
Or I do what my brother and father suggest.
Is that possible for me? Can I forgive myself for what happened with Reese? Can I actually say fuck it and see what happens?