Chapter 4 Winston
WINSTON
I feel ridiculous talking into a phone. Nothing has felt more unnatural in my entire life. Medical school was easier than this.
“You sound so robotic, Dr. Warrick. Loosen up a little. Relax. Enjoy the attention,” Olivia says from behind the camera.
“That’s easy for you to say.” I wipe the sweat off my forehead, exhausted from surgery, and I’m still in my scrubs.
“You aren’t the one making a life-changing announcement to the world.
And you don’t look like you were just in a seven-hour surgery.
” A burning sensation begins to tingle my eyes from being awake for so long. My back aches.
Everything aches.
I’m not as young as I used to be. I’ve been thinking about scaling back on surgeries and only taking the high-profile cases.
I’ll focus on research, running the department, and training the next generation of surgeons.
I still have a few good years left in me, but I’m not cocky enough to believe this is something I can do forever.
Everything and everyone has a time limit.
Olivia drops the camera and sighs. “You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. You’re a doctor. You just got out of surgery. You look natural. You don’t want it to feel forced. And don’t think you’re talking to everyone, act like you’re speaking to her.”
She’s in front of me in two strides, dabbing the sweat off my forehead with a tissue.
“You’re one of the best surgeons in the world and you’re going to sit here and tell me that you can talk to a room full of a thousand people but you can’t talk to a camera?
She might be on the other end of this video.
And honestly, if this were any other video, you wouldn’t even have to say anything.
I could take a five-second video of you looking out the window and let the sun capture that jawline and you’d go viral.
” Olivia rolls her eyes at me, something she does multiple times a day.
“Fine,” I grumble, disliking the rate at which my heartbeat increases due to nerves.
I picture Dove’s face, her smile, and her laugh. I close my eyes, letting my memories take me back to that warm Costa Rican night. The phantom touch of her fingers drifts down my shoulders, her gasps a ghost breezing against my ear.
I relax.
My shoulders ease as I blow out a breath.
“Okay. I’m ready. This will be the one.”
Olivia brightens and runs to her position, lifting up my cell phone to aim it at my face. “That’s the spirit. You’re going to be so famous after this.”
“Stop smiling so much. This is a one-time thing,” I tell her. “I don’t want fame. I only want Dove. Even if she’s moved on or has found someone else. I need to know.”
Olivia lowers the phone a bit, a sad smile playing on her lips. “You really care about this woman, don’t you? You really fell in love with her.”
“I’m crazy about her. She’s taken a toll on me. I need to know where she is, if she’s okay, if she needs help, or I don’t know—” I run my fingers through my hair, knowing I’m messing the strands up more than they were before. “I just need to find her, Olivia. That’s all. That’s the point.”
She nods. “And we will, but it might take more than one video. We can do ‘Day One of Looking For The Love Of My Life’ or something like that. People will follow and might connect you to her. We have to try, okay? Whatever it takes.”
I sit on the windowsill, blowing out a large breath, and I nod. “Whatever it takes.”
Olivia lifts the camera up again, lifts three fingers in the air, and counts down.
Three.
Two.
One.
“Hi, everyone. Doctor Silver Fox here.” I flash a smile.
“I want to add I did not make that username. You can thank my assistant for that. I’m not here to give any medical advice.
That’s not what this account will be for.
I’m looking for someone. Her name is Dove, and I met her in Costa Rica.
She has long black hair, blue eyes, and has this voice that’s as soft and delicate as silk.
The way she smiles lights up a room and I’ve never laughed so much as I did that night.
I’ve been searching for Dove for eight months.
I’ve pretty much used all my resources, which is why I’m here. Asking you. The internet. To help me.”
I scratch the side of my cheek, wondering if I’m doing the right thing. What if she thinks I’m obsessive and this is all too much? One night. That’s all it was supposed to be. That’s what she wanted. Am I going against what we agreed upon?
I don’t care. I want to show her I want more and that I don’t care about the age gap. I’m not a complete idiot. I know I’m older by at least fifteen years. As long as she isn’t bothered by it, then it doesn’t matter.
“She’s one of kind, and I’d hate for us to miss our opportunity for more. Dove, if you’re listening, message this account please. Let’s talk, and if you want nothing to do with me, then I’ll leave you alone. Thanks everyone, and Dove, I really hope I hear from you soon.”
Olivia drops the phone and smiles so wide, I can nearly see all of her teeth. “That was perfect, Dr. Warrick. I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but I’m sure so many people are going to claim to be Dove in comments and messages. You’ll need to be careful.”
“I’m forty-five, Olivia. I’m not a complete idiot. I do remember what she looks like.”
“A lot of people don’t use an image of themselves on their profile. I don’t want you to get tricked. We need to stay vigilant.”
I give Olivia a lazy two-finger salute. “You got it.” I yawn, stretching my arms above my head. “Is there anything else on the calendar today? I have to go meet my family for dinner.”
“You’re in the clear. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr. Warrick. Do you want me to manage the social media account?”
I pluck my phone from her sneaky fingers, not trusting her not to go rogue. “No. I’m good. I’m a big boy, Olivia. I can handle this app.”
She blinks a little too fast for my liking.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“What? No. What? Nothing. Not a thing. I’m going to go return a few calls before calling it a day.” She spins around on her heel and takes one step before my hand is on her shoulders.
“Olivia.” I deepen her name in the type of way that forces her to stop. “Talk to me.”
She exhales heavily. “Just don’t scroll, okay? You’re going to see a lot of misinformation. It can consume you. If you let it.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll be fine. I don’t have time to scroll social media like that. I’m exhausted and I have to be here early tomorrow for another surgery. After the dinner with my family tonight, I won’t have the energy to scroll.”
“Mm-hmm.” She clearly doesn’t believe me. “That’s what they all say and then suddenly, bam!” Olivia smashes her fist on my desk, and my pen holder falls over, scattering the pens everywhere.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, wanting this conversation to end so I can leave.
“And then, you’re doomscrolling, watching videos that you would never watch. You’d probably get hooked on the medical ones where people spew false medical information. Mine are animal videos. So. Many. Animal. Videos.” Olivia zones out, unblinking.
I snap my fingers. “Olivia. Focus. Hey.”
She blinks away from her thoughts and grins at me. “Just be careful.”
“You are so weird.” I chuckle. “The office would be boring without you. I’m going to shower. If you don’t mind.” I open the door, gesturing for her to leave.
Since I’m the chief of surgery, I have my own personal bathroom attached to my office.
It’s simple. There’s a walk-in shower, sink, and toilet.
The sofa in my office also pulls out to a full-size bed.
When double shifts happen and they need every doctor here, this office becomes a safe haven for me.
A quick shower and nap helps me get through those shifts that never seem to end.
“Right. Of course. Sorry, Dr. Warrick. I didn’t mean to keep you.” She gathers her belongings, keeping her eyes shifted down.
“Olivia. I’m not upset with you at all, okay? I only need some privacy so I can go to dinner without my mother giving me grief about how awful I stink because I didn’t take the time to shower.”
Finally, a grin replaces Olivia’s frown. “I understand. I’ll see you later.” She closes the door behind her and I rub my temples as the pounding of a headache begins.
I close the blinds, the room darkening from the lack of light, and I lock the door.
Tugging my scrubs off, I toss them in the small linen hamper I have to take home to wash.
Opening the bathroom door, I kick the scrub bottoms off along with my briefs, then flip on the shower.
It always takes a few minutes to warm up.
I’ve made the mistake of getting in the shower right as I turn it on too many times.
Typically, it happens on the days that blur together, when I don’t remember that I’ll freeze if I don’t wait a few minutes.
I grip the sink’s edges, hanging my head as I let the day roll off me.
I take a few deep breaths, replaying every move I made in the surgery.
I always do. I obsess over every cut before, during, and after.
If I think for one moment that I made a mistake, I’ll do everything in my power to make it right.
The tension in my neck and shoulders drains the longer I stretch the muscles, breathing in and out to calm myself.
I know if I had one touch from Dove, my soul would be at peace. I don’t know what power this woman holds over me, but she has made the biggest impact. I can’t stop thinking about her. I have to find her.
I have to.
When the steam begins to fog the mirror, I step into the shower and let the hot water roll over my tight muscles. I lean one hand against the wall, dropping my head to allow the water to beat down on my back. Closing my eyes, I think back to the night I met Dove.