Chapter 10 Dove
DOVE
I blink my eyes to clear the sway of my vision.
My throat hurts and there’s discomfort in my abdomen.
I wince when I try to move, something soft giving under my body.
I turn my head, keeping my eyes halfway closed when the light pouring in from the windows blinds me.
The more I get my bearings back, the more my mind begins to piece memories together.
My hand falls to my stomach and I groan when I feel stitches. My stomach isn’t as round as it used to be. It hits me what happened and my eyes open fully, fear clinging to my heart when I realize my child isn’t safe inside me.
“My baby?” I rasp with watery eyes. “Where’s my baby?”
I cough, whimpering when pain shoots across my stomach.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. He’s okay. We’ve been waiting for you, that’s all.” A deep masculine voice soothes my panic.
Turning my head, my vision focuses to see Winston, the last person I expected to see. “Winston? What…what are you doing here? Where is he? It’s a boy?”
I didn’t know if the baby was a girl or boy. I had plenty of opportunities to find out during all the doctor appointments, but knowing the sex never mattered to me. I only cared if he or she was healthy.
Winston chuckles, lowering our son into my arms.
Oh my.
I never want to let him go.
“He’s beautiful.” Emotion grips my chest and tears begin to burn my eyes.
“He’s so perfect. Look at his chubby cheeks.
He’s bigger than I thought he would be.” I rub a finger down one of those plump cheeks and he wiggles, yawning from the sheer exhaustion of existing.
“Oh, I know. It’s so tiring out here in the world, but it’s okay, we won’t let anything happen to you. ”
“We?” Winston takes a seat on the edge of the hospital bed, his arm stretching behind my head. He leans close so he can see his son’s face. “I didn’t want to assume anything. If he was mine or not, but you’re saying he is?” His voice sways and cracks.
I look up at the man I never thought I’d see again and smile. “Yes, he is yours. I tried looking for you to tell you.”
“I tried looking for you too.” Winston tucks my hair behind my ear. “I hired a private investigator and he was useless. I made videos—”
I cut him off. “I know.” I grunt when another wave of pain hits.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to get the doctor?”
“Aren’t you a doctor? Doctor Silver Fox.”
He groans, tilting his head back. “Don’t get me started. My assistant made that name. Wait a minute.” Winston stares me. “You saw the videos and you still didn’t reach out? But you said you were looking for me?”
The guilt twists in my gut. “You deserved to know about the baby. I wanted to let you know before he was born. I’d lost all hope finding you and then I saw your videos.
I’m ashamed to admit that I got scared when I saw you were looking for me.
I got into my own head, you know? This woman you met in Costa Rica is pregnant, which is something you didn’t sign up for.
I had an entire speech planned out. I was going to give you an out. ”
“An out?” he growls, clearly displeased. “Why would I want an out?”
I lift a shoulder, unable to take my eyes away from the beautiful life we created together so unexpectedly.
“Come on, Winston. It’s obvious. Our age difference?
You probably have adult children by now and why would you want to start all over again?
And I’m not that woman you met in Costa Rica.
I forced myself to be bold and brave, but really, I’m not bold or brave.
I’m not this flirtatious person. I’m a bit of a mess, honestly.
I work for a terrible person who sucks the life out of me.
It’s hard for me to ask for help. I’m afraid that the idea you had of me is skewed.
You’re going to be disappointed, so you might as well walk out the door now.
You don’t have to be part of his life. I’m giving you an out. ”
I wipe the tear that escapes off my left cheek.
Winston’s fingers skim under my chin, lifting my head so I have no choice but to look at him.
“I want to make this crystal clear, okay? I don’t have children.
I’ve never been married. My work, my career goals took a lot of my time, and I thought I had missed that opportunity.
I’m the oldest out of my brothers, and adopted, yet my parents are still naming me the heir of the company.
They never cared I didn’t share their blood.
I owe everything to them, so I worked so hard to be ready for when they want to pass the torch to me.
That meant sacrifices. It meant making my job my life.
I was okay with that. I made peace that my brothers were going to be the ones to have the wives and kids. ”
He runs his fingers through my hair as he explains himself.
“You’re the only one I want, and you couldn’t be more wrong about not being the woman you were in Costa Rica.
I’m not the same guy. Both of us threw caution to the wind that night.
We both knew what we wanted. That doesn’t mean we aren’t the same people. ” He bends down and kisses my forehead.
“And as for you thinking you aren’t brave or bold…
” He scoffs, cupping his hand over our son’s head.
“You gave birth on an airplane, surrounded by people you didn’t know, survived a life-threatening hemorrhage, and lived.
Being brave and bold is more than stepping out of your comfort zone to flirt with a stranger.
It’s moments like this one, Dove. It’s being thirty thousand feet in the air, being so afraid, being in so much pain, and trusting people you didn’t know.
That speaks volumes about your bravery.”
“I had to. I didn’t have a choice,” I explain, pointing out the obvious.
“Yes, you did. You could have told everyone to go to hell and you could have birthed that baby alone if you wanted to.” His fingers slip down my arm and goose bumps arise on my skin.
“I want you, Dove. You’re the only one I’ve wanted since that night.
You’ve consumed my mind. My thoughts are no longer my own, as you control them.
I’ve ached for you in ways that are dangerous to the heart.
I don’t care about our age difference. I’m forty-five years old and I didn’t feel like I started living my life until the moment I met you. ”
I can’t stop the tears running down my face.
He’s saying all the right words. All the words I’ve dreamed about hearing all these months, he says so easily.
I thought it would take more time for us to get to know one another.
I’m surprised how easy our connection is, and how organic it is for us to fall into one another and say the hell with the rest.
“I’m twenty-five. Are you sure that doesn’t bother you? We are twenty years apart. Your family will be horrified.”
“Will your family be horrified?” he asks.
I furrow my brows together at the absurd question. “Why would they be?”
“Because I’m twenty years older than you. I could be your father, Love Dove,” he says, spilling the nickname seemingly without thinking.
I don’t want to ask him if he meant to say it. He did and I’m going to relish in it. “But you’re not,” I whisper as he leans in closer to me.
My eyes fall to his lips. Lips that have been haunting my dreams since the night I got to feel them against mine.
“My family won’t care,” I tell him. “They only want to see me happy.”
His gaze falls to my lips in return, the same want and need shining in his eyes as the day we met. “Then, I don’t see what the issue is. If you’re happy, if I’m happy, then that’s all that matters.”
Suddenly, I feel very seen. I know I don’t look the best since I just gave birth and had surgery. I glance away from Winston’s handsome face and stare at our son.
“Look at me,” he orders.
I shake my head, not wanting him to see me like this—vulnerable and exhausted. He’s seeing me at my worst, and we really don’t know each other very well.
“Love Dove.” His fingers grip my chin and with a stern pull, he has me turn my head to look at me. “There are those beautiful eyes that I’ve been dying to see up close and in person again.”
I blink away the tears, loving how good his touch feels, even if it’s an innocent one.
He leans down, his thumb pressing against my bottom lip. “You’re more beautiful than I remember,” he whispers. “I knew you were gorgeous, but you are without a doubt, the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.”
My cheeks flame. A small giggle slips free and I fan my face in hopes the redness isn’t too noticeable.
“What is it, Dove?”
“No one has ever spoken to me like that before. That’s all. And I know I look a little rough right now—”
He places one finger over my lips to silence me and I wait for him to speak, wondering why he wouldn’t let me finish the sentence.
“Look at our son, Dove. He’s healthy. You went through hell to bring him here.
You fought even harder to survive so you were here for him.
You’re more beautiful now than I have ever seen you because of those reasons.
You brought my son into this world. There’s nothing you could say or do that would make me view you as anything less than beautiful.
” He bends down, ending the space between us.
His lips meet mine in a burst of confidence, yet sweet and gentle given the circumstance. His hand cups my jaw, his thumb brushing the apple of my cheek. The worry, the anxiety, it all begins to fade. My heart is at ease. My mind is at peace. My body is relaxed. And my soul?
It’s claimed.
This is how it feels to be found when my spirit has been searching for safety for far too long.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
The doctor’s voice has me pulling away from Winston, blushing even harder, if that’s possible. Winston isn’t done. He kisses my cheek, the top of my head, then takes one of my hands and kisses my knuckles before intertwining his fingers with mine.