Chapter 17 Winston
WINSTON
Six weeks later…
Ever since we came home from the conference six weeks ago, Dove has been riddled with sadness.
She’s been an amazing mom to baby Winston.
Spending these last six weeks with her has been a whirlwind.
Granted, the house is a wreck and both of us are running on about six hours of sleep in the last two days, and I can’t remember the last time we had an actual meal, but I wouldn’t ask for my life to be any different.
But even with the happiness surrounding us, there’s a lingering sadness inside her. She doesn’t always let what’s bothering her show on her face, but since I’ve fallen in love with Dove, I’ve come to learn what she cares about most.
Me, our son, her family, and as much as I hate it—Hanson.
Her best friend since the beginning of fucking time.
I’m not threatened, but I also won’t allow him to hurt her.
She checks her phone constantly for his texts or calls.
Her parents haven’t heard from him either.
It’s as if he has completely ghosted her.
And I won’t allow that to happen.
Snagging the caramel latte I made for her, I walk out of the expansive kitchen with a view of downtown New York City.
It’s early morning and the fog has settled over the Atlantic, the sun peeking through the overcast for a moment.
The house is quiet. The only sound is the running water of the shower upstairs.
Baby Winston is asleep and Dove is taking a hot shower to get ready for her appointment with Dr. Leighton to see if she’s cleared for work.
And sexual activity.
But I don’t want her to be rushed. I’ll be ready when she is. Her body went through a massive trauma and even if she’s ready physically, maybe she won’t be mentally. No matter what, I’m here for her, and I want her more than my next breath. That won’t ever change.
I pause at the bottom of the staircase and look around my house, wondering if it’s too sterile for us. Dove needs to add her touch. The floors are white tile, the walls are white, even the stairs are white. They have gold trim on the edge, but that’s the only pop of color.
How did I not notice how cold my home is?
Before Dove, I was only existing, and now since I have her in my life, she brings vibrance to my everyday life. I want our home to reflect that.
Climbing up the steps, I’m careful not to spill her latte, and when I get to the top, I flip the hallway light on to illuminate a long plain hallway.
The walls have art on them, but it reminds me of the hallways at the hospital.
I can’t have my family think they’re surrounded by medicine when I come home.
Everything needs to change. The walls need painted.
We need family photos. We need new furniture.
Even my bedframe is boring and plain because I’m never here. The hospital is my life.
Not anymore, though.
I peek into Winston’s nursery to check on him.
It’s the only room in the house that has any type of life in it.
The walls are painted a light green and cartoon dinosaurs are painted on every wall.
Pressing my hand against his chest, I let out a long breath when I feel his little body rise and fall.
I can’t count how often I do this every day.
I have to make sure he’s okay. I can’t go a day without knowing he’s okay.
“I love you so much,” I whisper to him, low enough to not wake him, but I hope he can hear me.
“You’re such a good dad.”
I turn to see Dove standing in the doorway in a thick fluffy robe, towel drying her hair.
She looks so beautiful. She’s feeling so much better since the plane, the surgery, and the conference.
She’s so strong, and she can’t even see how amazing she is.
That’s okay. I’ll remind her every day for the rest of my life.
“Hey, Love Dove.” I stroll over to her, kissing her cheek before handing her the latte.
“How are you doing today?” Tucking a piece of her wet hair behind her ear, my gaze drifts over her face, wanting to see every inch of her natural beauty.
Her eyes are so blue, they remind me of the sky on a cloudless day.
“I feel amazing and more like myself. I’m nervous to know what Dr. Leighton will say. If I’m ready to work or—” She hooks her fingers in the waistband of my sweatpants, rubbing her hand back and forth across my skin.
My body reacts. My skin reacts in a million goose bumps, my cock coming to life quicker than it ever has. I grab the mug from her and set it on the small table, pushing her against the wall and grabbing her throat as I lock my sights on her lips.
“You’re playing with fire, Dove. We have to be careful until your doctor says otherwise.”
She sinks her hand further, wrapping her lithe fingers around my cock. I moan, my knees buckling from how fucking good she feels. I haven’t touched myself in so long. She couldn’t, so why should I? I wanted to save every drop of cum for her because I’m ready to fill her up all over again.
I growl, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her plump bottom lip that’s begging to be kissed by how she keeps flicking her tongue across it.
Unable to resist any longer, I crash my lips against hers, needing to feel her against me just this once. My body is on fire. My skin is sensitive and burning for her touch.
“I need you so much,” she moans, breaking our kiss to take a sharp breath as our bodies become needier for one another.
I hook her leg over my hip, wanting her to feel the hard length of my cock pressed against her clit.
“Fuck,” I moan, sucking her lip into my mouth. “We can’t. We can’t.” I pull away from her, chest heaving to catch a breath.
But the robe’s belt isn’t tied tight enough and it unravels, showing off the perfect curves of her body. Her hips are wider from pregnancy, her breasts fuller with milk, and there isn’t one part of her new body that I don’t want to ravage.
“We can’t,” I sneer between tight teeth, smashing my lips against hers once again.
I’m unable to control myself.
No penetration. No sex. We can do that, but I need to feel her against me. I’m fucking desperate for her touch.
Her nails rake down my back and all I hope is that she’s left her mark on me.
“Winston,” she moans, just like she did that night in Costa Rica.
I grab her leg again, wrapping it around my hip so I can settle between her legs.
“Fuck, you feel so goddamn good. I’m trying so hard not to flip you around and fuck you.
You make it so hard to be good when you have a body like this.
” My palms skim down her sides, then grip the full round globes of her ass.
Our kiss becomes frantic, messy, our tongues twirling around one another to steal the taste that only belongs to us. I begin to rock, my body answering the call of hers, and the thick, flared tip of my cock brushes over her clit.
Dove’s cries are loud and I have to cover her mouth with my hand. “Shhh, you’ll wake him up. Do you think you can be good?”
She shakes her head, licking from my chin to my lips. “Definitely not.”
I moan, knowing she’s got to be hurting for me too if she’s losing control like this.
“Fuck this.” I grip her ass and pick her up.
She wraps her legs around my waist and I carry her to our bedroom.
Our. Bedroom.
I’ll never know another night alone again. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without the warmth of her against my back and the peace in my bones that she gives me.
Dove’s lips find my neck, sucking and licking as if she’s desperate enough to taste inside my skin.
When we get to our bedroom, I slam her against the nearest wall and ease the door shut. There’s a baby monitor on the nightstand that’s on. If our son needs us, we’ll know.
“Oh god, Winston. I need you. Please. I’m fine. I need to feel you.” She rocks her cunt against my covered cock and her wetness seeps through the material.
Her warmth spreads across the crown and I bite down on her lip, nearly breaking the rules.
No matter how desperate the ache for her is, I will never do anything that could harm her health.
“We can’t, Dove. We can’t.” I continue to kiss her, rocking against her clit in hopes that it’s enough. “Tonight. Tonight, when you’re cleared.” I steal another desperate kiss, wishing my lips would melt against hers, to get closer, so much fucking closer.
“No. No.” She shoves my pants down enough for my cock to be freed. “Now. Fuck me, now, Winston.” She nibbles on my ear, making my knees buckle and almost sending us to the floor.
The more she begs, the more I break.
I want nothing more than to give her what she wants, but we have to be mindful. We’ve lasted all this time; we can last another few hours.
“I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you, Dove.” I kiss down her neck and nibble across her collarbone, tasting the water droplets from the shower.
I continue to kiss my way down her chest, groaning in appreciation when her full tits are heavy in my palms. I suck a nipple into my mouth, sweet milk bursting across my tongue, and Dove rocks herself against my cock.
The heat of her entrance is pure temptation.
She yanks my head back by the roots of my hair, slamming her mouth onto mine.
Another messy kiss. If this keeps going, I’m going to be inside her in less than a minute.
I unwrap her legs from around my waist and ease her feet to the floor, then grip her by the back of her nape.
Spinning her around, I press her against the wall by keeping my hand between her shoulder blades.
Her back arches in protest.
“No! Winston. What are you doing? Turn me around.” She fights against me, pushing her body against my hand, and I press harder, forcing her to still.