Chapter 4 #2
“What can I do?” I ask, feeling helpless. “Name it and it’s yours. Do you want me to go kill him? Because I will. Happily, in fact.”
“You’ll go to jail.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll just tell the jury I did womankind a service and they’ll let me go. Besides, juries never convict attractive people. All I have to do is smile at them.”
She lets out a small laugh, and I take that as a minor victory given the situation.
“Do you want me to call Oliver?” I offer.
“No. Don’t bother him. He’s with Amelia and, as you said, he lives out in the suburbs now. I can’t believe I forgot about that.”
“You had other things on your mind.”
“I guess I did.”
She gets up, walking through the great room over toward the large floor-ceiling windows that comprise that entire wall.
For a second, I think she’s going to open the slider and go out onto the balcony, back into the rain, but she just presses her fingers to the glass, staring at the glowing blurry buildings beyond.
“What am I going to do?” she asks only I get the feeling her question is for herself and not me.
“You’re going to stay here.”
She spins around at my voice, finding me still glued to the island, almost afraid to move. I shouldn’t have offered that. The words tumbled past my lips without any restraint or bearing on repercussions. Having Grace stay here, even temporarily, is a mistake of epic proportions.
I want her, desperately in fact, and I can’t have her. Ever.
Unrequited love seems to be my thing. It was with Alanna, a woman I was a resident with down in Virginia Beach. I was crazy about her for four years and then by the time I actually made a play for her, I was too late. She had met someone else.
I was stupid and arrogant, thinking I had all the time in the world to finish my residency and enjoy the last vestiges of being a bachelor before wanting to get serious and settle down.
Then I moved back here, a little heartsick, and found Grace. No longer the teenager I remembered, but the woman. The doctor. The spitfire. And during this past year, after spending eighty hours a week together…
Yes, I most certainly am a fool.
But what else can I do?
Her fiancé cheated on her. Oliver is living with his Amelia, and her little sister Layla, and they are starting a life together.
They’d take Grace in in a second, but I know that’s not what Grace desires.
No one wants to be around a happy couple when you’re miserable.
All of her other friends are all in serious relationships.
And she’s here.
“You’re serious?” she questions. “I can’t… Carter, how on earth?”
“You’ll stay here,” I tell her again, more certain of it now. “For as long as you need to.”
A tear tracks down her face as her eyes continue to hold mine. “We’ll kill each other.”
I chuckle at that. “Possibly. But isn’t that half the fun?”
“Carter—”
“It’s done. I have three extra bedrooms and it’s not like we’re not used to being around each other.
Even when we’re not at work. You’re always around, Grace.
It’ll be fine. Here,” I say, walking over to the oven and pulling out the tray of chicken enchiladas I made for my date.
“We are going to eat and then I’m going to run over to your place and pack up your stuff. ”
I plate the enchiladas, some beans and rice, and set the whole thing in front of her, complete with a napkin and silverware. I pour her a glass of water because she’s right about the alcohol, and then I point to the seat.
She’s eyeing the food like she’s not sure if she wants to eat it or not, though I know for a fact she loves my enchiladas. It’s one of three dishes I make exceptionally well and it’s also Oliver’s favorite, so I make it a lot when they’re around.
“You’re very controlling.”
“Only when the situation fits.”
“I like to fight back.”
I grin. “I know. I like that about you. Keeps the game interesting. Now come eat so I can go get your things.”
“You can’t go to my place,” she tells me, finally crossing the room to sit down. “I know you. If you see Tony, you’ll hurt him, and while I might not care so much about him at the moment, I do care about your hands.”
I hold up said hands in surrender. “I can control myself.”
She raises an eyebrow, but I don’t waver. I can. I won’t actually kill her fiancé. I probably won’t even rough him up too bad because he’s a lawyer and who wants that headache.
“I’ll just threaten him until he pisses his pants.”
“I’ll go over there tomorrow morning after he leaves for work.”
“Tomorrow is Sunday, Grace. He’ll be home and waiting for you.”
“Shit,” she mutters, picking at the food with her fork. “You’re right. He will be and I… I can’t see him, Carter. I can’t. If I see him, I might kill him.” She blinks up at me. “You really wouldn’t mind going there to get some things for me?”
“I’m on it.” Honestly, I’m looking forward to it.
“And you’re truly okay with me staying here? Just until I can figure something else out?”
Her crystalline blue eyes, so guileless, hold mine, her expression impossibly sweet and hopeful.
How could anyone ever cheat on her? She is so perfect.
But if she’s staying here, in my home, I need to get myself in better control.
No more thinking about her beyond work. No more fantasizing.
No more pushing the line, the line I love to push.
Can I do that?
It seems I don’t have a choice.
“I’m positive.”
I’m also fucked.