Chapter 8
S urgery begins in ten minutes, and I start scrubbing in, getting my mind in the game. Focusing my energy on my patient. Funneling everything external out of my head, I enter the OR like I own it, silent as the nurse gowns and gloves me up.
“Dr. Hammond, what is the goal of robotic-assisted laparoscopic excision of endometriosis?” Carter bellows and all eyes turn on me. Dammit, the cocky bastard is going to treat me like an intern.
“The goal is to treat and excise the endometriosis without harming the healthy tissue of the uterus around the abnormal growths.”
“What are the benefits?”
“Faster recovery, less pain, smaller incisions, earlier return to normal activities, decreased risk of infection, and hopefully, better fertility outcomes.”
He’s smug, devilishly gorgeous, even with his mask covering half his face as he stands on the non-dominant side of the surgical table.
“Dr. Hammond, please conduct the time out and proceed with your surgery.”
I gawk at him before quickly composing myself. When he offered this to me, I thought I was to assist. Not lead. A swell of nervous anticipation crests through me but I do just as he instructs. I run the hell out of this surgery. Knowing this is exactly what I was born to do.
It’s complicated. There’s a lot of scar tissue and adhesions.
More than I was expecting from what was visible on the imaging in her file.
Carter guides me through it with a sharp tone and strict instruction.
I allow Dylan to come closer, allow him to view the surgical field so he can see what stage IV endometriosis looks like on the inside, and by the time the nurses wheel the patient out, her uterus is clean.
“Slayed it, girl,” Dylan whispers to me with a wink as he goes along with the PACU nurse to help get the patient settled. I give him a wink in return; satisfaction bubbling up inside me like a well, flowing through my veins.
That’s why I do this.
Because when she wakes up, Dylan and I can tell her that in six weeks, she can start trying to have children. I contain my squeal of delight but just barely. The scrub nurse gives me an elbow bump and a ‘nice job’, and I exit the OR like the rock star I am.
“Brilliant work,” Carter commends, stepping in beside me as I start to scrub out.
“Thank you.”
Understatement of the century. I can’t name any other third years who have gotten to do what I just did entirely on their own.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I don’t ever have to do anything. I did it because I wanted to, and you’ve earned it.” His dark eyes meet mine and something about the way he’s staring at me makes my skin tingle. “I’m in the office the rest of the day.”
“I’m on the floor with deliveries.”
“I’ll see you at home then.”
Dammit, now I’m buzzing. “I’ll see you at home.”
My smile as well as that strange kinetic energy flowing through me carries me down the floor, past antepartum and into labor and delivery until I find Tony there waiting for me.
He smiles when he sees me, having caught my smile and thinking it was for him. It’s not. I have zero smiles for this man right now.
“Did you get my flowers?” he asks, that smile only growing as I walk toward an empty patient room and step inside. That card is still in my pocket. I never got to it and now doesn’t seem like the time to fish it out and read it.
“I did.”
Tony sighs when he realizes the way this is going. He drops onto a chair and then reaches for me, trying to stop me from hovering by the door. “Come here,” he begs softly. “Sit next to me. Sit with me. Please, Grace. I can’t talk to you when you’re there and I’m here.”
“I’m good over here.”
He frowns, staring down at his hands in his lap and I take a minute to survey him. His eyes are black and blue, as is the bridge of his nose, and his right eye has a cut just below it and is decently swollen.
Carter. He didn’t even say anything, but there is no one else it could have been.
“Carter did a nice job.” I swirl a finger in the air, indicating his face.
“It was a sucker punch.”
“Only one?”
“He got me twice. Happy now?”
Maybe a little.
The idea of Carter throwing punches in my honor does strange things to me. When I jested I was worried about his hand if he hit Tony, I wasn’t fully serious. I never expected Carter would actually throw a punch, let alone two.
Is that why he had me perform the surgery this morning and not him? No. He used the robot, showing me a technique on how to hold and manipulate it to get a better angle.
Tony rises out of his chair, crossing the room to attempt and take my hand, but I fold them across my body to stop the contact.
I don’t want him to touch me. All I can think about is that woman.
All I can see is that woman. All I hear are her words when she described the things my fiancé did to her.
It makes the bile in my empty stomach churn, enthusiastically trying to climb up the back of my throat.
Tony frowns, dropping his head into his hands and running them through his sandy brown hair as he lets out an uneven breath. “I can’t stand this, Grace. I can’t. I miss you like crazy. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t think about anything other than getting you back. Getting our life back.”
Tears threaten in the back of my eyes, my nose burning as I do everything I can to hold them in. I believe him for no other reason than I can see it. He does look like crap, bruised face aside. But is he sincere? A man who I know lies to me? Does it even matter if he is?
Then something occurs to me.
“Let me see your phone,” I demand.
His eyebrows hit his hairline. “My phone?”
I nod my head. “Yes. Your phone.” I hold my hand out expectantly.
He blanches and I know I’m onto something here. “What do you need with my phone? I’m trying to talk to you about us and you’re trying to make a call?”
He knows I’m not trying to make a call. He’s stalling.
“Just have dinner with me tonight,” he continues. “Talk to me.”
I shake my head. “Let. Me. See. Your. Phone.”
“Why? There’s nothing on there,” he states firmly, but there is an undercurrent of panic too.
“If there is nothing on there, then you can let me see it.”
He blows out a hot breath and then reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone, handing it to me with so much reluctance my heart turns to stone. Why am I doing this? I don’t want to see what they wrote to each other. But at the same time, I need to.
I unlock his phone and immediately go to his call log. Nothing from an unknown number or with a name I don’t know.
“See,” he says, trying to make a swipe for his phone. “Nothing.”
I tug it away from his grasp and go to his texts.
And sure enough, there are two names there that I do not recognize.
Daisy and Bella. I close my eyes briefly and shake my head.
Bastard. When I open them again, Tony is pacing around in a circle, his hands on his hips as he breathes heavily like he’s been running sprints.
I open up the text messages from Daisy first and see a lot from her.
And not a lot from him. They started yesterday, talking about the good time they had the night before.
She’s clearly the girl I heard in the café.
A couple quick things about how much fun she had and wanting to get together. He says he can’t and that he’s busy.
Then I go to the other one. Her texts started three weeks ago and as I scroll through…
“You sexted with her?”
“No. That’s not… I felt bad. I slept with her one time.
” His eyes beseech mine. “I swear, only once, and then she started texting me dirty stuff and I didn’t know how to say no.
I never planned on getting in touch and when she started messaging me, I kept telling her I was busy.
I assumed she’d take the hint. She hasn’t. ”
“But you texted them back. Both of them. You gave them your phone number to begin with. Them. As in multiple women and these are just the ones I’m seeing. You lied. You said it was one time. You said you told her it was a mistake. You told me she meant nothing. All of it lies.”
He continues to pace. “I liked their attention. Not them. I love you. I never see you, Grace. You’re this brilliant doctor. A woman who doesn’t need me. These women did. They wanted me and I…”
“You cheated. I know.” I can’t stand the sight of him. “You need to leave. I’m at work and I can’t be around you right now.”
“Please, Grace. Just have dinner with me. Talk to me. We’ll get counseling. You can’t just throw away three years of a relationship. We’re engaged. We’ll go away on a trip together. Whatever it takes, we can fix this.”
“The time to try and fix this was before you stuck your dick in another woman. I can’t forgive you for what you’ve done.
I can’t. You can try and blame this on me, but I never cheated.
We had problems, sure. We work long hours, both of us.
But my legs stayed closed. I would have never betrayed you, but you betrayed me.
You lied and betrayed me several times over. Now we’re done.”
With that, I leave him behind, heading out to find my next patient. Ready to tackle the rest of my day. A mistake. Being with him, trusting him, hoping things would change and settle down. All of it a mistake.
I should be shattered, but I’m not.
I’m sad, yet oddly relieved. I feel like I just escaped a death sentence. What would have happened to me if I had blindly married him? If I had never discovered his infidelity?
I shudder at that.
And even though I just said goodbye to my fiancé for good, all I can think about is how he looked. Carter punched the hell out of him. Something that seems so very un-Carter like to do. But maybe I’m wrong thinking that. Maybe there’s so much more to Carter Fritz than I ever knew existed.
Whatever.
One thing I’m certain of, my old life is over and my new one starts now. I have no other choice but to hope my days of making mistakes are over.