Chapter 21
“T ell me,” Carter snaps when I remain silent.
All I can do is shake my head. What do I say?
That every time I’m near him, look at him, I’m pulled back to that night?
That I still fantasize and get myself off to it?
To him? That I’m an emotional mess and I have no idea if I’m thinking about him in this way because I never realized how lonely and bored and emotionally unstimulated I was even when I was with Tony until I slept with him?
He stares into my eyes, his face inching in closer and I hate that he’s doing this. Trying to read me. Trying to weed out every hidden thought from my head the way only he seems to know how to do.
“Tell me you haven’t been thinking about it,” he goes on.
“Tell me you haven’t been replaying and reliving every second of last Saturday night in your head.
” His hands meet the desk on either side of my thighs, his face so close I can see every fleck of gold and brown in his beautiful irises.
“Tell me,” he demands sharply, making me jump. “Tell me you’re not here for me.”
“I…” I lick my lips. “I’m here because of the way you’ve been treating me all week.”
“Bullshit. You’ve been running and hiding because you don’t trust yourself around me.
Because all you can think about is how good my cock felt inside of you.
Is how hard you came when I ate your sweet-as-fuck pussy.
” He takes my legs, spreading them open and stepping in between them, caging me in completely. “Admit it.”
My heart rate kicks up from a jog to a gallop as nervous adrenaline shoots through my veins.
“Carter—”
Only my words die as his hands capture my face a half-second before his lips crash down on mine.
His tongue instantly dives into my mouth, taking possession of mine as a hungry growl is rent from the back of his throat.
Our kiss is messy, urgent, his mouth and teeth all over me, marking my skin and bruising my lips.
My breath gets tangled up in my lungs as he trails down my neck, the very tip of his tongue skating down before sucking his way back up my flesh.
I shiver against him, my belly trembling as his rough hands slide up my scrub top, ripping it up and over my head before his mouth comes back down against mine.
He licks the space between my lips, sliding his tongue back inside.
Deft fingers loop into the elastic holding my ponytail up before ripping it from my hair, only to massage away the sting immediately after as my hair tumbles down around me.
“I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s too soon,” he growls into my mouth.
“It’s not too soon. None of this is.” His fingers go for the drawstring on my scrub pants, tearing at the knot.
“I’m done being patient. I’m done waiting for my turn.
No more messing around, Grace. This is happening between us.
I’m going to fuck you so good on my desk you won’t be able to walk straight.
Then I’m going to take you home and do it all over again. ”
My body blazes with heat. Burning.
Carter is going to fuck me in ways I’ve never been fucked before.
I can feel it. See it in the raw, unbridled desire in his wild gaze.
And I’m here for it. My body craving that more than it craves oxygen for my next breath.
I know why this is a bad idea. I know all the ways this could—and likely will—go wrong.
But in this moment, I can’t mount any form of defense.
I’m held hostage by a lust so powerful all rational thought is eclipsed by it. Still…
“If you fuck anyone else while you’re fucking me—”
His hands grasp my face, holding me firmly, his eyes right before mine, so powerful and intense I see nothing else. “Never, Grace. I am fucking you because I can’t stand not fucking you another second. Haven’t you figured it out yet? I’m yours.”
Before I can ask him exactly what that means, his mouth is back on mine, his kiss so passionate my head spins.
His lips are punishing, unforgivingly fierce as they take from me.
My hands grasp the strands of his hair, yanking hard as my tongue savagely rakes along his; hungry, tireless, desperate for more.
I have no limit with him. My trust is boundless. My desire uncontrollable.
I scoot to the edge of the desk, wrapping my legs around his waist and rolling my hips against the hard ridge in his jeans. My hands grow greedy as they attack his shirt—this thing needed to go like ten minutes ago—and I make quick work of it, still pissed the bastard showered when I haven’t.
It hits the floor and then I explore him, nails raking over every inch of flesh they can reach.
His skin is hot to the touch, electric as it pulses a current straight through me.
My scrub pants get tugged off my body and then I’m being pushed back, more papers flying about the room as Carter shoves them off the desk.
“Those could be important.”
“Not as important as punishing you while eating your pussy is.”
“What—”
Only I get cut off as Carter flips me over, shoving my chest down onto his desk, my cheek against the hard wood grain.
My thong slides down my legs and now my ass is on full display to him. My pussy too since he’s widening my stance. He kneels behind me, his face now level with me, and I shut my eyes, biting down hard into my lip. I’m so exposed. So open to him. At his total mercy.
And yet, I’ve never felt sexier. More desirable than I do in this moment with his face inches from my pussy.
He grasps my ass cheeks, rubbing and squeezing the globes, spreading them wide and ripping a gasp from my throat.
His tongue juts out, licking the seam of my lips, toying all around my clit without giving me the pressure I need.
That’s when the first smack happens. A hard clap against my ass quickly followed by another on the opposite cheek.
I jolt forward, the desk cutting into my upper thighs, my eyes shooting open in shock.
Carter is spanking me on his desk while eating me out from behind. Jesus Henry Christ, how is this even happening right now? We’re at work!
He goes back to rubbing me, still playing with me with his tongue.
I whimper, feeling wetness leaking out of me which he licks, groaning into me as he does.
Holy shit. I can’t… My eyes roll circles in my head as he does it again, thrusting his tongue up into me as his hand comes down on my ass again.
Harder this time. The pain is sharp and exquisite, my blood thrumming, rising up to meet my smarting skin.
My body is so absorbed in the pleasure he’s giving me that every smack spirals me higher to a state of erotic bliss I’ve never come close to reaching before.
Six more smacks and just as the last one finishes, his lips close around my clit before sucking it in.
“Fuck!” My cry rends the air, my orgasm building, making my needy, empty core convulse.
“Next time you get it into your pretty head that avoiding me is the way to go, I will not make it feel this good. I will make it hurt, make you beg before I ever grant you pleasure.” I moan.
Something like that shouldn’t sound as hot as it does, but my body clearly has other ideas.
“No more of that shit, Grace.” He blows on me, and I grind against the desk, needing the relief he’s teasing me with.
“I’ve waited so long for you. You have no idea. ”
I moan again, louder this time. “How long?” How long has Carter Fritz wanted me and I had no clue? How long have I denied myself this when I was with the wrong guy the entire time?
I get another smack for my question and then he’s going at me. Licking me, flicking me with this tongue. His hands on my ass, holding me against his mouth as he eats at me like a man starved. I come on a whirlwind, a chaotic explosion that rips through my body, taking my mind with it.
I have no clue what I say. If I scream or not. All I know is that I can’t stop it or control it.
My body has been taken over, with Carter Fritz as the master puppeteer.
Before I can even catch my breath or adjust my position, he’s inside of me with a long, deep thrust. My lungs empty, my hands clutching desperately onto the edge of his desk for fear that I’ll fly off the other side.
One hand grasps my hip, the other my hair as he tugs my head up and off the desk, arching my back. Bending himself in half, he starts fucking me, his lips capturing mine as he pounds into me from behind.
Harder and harder he takes me, the desk rustling, inching along the worn carpet, more and more papers and things tumble off it all the while Carter’s mouth devours my cries of pleasure.
“You’re gonna get us caught,” he accuses, his voice coarse and untamed as his hips drive, hitting that spot inside me that lights everything up in euphoria.
“Afraid someone will see you drilling your resident, Dr. Fritz?”
He grins against me. “I couldn’t care less other than I don’t want anyone seeing your perfect tits and sweet pussy but me.”
“You should know after last time I’m not very good at being quiet when you do this to me.”
That grin spreads into a smile. “Tomorrow you’re finding a new attending. I’ll tell your adviser your pussy is mine so she knows and then I can fuck you whenever and however I want.”
“No. You’re not telling anyone that. What about me? What about what I want?”
“You want this.” He thrusts harder into me, all the way to the hilt, ripping a shuddered gasp out of me as if proving his point. “And I can’t deny you what you want.”
Shit. I’m in so much trouble.
“No one can know, Carter. No one.”
His grip in my hair tightens as he raises up from my back, clutching my hip in a bruising grip as he fucks me relentlessly.
It’s loud and messy and this is not how I saw tonight going but I’m certainly not complaining.
The sex is too good to pretend otherwise and if this is all we are to each other, I guess I can handle that.
At least until I can’t anymore.
Until my heart decides it doesn’t do flings and grows attached.
Another smack to my ass pulls me out of my thoughts and before I know what the hell is happening, his fingers are rubbing my clit, and I explode. All over him. Crying out his name while multicolored stars rain like confetti behind my eyelids.
For a moment I panic at that, my heart tripling its speed only for me to quickly realize it’s not a seizure.
Just one hell of an orgasm. One that seems to go on and on and on, especially as he grasps my body, folding his over mine, and roughly grunting out his release in my ear.
Making Carter Fritz come undone is without a doubt the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
It’s a high unlike any other.
This man, always so in control, losing it completely with me.
His ragged breathing pants across my ear, mine across his desk, leaving a ring of condensation with every exhale. Brushing back some of the wayward strands of hair from my face, he kisses my temple, dropping his forehead to the side of mine.
What does this mean for me going forward? Am I doing this? Flinging with my hot roommate? With my boss?
“We should never have gone a week without that.”
I close my eyes, trying to settle my turbulent thoughts. “This is going to get complicated.”
“Only if we let it,” he says simply, pulling himself up and off me, helping me to stand and making sure my legs are steady before he goes over to a cabinet in his built-in bookshelf and pulls out a towel for me.
He wipes me up—which feels weird, yet tender, so I don’t say anything—and then he’s pulling up my thong and scrub pants that I evidently never took off. My shoes either.
This was the definition of a quick, dirty fuck, and I hate that we’re still here, in the hospital.
I hate that I now have to find a new attending.
I hate that I’m already such a slave to Carter with his magic dick, stern alpha-ness, and his soul-crushing sweetness—the latter something that feels like a secret only I’m in on.
“I should move out.”
He shakes his head, cupping my jaw and tilting my face up from the floor. “You should stay. You’ll never find anything affordable close to the hospital and you left all of your furniture at Tony’s. You can stay in your bedroom if that makes you feel more comfortable.”
“I’m scared, Carter,” I admit and hate that I feel weak doing so, but never in my life have I felt less in control or more out of sorts.
“What can I do to fix that?”
“You can’t tell anyone. I mean it. If word around the hospital got out that we’re sleeping together, my career, the respect of my fellow colleagues, all of it would be gone. I’ve worked too hard for too long for that.”
“Alright.”
The earnest intensity in his gaze relaxes me.
Carter isn’t out to hurt or ruin me. He wants to help and take care of me—while having seriously hot sex.
And when our flame burns out—an inevitability—we’ll go back to being the way things were before we ever did this.
That’s what these guys do. I’ve witnessed Oliver do it so many times and it never affected his work.
It was fun and nothing more. If I realign my preconceived notions of what sex and love and fun, for that matter, are supposed to be, can I do this?
“One more thing?”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Don’t mess with my heart.”
His eyes bounce back and forth between mine as his lips dip down. “I’d never mess with something I wa—” He cuts himself off sharply. Clears his throat. “I’d never do that. Promise.”
I nod, but all I can think is, I hope we’re not making promises we can’t keep.