Chapter 27
M y head pops up at the sound of footsteps entering the room, and I immediately lock eyes with my brother.
He’s staring at me, almost in disbelief whereas Amelia and Rina, who are by his side, don’t look surprised at all.
Despite the inauspicious reasons for them being dragged here on a Sunday, the ladies are grinning with a self-satisfied gleam to their eyes that suggests they were on to me for as long as Margot evidently was.
“So, we’re going to get coffee,” Rina announces, tugging on Amelia’s arm.
“Right. Coffee,” Amelia agrees. “And cookies. Grace loves the cookies from the cafeteria. She’ll definitely want those when she’s feeling better.”
And then my sister and one day soon to be my sister-in-law leave me here with my brother who does not look happy.
He grabs a chair from the corner, dragging it along until he’s on the other side of Grace’s gurney, his gaze never wavering from mine.
“I texted her parents,” he starts, the edge to his voice unmistakable.
“It’s the middle of the night in Australia and they’re not the closest with her anyway.
Actually, they’re straight-up assholes who don’t give a shit about her, so I doubt they’ll even reply. ”
I sit up straighter. “Oliver—”
“How long?” he interrupts.
“A few weeks. Since her birthday.”
“And is it just fun or something else?”
“I suppose that would depend on which of us you ask.”
He practically snarls at that. “I’m asking you, asshole. Grace is like Rina to me, except Rina has five brothers and two parents who would lay in traffic for her. Grace has me. I’m it.”
“Not anymore.”
Oliver shakes his head in dismay, running his hand over her hair and checking her over. “Grace? You waking up yet, honey?”
She doesn’t respond.
“How long does it typically take for her to come out of her postictal phase?”
“Depends. I haven’t seen her have a seizure since we were in medical school. That was a bad one. A night of too much drinking. After that, she sort of found her stride with them. Got herself into a routine and a regimen. What’s happened that that all changed?”
The accusation in his tone isn’t unfounded. My guilt has been riding me since the second I saw her on the floor.
“That’s my fault. She’s been working too many hours with not enough sleep to pick up the slack of another resident who was injured. That and I took her to see Wild Minds last night and we had a few drinks.”
“With Kap and Luca?”
Now he looks pissed and I’m not about to throw my brothers under the bus. Especially when they kept our secret, not something any of us enjoys doing. “No. We had floor seats.” Not a lie, but not the full truth either.
Oliver runs his hands over his face, blowing out a harsh breath through his fingers. “She’s living with you.”
“Oliver, grow the fuck up and get over it. Jesus Christ. Grace was in a shitty relationship with a shitty guy, and you hardly had a goddamn word to say about it. I am not a shitty guy. I know you know this. Hurting her isn’t an option for me.”
“Except she hasn’t had a seizure in four years and within weeks of moving in and hooking up with you, she has not one but two.”
It’s true and I have nothing to say. I’d rather die than let her go, but maybe being with me isn’t the healthiest or the safest option for her.
“It wasn’t Carter’s fault. It was mine,” Grace grumbles, her voice coarse like she’s been eating sand.
Oliver’s face drops to the gurney, resting on his side so he can stare straight into her eyes. “Hey beautiful. How’s your head?”
“Awesome. I forgot how much fun having a seizure can be.”
“You had two.”
“Even better. No wonder I feel like I was just hit by a truck.” Ever so slowly, she shifts on the gurney, trying to roll onto her back. Immediately I stand, helping her, staring into her eyes as they adjust to the overhead lights.
“Pupils are equal and reactive,” I say, running my hand along her cheek. “Welcome back. You scared the shit out of me.”
She doesn’t say anything to that, raising her arm in the air and surveying her IV before arching up to take a look at the pole, spotting the two bags of meds and fluids they’re giving her. With a huff, she sinks back down.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she repeats. “It was mine. I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I should have. The way I know I need to. I drank a lot of caffeine in the last few days. Didn’t get a lot of sleep. Drank some alcohol on top of that. I was stupid. And careless. And this is the result.”
“You got lucky.”
She frowns at Oliver’s words. “I got lucky. The last thoughts to flow through my head were that I was grateful I was already in the hospital. Who’s covering my patients?”
My heart pinches at that. Status epilepticus is terrifying. Grace was here and the nurses were able to call for help immediately and respond with medications within seconds of her initial onset. If a person is home when it hits, sometimes they’re not so lucky.
“Dylan, the other residents, and Dr. Schwartz as well as a fellow,” I answer, but she doesn’t react beyond one simple nod of her head.
“Amelia and I have a big house, Grace. Come live with us.”
“Fuck you, Oliver,” I growl, ready to kill my brother where he sits.
“Fuck you back. If you had taken care of her the way—”
“Shut up!” Grace yells and then flinches, licking her cracked lips and lowering her tone.
“Both of you. Just shut up. Damn. Why are boys so dumb? God. Do you think because I have vagina, I’m weak and incapable of making rational decisions about my life?
What happened is because I didn’t do what I needed to do.
I was arrogant. Something you two pricks should relate to.
I drank too much caffeine. I got too little sleep.
I had more alcohol than I should have. I knew better and I did it anyway.
But as of this moment, I’m not moving out and I’m not living with you, Oliver.
I will make my own choices and decide my own path and both of you will have to learn to adapt to it. ”
I sink back down onto my chair, taking her hand and forcing her gaze to hit mine. “I don’t want you to move out. I want you to stay. With me.”
There. Heart on the line. Feelings served up in a Petri dish.
Grace sputters out a breath. “Get me discharged. Get this line out of my arm. The drugs are making me feel like I’m walking through sludge.” I nod absently. Everything inside of me hurting until her hand squeezes mine and she finishes that off with, “I want to go home.”
“Grace?”
She turns back to Oliver. “What do you want me to say? I need you. You’re my best friend. But I lied to you for weeks because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”
“Not well.”
“Obviously. I’m sorry.” She frowns, letting go of my hand and reaching for his. “I’m so sorry. But it’s new and we’re not… I just got out of my engagement to Tony… and I…”
“He seems to care about you.”
“I’m right here,” I groan only to be ignored.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to discuss that,” she continues. “Mostly I’m scared about doing everything wrong the way I did with Tony. But for now, I’m okay.”
“If you’re ever not, you’ll come and stay with us?”
“Promise.”
“Shit, Grace.” Oliver crumples, his expression breaking. “You can’t do this to me again. I can’t handle you avoiding me. You’re my best fucking friend. I can stand anything you can throw at me, including your motherfucking seizures and you screwing around with my brother, but I can’t handle that.”
“I’ll never withhold from you again.”
Oliver stands up, adjusting his T-shirt that somehow is misaligned. He wipes at the emotion on his face, and I watch as my brother grapples with letting go of being the man in Grace’s life. Even when she had Tony, Oliver was still it. And likely, Oliver will always be her go-to person.
But it’s Oliver. And I’m okay with that.
“Carter, let it be known now that I will fucking destroy you if ever hurt my girl. She’s the B side to my A side, brother.”
“And she’s the A side to my B side.”
Oliver glares at me for forever and then he kisses Grace’s forehead and walks out.
“Your family is so dramatic.”
I chuckle, grasping Grace’s body in both my arms, my face right beside hers. “I like you.”
She laughs. “I like you too.”
“Don’t move out, okay?”
“I won’t. At least not yet. But when you get all fancy and decide breaking hearts is what all the cool kids are doing, I might.”
“And if I decide to be lame and never do that?”
“Then you better not ever make me overhear how you’re a sex god with another woman in my favorite café.”
“But the local diner?”
“Carter?!” I get a smack to my head which makes me laugh harder.
“I’m your sex god. Your body is my temple. Your pussy my house of worship.” I raise up, dropping my chin onto the gurney and smirking at my girl. “Sweetheart, there is no getting away from me because wherever you go, I follow. I will always follow.”
“You mean that?”
I don’t get a chance to answer because just then Drew returns, his gray eyes on us as he approaches the other side of her gurney. “Oliver just informed me I’m to release you. But since this is my ED and you’re my patient and not his, I thought I’d come speak to you first.”
“I’d like to go home,” Grace tells him.
“And I’d like Margot to finally marry me. We don’t always get what we want. Is there any way I can convince you to stay the night? Get an EEG? A neuro consult?”
“None of this is new for me, but I promise I’ll follow up with my neurologist.”
“Do you need a refill on your meds until then?”
She shakes her head. “No. I have plenty of Ativan at home and I’ll likely start taking it for a few days just to be certain.”
“Damn, doctors make the worst patients. How about you will start taking it for a few days and if you need anything else, well, Carter can write it for you or I can. Margot or Rina will be here in a second with some—”
“I’m already here,” Rina announces. “I have a clean pair of scrubs for you, but unfortunately the only underwear I could scrounge up are the lovely full coverage hospital mesh ones.”
“Awesome,” Grace deadpans. “Super sexy but very appreciated. I’m not going to ask how many people I work with saw me seize, lose control of God knows what, and get naked because I don’t want to know.”
“Only I saw you naked,” Margot replies, coming in to join us. “I cleaned you up and changed you into a gown after the room was cleared.”
“Thank you,” Grace says, her voice cracking with gratitude. “All of you.”
“Rest up and take it easy,” Drew tells her. “I don’t want to see you back down here unless you’re here as a doctor and not a patient.”
“Agreed.”
“I’ll take out her IV,” I offer.
I take the scrubs and mesh underwear from Rina and the room empties after Drew does a quick exam and Rina and Margot hug Grace.
Shutting off the pumps, I wash my hands, put on some gloves, and go about removing the IV from Grace’s elbow crease.
Then I untie the string in the back of the gown, helping her get changed.
“Why are you still here, Carter?”
I blink at that, shifting to catch her eye. “What do you mean? Did you want me to step out while you change?”
“No. I mean, why are you still here with me, telling me you want me to stay?” She shakes her head, staring down at her hands. “You can’t be for real.”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking me,” I admit.
She blows out a breath and for the longest of moments, just sits there, lost in her thoughts.
Finally she says, “When I was first diagnosed, my parents didn’t know what to do with me.
It scared them, sure, but I think it also embarrassed them.
I had a seizure in public once and I remember when I came to and was feeling better, my mother told me I wasn’t allowed to do that again—like I had a choice in the matter—because two people from their country club saw.
After that, they pretty much kept me in the house or parked me at your house with Oliver.
I think they assumed because your father is a doctor that he’d be able to handle me better than they would. ”
“Grace.”
I sit back down, taking her hand in mine. I never knew about this. Oliver never mentioned it. He said her parents weren’t part of her life. That they don’t give a shit about her. I had no clue it was like this though.
“I took my meds. I did everything I could not to have any more seizures. I went on Depo-Provera when we discovered my periods were making them worse. I was desperate for my parents to want me and love me back, but they never did after that episode. Once I realized that was the case, I used my epilepsy as a weapon against them. I wanted to be normal. Just like every other teenager and college kid. I wanted to drink and party and not think of the consequences. It took me a very long time to understand how doing that was not hurting them the way I intended. I was only hurting myself in that game. I got straight with my seizures—lucky I was even able to do that when so many can’t—and in my entire relationship with Tony, I never had one.
Only a few FAS symptoms that never went beyond that.
In fact, I think he mostly forgot about it.
He’d mention things occasionally, but he never saw me seize.
I used to be so afraid he’d leave me the way my parents did if he ever saw it happen. And then he cheated on me and I guess…”
She puffs out a breath, staring up at the ceiling so she doesn’t cry and God, my chest aches just watching her wrestle with this.
“My head is a mess, Carter, but it’s not you. You’re the one thing that feels like it’s going right in my life. And because of that, I’m scared you’ll be the next thing I lose because that’s how it always seems to go for me.”
I thread my fingers with hers, both hands, giving hers a squeeze so she’ll look at me.
It takes her a long beat to do so. “I saw you seize. And I’m still here with no plans on going anywhere else.
It takes an awful lot more than a couple of seizures to scare me away from something I want as badly as I want you.
I haven’t done this before, Grace, but that’s not going to stop me.
If you need time, I’ll be patient. But no matter what, you’re not losing me. I promise, sweetheart.”
Tears line her eyes, holding on tight, refusing to fall.
“I just hope you know what you’re getting into.”