Chapter 34 #2
A tear falls down my mother’s face and I just about lose my mind watching it, choking down my own emotions.
This woman, who somehow manages to continuously rebuild me brick by cracked brick, loves my family.
Loves me. I need her to stay with me. But…
how do I ask that of her? If I win this grant, how do I ask that?
A familiar block of ice settles in my gut.
My mother cups Raven’s face in her hand before it falls limply back down to the bed. She can’t even answer her. She just nods because it’s pretty damn obvious the music is for my mother and not for my growing nephew.
Grace gives my mom a kiss on the forehead as she climbs off the bed and frowns. I bet she still has a fever despite the medications they’re giving her. Raven too climbs off and goes for a chair in the corner, her cello already beside it.
“Hey,” Grace says to me as she leaves the room.
“She has a fever?”
“Feels like it. Not terrible. They gave her Motrin an hour ago, but she’s refusing all other pain medications.”
I twist to glare at her. “Since when?”
“Since this morning. It’s killing your dad to watch her in pain like this, but she said she was sleeping too much on them.”
I shake my head, my hands meeting my hips. “She won’t heal if she’s always in pain.”
Grace places her hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze just as the first notes of some song fill my mom’s hospital room. “Now you know why we’ve been distracting her. Why we had Raven bring her cello.”
“Gracie Lou…”
“I know. But Octavia Abbot-Fritz is nothing if not a fighter. She’ll be back to planning our weddings and interfering in our lives in no time.”
I sigh, feeling sick and hollow. “Not much of a Thanksgiving, is it?”
“Not much, but at least we’re together. Rina told her that she and Brecken are engaged, and Carter and I are going to tell her that we’re naming the baby after her and Oliver. Every piece helps.”
I flip back to her. “You are?”
She smirks. “Owen. We’re using the O from their first names because we honestly couldn’t come up with anything else.” She snickers. “I want to watch their faces at the same time, so I made Carter promise we could tell them both together.”
I reach out, placing my hand over her belly. “Owen Luca Fritz. I like it.”
She laughs, smacking my hand away. “Nice try. I’m going to go take a nap before I fall asleep standing up. Or worse, have a seizure. Let your mom get some rest too. Raven’s got her for now.”
“She’s got me too,” I murmur to myself as Grace heads for one of the empty patient rooms at the end of the hall. I head into the room, take the seat on the opposite side of my mom, and grab her hand. It’s ice-cold and I immediately start rubbing it between mine.
My mom’s tired green eyes meet mine and she gives me a soft smile.
The one she used to when I was little, and she’d stand in the corner watching us play or read or even watch TV.
I used to call it her mom smile. It was content and grateful, and I wonder if that’s what she’s feeling now or if it’s the music doing that.
Or if Octavia Abbot-Fritz is still putting on the brave show for her kids.
Raven is playing something that is giving me chills. Her eyes are closed, but the emotion on her face is stealing my breath.
“She’s trying not to cry as she plays ‘Kol Nidrei’ for me,” my mom whispers, shifting in the bed with small, tense movements so she’s closer to me. I lean in, helping her out.
“I don’t know it.”
“It’s what’s played on Erev Yom Kippur, the Jewish High Holy Day.” My mother clears her throat. “Raven might not remember this, but it’s the first piece she mastered, and she played it for her mom over the phone shortly before she died.”
Shit. “I’m sure that’s not—”
“Shh,” she hushes me, shaking her head. “She’s playing it for me now because it’s one of my favorite pieces. But I also know it makes her feel closer to her mother.”
I’m choked up beyond words and my face falls against the bed, against her arm as I continue to hold her hand.
“I’m glad she gave you a second chance.”
I grin against my mom, swallowing hard. “Me too.”
“Don’t worry, Luca. It’s like I already told her.
I have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon.
My Rina is getting married. My Grace and Carter are having my grandson.
My Oliver is in love. My Landon is too and finally happy again.
And you have my Raven. I will live to see it all, including Kaplan one day finding love or at the very least married to a woman of my choosing. ”
I let out a small laugh. “I love you, Mom.”
“Me too, baby. Now I’m going to rest while our girl plays for me.”
I kiss my mom’s hand and sit up, finding Raven watching us, tears all over her face.
“I love you,” I mouth to her.
She bobs her head, closing her eyes once more as she continues to play. But I can see it. I felt it last night and this morning in the shower too. She knows me. As I know her. Our souls are connected as one.
She knows there’s more going on with me than just my mom.