Epilogue
E ight Months Later
On a perfect midsummer Martha’s Vineyard night, with the sun setting over the western horizon—skies so pure, glowing in a pomp of pink and gold—I find myself walking alone on the beach.
Waters of the bluest of blues crash along the shore, the best soundtrack despite the hint of music from the Fritz ballroom swirling along in the breeze.
The wedding went off without a hitch.
Some early panic by the bride turned into tears and laughter and a lot of kissing. I will admit, I shed more tears than I thought I ever would.
And now, with the party in full swing, I snuck out undetected, walking up toward the stone wall of the English garden that sits tucked away along the outskirts of the property.
Needing a brief reprieve. Just a moment to myself to get my thoughts in order.
Everyone in the world I know and love is in the ballroom, enjoying the reception, drinking, dancing and laughing.
And yet, for reasons I’m not entirely sure of, I couldn’t help but wander out here. Lost in my thoughts.
It’s been a long five years since I was here last.
They say that life is a never-ending circle. Everything that is old will one day be new again. Fashion trends. The food chain. Life. And in my case, love.
Five years ago on this very night, I was practicing my cello only to look up straight into the green eyes of the man I had been in love with my entire life.
A man I never imagined would see me as anything more than the hired help.
The house manager’s daughter. The little girl he once saved from a near drowning.
That summer forever changed me.
Its aftereffects comprising both the best and worst days, weeks, months, and years of my life.
The breeze is warm and welcoming, swirling a sweet path along my skin and kicking up the ends of my hair.
My heels are long since forgotten at the base of the steps, the sand soft and granular as I leave a trail of footprints behind me.
I don’t intend to go far. Just a moment to chase the dying sun before the fireworks explode from the barge fifty feet offshore.
It’s been a long day. A sweet day. The best day. But a day that brought determined looks along with it. Obvious thoughts.
Which is possibly why I catch the faintest hint of celebratory cigar smoke and cologne on the breeze as it skirts in behind me.
He’s there. Somewhere. Watching. Following.
I know he is.
Even if I can’t hear him against the crashing of the waves along the shore. I feel him. I always feel him. The thrill of my pulse. The flutter in my chest. The delicious curling in my lower belly. My body a helpless slave to him.
That thought has me smirking despite my sudden need for a moment of solitude.
The crest of the waning sun sizzles into the edge of the deep blue ocean, bringing a hint of an extra breeze along with a smattering of clouds determined to block out the stars.
But not on this night. It’s been a hot day, one full of sun and joy.
A light at what has felt like an interminable tunnel for a family who is no stranger to fear or heartache.
“Little Bird.” His voice carries and a smile slips up my lips as I keep going, gliding along the fenced wall and then up into the gardens.
Roses, jasmine, lavender, lilac, bushes and trees and tall grasses swath around me, consuming me in their fragrance.
A deep inhale and along with the flowers, him .
Then arms from around my back, folding across my chest. “Don’t struggle my wild, frantic little bird.”
“I am no bird.”
“Ah, but you will always be my little bird. A raven, so brilliant and strong, dark and unyielding. My father told me I will forever be chasing you. Never having won, but hopefully perpetually winning.”
His mouth hits my neck. The skin beneath my ear. Kisses and licks and breath.
“How are the bride and groom?”
A smile against me. “Deliriously happy.” Another kiss, his arms squeezing me against him. “My baby brother got married tonight.” A laugh. “Explain to me why this feels so different than when Landon married Reese.”
“Because Landon was barely out of college when he married Reese. You’re all men now. Grownups.” I giggle. “Well, sort of.”
“And you? What are you ready for? What’s your next adventure?”
“Tomorrow. And the day after that. And so on. I suppose Central America is in there too.”
“But what else? What other adventure does your heart need? What else can I give you to make you feel complete?”
“You by my side, but why does this feel like you’re building me up to something?”
“I might be.” He spins me around, the frill of my skirts splaying out between us.
“Not interested,” I shoot out when I catch the gleam in his eyes.
“You haven’t heard me out yet.”
“I don’t need to. The answer is no.”
We leave in a little over a month for Nicaragua. The symphony takes a small hiatus after the Fourth of July Pops concert, so the timing works out well. The hospital wasn’t so jazzed about my taking this time, but Luca can be persuasive as hell when driven.
It’ll be an adventure, as I said. One I can’t wait to tackle.
I’ve been slowly brushing up on my high school Spanish and going through some things I want to do when I’m there.
Luca is beside himself with the planning of it.
We’re going to take his family plane and Landon and Oliver are joining us for the first two weeks.
They’re donating all kinds of medical equipment to the clinic.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Luca as excited about anything as he is about this.
It’s filing his soul in ways nothing else ever has.
“Do you know one of the things I love about you?” Luca murmurs in my ear as he dips his face toward mine.
“What?” I reply absently, staring out toward the dark sky over the ocean. Any second there are going to be fireworks and I don’t want to miss them.
“That you fit so perfectly against me. Your body tucks straight into mine. Head beneath my chin. It makes dancing with you that much better.”
Without music, he starts to sway me to the call of the breeze. The feel of the night. How easily I get lost in him. How unimaginable I find the thought of being found again if it’s with anyone but him.
I kiss his chin. “I love you.”
“I love you more. But you’re too far away.”
I laugh. “I’m in heels. That tucks me right into you. I’m not normally this tall.”
“Little Bird, you’ve always fit perfectly against me.”
“It’s my favorite place to be,” I tell him honestly, glancing up so I can find his sparkling eyes and contented grin visible in the last remnants of twilight.
I still can’t believe Oliver got married today.
The baby brother and wow, just how gorgeous are all these Fritz men in their wedding apparel.
Casual in khakis, white dress shirts, and pale blue linen blazers.
Kinda preppy, but that’s also kinda Oliver.
“You know, things are going to be different when we’re in Nicaragua. My hours will be long. More surgeries. More community care.”
I drag my fingers through his hair as he continues to sway us like a pendulum. “I know. I’m not worried about it. The work you’ll be doing… it’s so important. I love that we’re doing this. I love that I get to be a part of it with you. See this side of you up close.”
And part of me still feels bad that he declined the grant.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled he’s not leaving for two years.
But I know what fulfilling this journey is to him.
I understand what it means. It’s not something I’d ever want to hinder or take from him.
Not only is the work vital, but it nurtures his soul.
I guess that’s when you know something is real. Forever. Binding.
When you’re both willing to make the vital sacrifice in the name of the other. When what drives them also starts driving you.
“I’m not sure I can do this with you like this.”
My head jerks back, my eyes searching. “Like what?”
“As not fully mine.”
“Luca—”
“What if I need more?”
“What sort of more?” I retort with a challenging brow.
“You as my second self. My second half.”
“You have one of those. His name is Landon. Looks just like you minus the freckle in his left eye.”
“He snores.”
A laugh bursts from my lungs. “He does not. You just don’t like sleeping beside him any longer.”
Luca takes my hand, twisting me through the night air of the garden just as the first of the fireworks hits the sky, illuminating it with a burst of blue and green, startling us with its sharp crack.
He pulls me back against him as we stare at the sky. “I like sleeping beside you. An addiction I’ll never want to cure myself of.”
“Luca. What are you doing?”
His eyes briefly meet mine. “I’m not asking you to marry me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
I was. A little. Or maybe a lot. But hearing him say that’s not what he’s doing…
“I want more than marriage, Little Bird. I’ve waited so long for you. All my life. This is where it all began for us. On this island. On this beach.”
“Well, for me it began long before that. But you were so old, and I was so young.”
He smiles at me, his lips against mine. “That first night when I found you playing cello, all I could think about was how I shouldn’t be looking at you the way I was. Thinking about you the way I was. I think I fell in love with you the very first second I saw you.”
“And now?”
“Now?” He laughs as more fireworks pop overhead, startling us with their loud boom.
Crackles and fizzles and starburst. For a moment, we can’t help but watch them.
Lost in their beauty. In the wonder of it all.
“Now I love you more than I did in all those moments combined. Which is why I’m not asking you to marry me. ”
“You’re not?”
“No. I’m asking you to spend the rest of your life as my partner in crime. The woman who will forever keep me on my toes. Remind me that there is no end to our race. That I’ll never have won you because I’ll have to spend every second of this life working to win you. Always.”
More cracks of fireworks, painting Luca’s face in varying shades of rainbow as they float from the heavens. But his eyes. That earnest expression. That raw, impassioned need.
“I’m not asking you to marry me because marriage is a union,” he continues.
“A legal contract. A piece of paper. A term of negotiation. Raven Fairchild, I’m not asking you to marry me because I need you to be so much more than simply my wife.
I’m asking you to be the mother of my children.
The better half of my soul. The sense to my nonsense.
The light to my dark. The perfect to my imperfect.
The right to all my wrongs. My symphony. My music. My heart. My life.”
“Luca—”
His hands press into my spine, dipping my lower back in until my body is aligned with his. The tip of his nose kisses mine.
“Tell me, baby. I know you’re young and I know this isn’t what wanted just yet.
I know a lot of that is because I did it all wrong the first time.
But I don’t know how to continue on as your boyfriend.
I don’t know how to pretend you’re not the best part of me.
I don’t want to introduce you as anything other than my wife.
You’ve been it for me for five years. Be it for me forever.
Tell me yes and be my wife, my love, my passion. My forever.”
No ring. No one knee. Just direct eye contact, as always with him.
Bodies wrapped as one. Hearts beating in sync. Fast and off-pace and creating a song only we hear.
My lips meld with his and I answer him the only way I can after a speech like that. “Yes. I’m forever yours.”
That’s it. Anything else would be a crazy lie.
I am young and I hadn’t wanted to get married just yet, but he’s right. Calling himself my boyfriend is laughable. He’s more than that. He’s always been more than that.
His lips crash to mine, closing the minuscule distance between us. Tongues and heat and passion and fire and endless love against the sparkling sky. On a night filled with memories. For his family. For us. For all that’s yet to come.