14. Lauren
14
LAUREN
The entire drive across town to the precinct was torture. My heart felt like it was exploding inside my chest. I was ushered around the police department to talk to several different detectives, and only when I proved I was responsible enough to keep an eye on Jason in our apartment—with a little convincing by David—did the officers allow me to bring him home.
David was so patient and supportive. He even walked Jason and me up to the apartment, but I was embarrassed by the way Jason had left his things all over the living room, so I stayed at the door to say goodbye. Jason sat on the couch, probably expecting a lecture, and I stood outside the apartment in the narrow hallway waiting for David to rescue me from this miserable existence, though I knew that wasn't realistic.
"You sure I can't come in? Maybe I can talk to him a little, man to man." David's hand was on my hip possessively, like he was wanting to protect me.
"I'm sure. He'll be really defensive and angry. I feel like I need to have a heart to heart with him. Thank you for being there for me tonight and buying those snacks from the vending machine." I curled my fingers through his, and he nodded.
"A true five-course meal, nothing but the best for my girl." He winked at me and leaned in for a kiss, which I happily supplied, remembering our make-out session in the park under that giant tree. I kept my groan to myself, but I was really frustrated with Jason for interrupting our evening with this stupid stunt.
"I'm so sorry our night got interrupted. I really wish I could be with you more." I pulled away, but I knew I had done the right thing. Jason needed attention.
"Hey, it's okay. We have like sixty to eighty years to figure this out, right?" David chuckled and pecked me on the cheek. "I'm just a phone call away if you need me."
He backed away until our clasped hands broke free and my arm fell to my side, and I watched him walk toward the stairs and vanish down the stairwell. I reminded myself that Jason hadn't purposefully broken up my date, but I was still angry with him. He was supposed to be more responsible than this, and I was at a complete loss as to what to do with him.
I walked back into the apartment to find him with the remote in hand, surfing through channels. He was so casual, so nonchalant about this whole thing, even laughing at the cops at one point. I was livid. I marched over and stole the remote and turned the television off.
"Hey!"
"I can't believe you! What the heck were you thinking!?" My chest was heaving and I felt a little lightheaded, probably from high blood pressure. I was also so emotional, tears welling up and refusing to go back when I blinked.
"I didn't do anything. They're wrong. I wasn’t dealing drugs." He scoffed and shook his head at me, standing to march to his room, but I followed him.
"They have enough drugs on you to put you away for ten years." I shoved my sneaker in the door as he tried to slam it and it bounced back. "Ten years, Jason. You need to go to rehab and get clean. And you need to stop hanging out with those people."
He picked up his pillow and threw it at me, then grabbed his backpack and shoved his phone charger into it before slinging it onto his back. "You need to let me grow up and stop trying to parent me. I get that you did what you had to do when Dad died, but let me be an adult now." He said the words with such a hostile tone that it was worse than a smack to the face.
I raced after him when he pushed past me, but he stormed out the door and into the hallway before I could stop him. I stood there sobbing, wondering if he was right. Maybe I'd done all I could do for him and he had to grow up and face the consequences of his life choices. But how could I just stand by and watch him destroy himself?
I sank onto the couch to cry my heart out, wishing David hadn't left, but it was better that he had. I never wanted him to hear me talk to Jason like that, or anyone, for that matter. Jason and I were siblings, and he was so young and immature. And I totally knew better. I knew how to be mature and responsible and treat people with respect and walk away when they lacked the same respect for me. But it was different with him. I was too close, my heart too vulnerable to stay calm. I was afraid for him.
A light knock on my door startled me. I knew it wasn't Jason because he'd either have his key or bang on the door in anger. This knock was a normal knock, and it forced me to my feet. Swiping at my tear-streaked face, I peeked through the peephole. I figured it was one of my neighbors who'd heard the shouting and come to tell me to quiet down. What I saw was my best friend and upstairs neighbor with a pint of ice cream in her hand and two spoons.
"Let me in, woman. I heard him go off again." She knocked again, harder this time, and I opened the door.
"Amber, my God. I just don't know what to do with him anymore." I stood aside as she walked in and saw one of the neighbors down the hall scowling at me. I shut the door and spun around, feeling like a total loser.
"Don't worry about Henry. I told him to buzz off for you." She thrust out a spoon toward me, and I took it and followed her to the couch.
"He's gonna kill himself, Amber. I just know it. He's hurting, and I can't stop the hurt, and he won’t see a counselor. He says they don't help. And he's using again." I plopped down next to her, and as soon as she had the lid off the ice cream, I plunged my spoon into it and scooped out a large bite.
"He's not going to kill himself." I knew she was trying to help, but she hadn't seen the guy on that gurney in the ER next to Jason. Overdose was a real possibility.
"I…" I burst into tears, sobbing so hard I couldn't have another bite. It was too much for me. I was losing it. I had never been so upset about this, though I'd also never seen my brother sitting next to the hospital bed of a dying overdose patient.
"Hey," Amber said, setting the ice cream down. "You're so emotional this time, babe." She patted my back, but it didn’t help. I didn't understand what the heck was going on. She was right. I never got this riled up. I was usually able to stay calm, or at least not break into hysterics and tears.
"I don’t know!" I wailed, feeling like I'd fall apart any second.
"Babe, what's going on? Are you pregnant or something?" Amber chuckled, and I shook my head. There was no way. David and I were always so careful, and I'd know if I was pregnant. My period was a little late, but I was under a lot of stress with everything.
"No," I countered bluntly. I used my sleeve to wipe my eyes and shoved the spoon into the ice cream container and flopped backward onto the couch. I didn't have the mental capacity to even entertain that thought longer than a second.
Until it became the only thing I could think about.
"Are you sure? You're not even eating this delicious ice cream." Amber waved her spoon in my face and I closed my eyes.
More stress was the last thing I needed. I had to deal with my brother. I didn't have time for a baby right now. Though the idea of having something that intimate with David threatened to make my lips curl upward even though I was so upset with Jason.
What the heck would I do if I really was pregnant? How would David react? We'd just promised to keep our relationship a secret a little while longer, and a huge baby bump wouldn't be the easiest thing to keep a secret.