20. Ethan
20
ETHAN
TWO MONTHS LATER
I ’m standing at the nurse’s station, signing a few documents when I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. I don’t lift my head, but I turn it slightly, seeing Ally give me a flirty smile before she enters the supply closet.
Her blue eyes sparkle, and her cheeks turn that light shade of red that I’ve become addicted to over the past couple of months.
We haven’t been able to stay away from one another like we first agreed.
Looking back now, I’m glad. These past months have been better than the past six years combined. I don’t know what this means for our future.
Even though I am healing from the loss of my wife, I’m not completely healed. I still have a lot of work to do, but Ally is patient. She doesn’t push for things I’m not ready for. Nor does she push me into talking about things I’m not ready to discuss.
She just accepts me for who I am, and for what I’m okay with giving her.
We’ve spent more and more time with one another. We try to avoid one another as much as we can at work, but once we’re off the clock, that’s off the table. We have dinner together most nights, and she stays at my place when she doesn’t have class in the morning. The nights I spend with her wrapped around me are the ones I’m most thankful for. The nights I spend alone are usually sleepless, lost in thoughts of her and the memories we’ve created.
Seeing the flicker in her eyes and her sexy smile, my body begins to come alive with tingles. I look around, noticing there’s nobody around that saw her go into the supply room. Even if someone walks out of a patient room and sees me walk into the supply room, they still wouldn’t know I was in there with her. I drop the pen in my hand onto the desk and turn, moving toward the supply room, opening the door, and slipping inside. There’s only a single light in the ceiling, and the shelves are so tall that the light doesn’t reach the back very well.
I move through the aisles until I find her in one of the rows. She looks over her shoulder at me, offering a smile. “What are you doing in here? Did you follow me?” she asks, stocking the rolling cart with supplies.
“You could say that,” I reply, walking down the row until I’m standing behind her. I press my groin against her ass and my hand moves around to her stomach. “I saw that sexy smile and thought you were asking for something.” I nip her earlobe.
She tilts her head, exposing her neck to me. “What would I be asking for?”
I dip my head lower, kissing her neck as my hand slides downward. I push past the elastic of her scrub pants and her panties until my fingers dip between her legs. “Looks to me like you need to come.” Her pussy is already dripping with need, so my fingers move easily between her folds.
Her head falls back against my chest as she lets out a heavy breath. “You mean the orgasm I had in the shower this morning has already worn off?” she teases.
“I’m sorry, what? I still have too much water in my ears to hear you,” I tease, thrusting my fingers into her.
She drops the box in her hand so she can hold onto the shelf.
With my fingers buried in her sweet pussy, I grind the palm of my hand against her sensitive clit. I wiggle my fingers while thrusting them in and out, slowly building her up. “You better hurry up before someone walks in here,” I warn, whispering in her ear.
“Faster,” she pants.
I quicken my movements, fucking her with my fingers as quickly as I can move my arm. I kiss her neck and bite her sensitive skin. My other hand moves up to cup her breast, and I pinch her hard nipple between my fingers. Her knuckles turn white as she clings to the shelf, and her body starts to harden against mine. Her breathing becomes labored, and I know she’s close to coming. A few more strokes from my fingers has her shattering. She rides out every wave in my arms and when she comes to a stop, I kiss her jaw and remove my hand. I take a step back, but she spins around to face me.
“Wait. Your turn,” she says, grabbing for my belt.
I catch her wrist in mine. “Sorry, love, we don’t have time. Looks like you owe me one,” I tease, sucking her arousal from my fingers before turning to walk toward the door.
I step back out into the hallway, glancing in both directions. Everything is as it was, and nobody is any wiser. It takes every bit of strength, but I hold back a smile as I start toward my office with my hands in my pockets to conceal the massive erection I’m sporting.
When I get to my office, I step inside and remove my lab coat. I hang it on the coat rack in the corner before going to my private bathroom. I take a leak while briefly considering jacking off to relieve myself, but I decide not to. It’ll be so much better tonight when I can have her all to myself if I refrain now. I wash my hands and step back out into my office.
I’ve just sat behind my desk when my door opens, and she walks in. I look up at her with a smirk. “Couldn’t stand owing me, huh?” I roll my chair back and lift my hips as I push my pants down. “Alright, have your way with me, but make it quick. We don’t want anyone to notice that we’re both missing.”
She rounds my desk and rolls her eyes, but then she falls to her knees before me. Wrapping her hand around my cock, she bends forward, running her tongue up my shaft and around my tip.
“Fuck,” I moan just before she sucks me into her mouth. She pushes me to the back of her throat and sucks, working me forward and back. Her mouth feels so good. My head falls back against the chair and my eyes close, savoring the moment. She pushes me closer and closer to my breaking point, but I don’t let myself fall over the edge. I know I said we had to be quick, but now that we’re here, that’s the last thing I want.
I lace my fingers into her hair and pull her away. “Fuck me,” I curse. “Pull down your pants and bend over my desk,” I demand, both of us standing.
She does what I ask, and she does it quickly. She pulls down her pants and panties and bends over my desk until her chest is against the top. I grab ahold of my dick and guide it through her folds. She’s still wet from our time in the supply room, so I easily rock into her. Her walls tighten around me, and my eyes fall closed. “Yes, that’s it,” I breathe, grinding against her.
I tighten my hold on her hips and fuck her hard and fast. Within minutes, we’re both shattering. I slow to a stop, not backing out as I work to get a handle on myself. The minute I can move my body again, I take a step back and pull out. I tuck myself away in my pants and help her stand. Then I squat down and put her panties in place before doing the same with her scrub bottoms. I lean in, kissing her stomach once she’s fully covered and her top falls back into place.
From my place on my knees, I look up and meet her eyes. That’s when I see the look of stress, worry, and fear.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Did you hear what I said, Ethan?” Amelia says. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby! Can you believe it?” She’s all smiles. Her eyes are even sparkling as she jumps up.
I snap out of my daze just in time to catch her. Her legs wrap around my hips, and her arms wind around my neck. She hugs me. I can feel her love and excitement, but I can also feel all my worry, confusion, and regret.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I agreed to try, but I never thought it would happen. I thought I was just placating her. I thought I’d pretend to try and care while not changing anything. I know it’s wrong to lie, but I thought I was saving my marriage. Now I see that the only thing I’ve done is end it.
“Can you believe it? We’re going to be parents,” she breathes.
My heart is racing so fast that it feels like it could explode. My lungs are burning for air, but I’m breathing, aren’t I? My head begins to swim as dizziness takes over. Fuck, maybe I’m not breathing. I shuffle to the side, and she’s quick to release me.
“Whoa, are you okay?” she asks, grabbing hold of my arm to steady me.
“I’m fine.” It’s the only words I’ve been able to get out. I didn’t have a response when she told me the news. I haven’t uttered a word, and the ones I finally get out are a lie. I’m not fine. I’m pissed off. I’m hurt. I’m scared. And I did this to myself. I don’t know what to say, I just know that I have to be careful. I need space. I need to get away. I need time to process this. “I’m sorry. I just need some time,” I tell her, running from the kitchen. I move down the hallway and into my home office. I shut the door behind me before rushing over to the drink cart in the corner. My hand is shaking so much that the glass decanter clinks against the glass as I pour myself a shot. I throw back the liquid, not tasting it or even feeling the burn. I pour another, doing the same. I move to pour a third and then say fuck it and take the decanter to my desk with me. I’ll drink straight out of the bottle.
I push the button on the remote, and the fire comes to life in the fireplace behind my desk. I turn in my chair to watch the flames, knowing I won’t get any work done even if I try to make myself.
I wonder how pissed she is at me right now. Months of trying for a baby, she finally gets pregnant. She’s probably been dreaming about the moment she comes to me with the news, and I bet this isn’t the reaction she expected. I ruined this night for her. I feel guilty about that, but then again, I don’t. I might have ruined the night, but she’s ruined my life.
I guess there’s always the chance that everything could turn out fine, but I know that won’t happen. I can feel it in my gut. I feel it like a blind man can feel the wind. I know how this ends, and now, I don’t know how to stop it. I know there’s no way she’ll terminate the pregnancy. Fuck… How could she do this to us?
“Ethan? Did you hear me?” Ally’s brows lift. “I’m pregnant,” she says again.
I stumble back and stand, turning away.
“I know how you feel about this. I know it wasn’t planned.”
“How?” is all I can say when I turn to face her.
“How?”
“How did you get pregnant? We had that talk for a reason! You know I didn’t want this.”
Her brows draw together, causing a line to form between them. Anger is etched around her eyes, but there’s a softness about them, too. My reaction is clearly upsetting to her. “I was a virgin the first time we slept together, Ethan. I wasn’t on birth control. There was no need to be,” she reminds me. “I started it soon after, but I guess the damage had already been done.” She crosses her arms.
“What the fuck,” falls from my lips so softly that I’m not sure if she heard. “What are we going to do?”
“I… I don’t know,” she admits, her eyes falling to the floor.
“Forget the fact that neither of us knows what this is between us, to begin with, what about the hospital? What do you think will happen when they find out that you’re pregnant? And that I’m the father?” My eyes widen when I think about all the ways I’ve fucked up.
“They won’t find out you’re the father.”
“You’re having a child, Ally. They’re going to know. All it takes is for the lady who does the birth certificate to tell one person, and the whole thing spreads like wildfire.”
“Then I won’t put your name on it.”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe this.” I grab my jacket and pull it on. “We agreed to three things,” I say, opening my desk drawer and grabbing my keys. “Don’t fall in love.” I hold up one finger. “Don’t expect marriage.” I hold up two fingers. “And no kids.” I hold up three fingers now. “Three things, and you couldn’t even give me those.” My hand falls to my side, and I shake my head as I turn and push my way out the door.
How the fuck am I going to fix this?