2. Dodge
TWO
DODGE
Her cries are sharp knives to my heart as I rush through the clubhouse. At this time of day, it’s mostly empty. A few of the men, off from their jobs, linger out front or in one of the living rooms, glancing at me with pity-filled stares as I pass without a word.
When I reach the back room we’ve been trying to designate as a family space, Lacey looks up with a sheepish expression. At least she’s covered in leggings and a T-shirt, instead of her usual tight shorts and bikini top. If any of the women have to watch her, I like Lacey the most.
“I’m sorry, Dodge. I’m not very good with kids,” she says, shuffling some of the toys off her lap to stand .
“It’s okay,” I mutter, picking up Winnie and cradling her to my chest. It’s not like Lacey is supposed to be watching her anyway, but I guess my father asked her to cover for a few minutes, and no one has seen him since. Fucking bastard.
I give Lacey a bleak smile. “Thanks for calling me.”
She pats my arm. “Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.
” And because she can’t help herself, her fingers trail down my bicep to my elbow suggestively.
Most of the clubwhores pay their way through cooking, cleaning, or fucking.
It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone, especially a clubwhore.
Ember baby-trapped me, and I learned my lesson hard.
Winnie is my world, but I’m not dipping my dick in any of the club’s women again.
Shrugging off her touch, I grab Winnie’s bag and make my way up to the clubhouse office.
Gage is still at the garage, and I figure it will be a quiet place to get Winnie to eat before getting her home.
I’m one of the few members who have the keys, so I’m stunned when I open the door and find it occupied.
Shaw, our old president and Gage’s father, sits at the desk.
He looks up at me, waving me in when I pause at the doorway.
“I’m finishing up some paperwork, and then taking off back to Mik,” he says, wagging his fingers at Winnie as she lifts her head to stare at him. “Hi, sweet girl.”
Shaw frowns, his eyes taking in her sniffles and red eyes. “Where’s Bear? Shouldn’t he be watching her?”
I shake my head, dropping the bag onto the couch and swallowing down the annoyed laugh threatening to escape.
“Your guess is as good as mine. I would have gone up to my room, but honestly can’t remember the last time I did or what’s become of it.
” As soon as I found out Ember was pregnant, I worked toward getting us our own place.
A two-bedroom apartment with an office I converted to a nursery.
It’s in a good part of town, better than anywhere she ever lived, but she was gone before I even signed the lease.
The place feels a little big for just the two of us, but the privacy from the club and their delinquent behavior has been rewarding enough for what I pay in rent.
He chuckles. “I’m sure it’s been fair game for anyone who needed a bed.”
I nod, handing my daughter over to him when he holds out his arms. Shaw isn’t a small man, and he makes her look tiny in his hold. My old prez sways side to side with my little girl as I prepare her bottle .
“They grow so fast. I used to think she was the tiniest thing, but now we have Dillion at home, she seems so big.”
He twists the knife in my heart deeper because I feel the same.
I can’t remember a time before her, but it’s passing dangerously fast. I can’t imagine how Shaw must feel, given he’s already raised Gage, and we’ve all known Mikayla since she was a small girl, even if she didn’t spend much time at the clubhouse.
Now that they all have a newborn at home, it’s probably a surreal experience.
Most of us don’t bother thinking about the logistics of their relationship.
It’s better to just shrug it off and worry about ourselves.
Shaking the bottle, I grab her from him and sink onto the couch. While she drinks it down, my head rests against the back of the cushion.
“You know, if your father isn’t being reliable, I can ask Mik about taking her for a few hours,” Shaw says.
I shake my head again, feeling the exhaustion from the permanent worry lines etched on my forehead down to my boots.
“Nah. I don’t want to overwhelm her. I’ll figure it out.
I should have assumed that when Bear hung up his cut at the same time as you, he’d want to enjoy it to the fullest.” It’s been a constant spiral of trying to catch up since Ember’s overdose, my cousin’s betrayal, and figuring out my new normal with a baby all by myself.
A knock at the office door has us both tensing, and then Razer opens it, looking around until he finds me and nods.
“Hey, Prez,” he says to Shaw.
“Not your prez,” Shaw replies. It’s an automatic response on both their parts. Most of us grew up with Shaw as our president. It’s been a transition over the past year adjusting to Gage’s leadership. Not that any of us respect him any less. He’s just a different leader than his father.
Razer rolls his eyes and turns back to me. “Tink found a nanny for you.”
My eyebrows raise. “What?” This is the first I’ve heard of it, and since Tink’s old man passed away, she hasn’t come around the clubhouse much. She spends most of her days taking care of the bar she inherited, and none of us complain, given the damn good job she does.
He shrugs. “Some sweet little thing came into the bar, down on her luck, and needed a job. Guess her experience. ”
Annoyance flickers through me, and even Shaw looks skeptical at the statement. It seems a little too convenient for my taste, and there’s another thing that’s pissing me off.
“Talking to outsiders about my business?” I ask. The bite in my word makes the man stand straighter.
Razer has the decency to look ashamed from my cold tone. “Look, she’s got a lot of experience. Hell, probably more than any of us do. Told her to come to the clubhouse tomorrow so you can check her out.”
I groan, looking down at my daughter. The possibility of an outsider coming to watch her fries my already short nerves.
But I’m running out of options, and the garage is falling behind.
The last time we tried to keep her in a playpen, she screamed til her little face was red because of the noise from some of the machines we use.
Shaw crosses his arms, then he shrugs. “No harm in checking her out. We can always just kick her out if it’s not gonna work.”
“Yeah, because kicking out outsiders always goes so well,” I mutter.
Most of the people who hang around are women looking to be picked up as clubwhores, and the last round of prospects for brothers were slim pickings.
All of them keep coming back thinking we’re going to change our minds about letting them in.
Razer snorts. “She seemed pretty low maintenance.”
Shaw shakes his head. “Let the prospect know to let her in at the gate.” That’s another thing to get used to.
After the cops showed up unannounced last year, we installed a large gate that requires a man to power it.
It’s weird to speak about a prospect handling who comes and goes at our clubhouse.
So many changes in our club life lately, I can barely settle on any of them.
I bury my annoyance; there’s nothing else I can say. I have no valid reason to turn her down outright. I guess I have a nanny interview tomorrow, whether I want it or not.