10. Autumn
TEN
AUTUMN
“Dada!” Winnie screeches, stumbling over to where Dodge is sitting on the couch.
He grins at her, setting the beer down on the side table and picking her up. “Hi, baby girl! Where were you at?” he asks her, but his eyes shift to me. I’m sure he was a little peeved to come home to an empty house, but I didn’t expect him to be home so early.
I hold up the bags of Chinese food. “You tell Daddy that we got some yummy food.”
Winnie babbles something with a similar effect, Dada and yummy the only clearly distinguishable parts of the sentence. Though yummy sounds more like gummy .
He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? Well, that’s good because Daddy is hungry.”
It’s an innocent sentence, so why do the words shoot heat right to my throbbing center? Maybe it’s because I can imagine Dodge saying that with his head between my legs and meaning it. God, I should not be thinking that of my boss.
I swallow down the knot in my throat and turn quickly to the kitchen to grab some plates. He follows me in, setting Winnie in her high chair. His hand brushes against my back as he grabs the separate plate we keep for her.
He keeps, not we.
I hold my breath until the heat from his hand falls off, and I try to blow out discreetly. If only he knew how much he’s affecting me. Can he tell how tense my body is just being around him? It’s ridiculous, and totally my problem because I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him.
My boss, I remind myself for the hundredth time.
It does not matter if I caught him moaning? —
He moves to stand next to me. “You get the chicken lo mein I recommended? It’s the best.”
I startle, then flash him a quick smile. “Of course. And a few extras since you were so kind to pay.”
Dodge chuckles, and I’m ashamed to admit that it makes my nipples harden in my bra. He nudges my shoulder, and heat courses through my spine. “Whatever you want, Autumn, I’m more than willing to do.”
Oh my god. I need him to shut up. That’s what I want him to do. Stop filling my head with delusions and temptations.
“Dada!” Winnie yells again.
I smirk, hiding my flushed cheeks as I laugh. “Daddy, you’re being called. Here, take some noodles.”
When I look up at him, I nearly gasp at the heat flickering in his eyes before he takes the plate and turns away.
I blink. I had to be imagining that, right?
Ugh. I almost groan when I remember the promise I’ve already broken to myself, I called him Daddy twice.
I’ve been trying to be more careful not to do that lately, the word lingering on my tongue in a way that it shouldn’t.
I’m just an employee, the nanny, and that’s it.
I make up my plate of food and hurry to the table as Dodge trades off with me to make his own. Then we’re all eating in silence aside from Winnie’s loud smacking against the highchair tray.
“How’s school going?” he asks, and I nearly choke on my bite from being lost in my scolding thoughts to myself.
I swallow it and then focus on him. “Good. We’re only a few weeks into the semester, but it’s honestly easier, given I don’t have to share a room with someone more interested in partying.”
Dodge laughs. “You didn’t party much?”
I shake my head. “No, I was the nerdy roommate that stayed home. Cramped her style when trying to bring someone home.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “And what about you? You ever bring anyone home?”
“Uh, no,” I say. My eyes fall back to my food. I must sound like such a loser to a biker. “I didn’t have time with working and school. ”
He shifts on his chair. “Yeah, I get that. If I’m not here, I’m at work. Or when the club needs help I’m there, but that’s few and far between now.”
“Oh. Well, if you want to like go on a date or something, I can watch Winnie. That’s not a big deal,” I ramble, wanting to smack myself on my forehead.
A date, Autumn? What the fuck? I don’t want him to go on a date or have him thinking about dating.
Dodge is silent for a moment, and then I briefly glance up at him, seeing the strange expression on his face before he shoves another bite into his mouth.
I try not to let the silence get to me and nearly jump when he clears his throat.
“I’m not a man that dates,” he says.
I bite down on my lip, not looking up at him as he continues.
“I’m a man that sees a woman that he wants and pursues her. Sometimes only for a night, sometimes longer. But dating? That ain’t my thing.”
It seems like a trap to ask, but I do it anyway. “What’s your thing? ”
“Fucking.”
I should have guessed as much, and it doesn’t surprise me. It still sends a flash of heat through me, and I try to discreetly squeeze my thighs together. A reminder of what I saw, what I dreamed of.
When I don’t answer right away, Dodge clears his throat again. “There’s a party down at the bar tomorrow night. Got a babysitter for Winnie if you want to come.”
I blink, stunned a little by the invitation. “Oh, uh, I can watch Winnie. That’s not a problem.”
He frowns. “It’s your day off regardless, and I usually take over for the night. I just thought you might want to take advantage, let loose a bit. Never too late to have a little fun. It’s gonna be most of the club celebrating one of my brothers coming home.”
“From jail?” It slips out before I can stop it, and embarrassment heats my cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—oh my god. I’m sorry.”
Dodge chuckles. “Nah, I get it. No worries. And no, he’s more of a nomad, not staying in one place for long. He was in Arizona for the better part of a year, so he’s just coming home. ”
Because I really don’t want him to think I’m judging him or his clubhouse, I paste on a smile. “Thanks, I’d love to come.”
One can only describe his returning grin as victorious. A bar is not usually my scene, but it’s the second time Dodge has tried to involve me in his life beyond Winnie, and with no other friends or family, I have nothing to lose by branching out.
I pull up to the clubhouse, my knuckles tightening over the steering wheel. The prospect, I think his name is Fox, had told me that Dodge hadn’t arrived yet, and it felt awkward to be here without him.
When the front door swings open, and I recognize the woman walking toward us, I relax a little.
“It’s Lacey, if you don’t remember,” she says with a smile as I climb out.
I nod. “I remember you, yeah.”
She grins, waving at Winnie through the window. “Shaw and Mik said they’re running a little late if you want to wait for them. Or Bear is here to help if we need it.”
My eyebrows dip and I frown. “Bear?”
Lacey looks at me, a little confused. “Dodge’s father. He hasn’t swung by to visit?”
I shake my head. Dodge had mentioned that his father isn’t that reliable. But most of these people have been watching Winnie before I even came into the picture, so my worry seems misplaced.
We both turn as a group of people stagger out of the clubhouse. Their laughter is loud, but joyous. Some of the men wear cuts like Dodge’s.
Daisy walks over to us with a bright grin. “Hey, you made it! Want a ride to the bar? Easier on parking when we all dump into the trucks.”
I blink, surprised by the offer. “Uhm, yeah sure.” We haven’t spent much time at the clubhouse, and I wonder why now, since they’re always such kind people.
Lacey bumps my shoulder. “It will be fun. Once Mik and Shaw grab Winnie, I’ll hitch a ride there and meet you. ”
Smiling, I pass her Winnie’s bag and unbuckle the baby that holds my heart in her small palms. I tickle her belly.
“I’m going to miss you, Winnie girl,” I coo to her.
I follow them through the clubhouse to one of the backrooms; it looks different than one I’d seen before.
“Gage is renovating. Apparently, it’s time to have a family side,” Daisy explains, looking over the soft couches and fluffy rug in the center. Instead of a bar on one wall, there’s a large wooden playset for toddlers.
Lacey laughs. “It’s more than his father ever did. Shaw and Bear had no shame about what those kids saw. At least that’s what my mama says.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Your mom was part of the club too?”
“Something like that. Second generation clubwhore. They protected me growing up because I was a daughter of a brother. They just didn’t care what happened to me after, no qualms about me joining the club unlike others.”
Daisy nudges her shoulder. “Not all of us have protective stepbrothers who have been in love with us for years. Just the luck of the draw. ”
They both sigh, and I decide not to ask for clarification on whatever they mean.
I set Winnie down on the rug, and she instantly turns to crawl over to the jungle gym.
Lacey walks with her, letting Winnie pull herself up to her feet on the arched wooden dials.
“I’ve got her, Autumn. I’m sure Dodge is waiting for you at the bar,” she tells me gently. “Mik will be here soon.”
I nod, biting my lip in worry. My heart is torn in two pieces: wanting to stay with Winnie and have a night out with Dodge.
Daisy hooks her elbow into mine and guides me out of the room.
“Nope, don’t look back. It makes it harder,” she says when I almost glance over my shoulder at Winnie’s excited shriek.
I blow out a long breath. “You’re right. It’s just hard. I don’t usually do this.”
Her eyebrow raises. “Do what?”
“Like go out, hang with friends. I had work and I had school. ”
Daisy stares at me in shock. “Are you serious? Well then, I’m determined to show you a good time.”
I smile, but we’re both stopped short as a man steps in front of us. He’s young, younger than me for sure. He’s good looking, but I notice he doesn’t have a cut. When I finally look up at him, I recognize him from my first day here.
Daisy puts her other hand on her hip. “Move out of the way, Steel. We've got a party to get to.”
He sighs. “I know I have to watch the gate again, but it’s my birthday…and I thought…”
“Prospects can’t touch us,” she says, but her eyes are looking over him hungrily.
He nods. “Right, right, but they never said anything about you touching us.”
I snort, clapping my hand over my mouth.
Steel grins. “See, Autumn gets it. I can see why Dodge is so obsessed with her. That’s why he?—”
“Okay. One blowjob. In the room before you talk your way out of getting patched,” Daisy says, letting go of me to push him right through the door we’d stopped at in the hallway .
My eyes are wide as she kneels right then and there while reaching to undo his jeans. I hurry down the hallway, my cheeks aflame as I rush out the front door.
Fox is smoking right by a line of bikes, and he stops talking to look over at me.
“You okay? Look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he calls out. He stomps his cig on the ground.
I nod quickly. “Yeah, just—it was nothing.”
His lips pull up in an amused smirk. “Saw something you don’t usually see?”
“Yeah,” I admit, holding my arms over myself.
Fox laughs, but it’s not a mocking. “If he found Daisy, they’ll be out shortly. But if he ran into Bambi…then we might have to leave without him.”
The blush goes hotter, and I ignore him, staring down the driveway into the darkening night.
His phone chimes, and then he swears. “Alright. Got to get you over to the bar before Dodge blows a gasket.” Fox snorts, muttering something under his breath about having to save that one .
And true to his word, within the next minute Daisy and Steel come tumbling out of the front door together. I stand a little straighter, not looking over at either one.
“We good?” Daisy whispers to me.
I frown, my eyebrows dipping before I finally concede and glance at her. “What do you mean?”
“Like you won’t tell Dodge, right?”
Tell Dodge that she was giving someone a blowjob? Why would I ever do that?
“Uhm, no.”
She smiles. “Thank you. Steel is a good kid, just a little immature. He’ll get better with age, I’m sure.”
I nod, not sure what else to say. Thankfully, Fox pulls up with a large SUV and I beeline to climb in. Daisy sits next to me, using a mirror balanced on her knee to fix her eyeliner.
“Can I ask you something?”
She glances at me, wiping off the smudged lipstick. “Yeah, but depending on what it is, I might not answer.”
That’s not a comforting thought, but I push it away. I can feel the eyes of the men sitting up front on me .
“Dodge said that some of the people in the town didn’t like you guys, but you seem so excited to go party there. Aren’t you afraid it will make things worse?”
She snorts. “Oh honey, if we ever cared about what they thought, we’d have been run out of here a long time ago.” She settles into her seat, closing the mirror with a sharp snap.
“When Shaw and Bear first moved here with a few of the other old-timers, I guess they were trying to make this town like one of those fancy high-end resort vacation spots. The club bought up a lot of property before the proposal could go through, or whatever it is they did, and some of the old money bastards have been pissy ever since. As if our money is any different than theirs, you know?” Daisy waves her hand with an eye roll.
Fox sighs. “Growing up, all I heard about is how bad the club makes our town look. Yet every time I asked my dad how, he just complained about how noisy the bikes are.”
Steel nods from the passenger seat. “Yup. It’s like having a common enemy to hate. Bands the community together, but a lot of shit just gets all kinds of mucked up with opinions over facts. ”
“It seems so trivial,” I say. I don’t want to admit that I don’t believe them, but it’s hard to think that people are so prejudiced over something that small.
Daisy shrugs. “Because it is. There’s one half that hates us, and the other that can recognize the money we bring in for the town, and we’re not causing trouble.
That half is what saves us from actually getting kicked out.
All the whiney bitches that go to, like, the meetings and what not that try to pass bullshit laws under the guise of protecting the children.
That kind of thing? At least there’s some good neighbors with a lick of common sense. ”
My lips pull into a smile. “Sad to say, but I don’t think I ever really paid attention.”
She nods with a hum. “Yeah, most people don’t until it starts to affect them. What matters is paying attention going forward, and we refuse to allow a bunch of prudes to run us out.”
Fox lets out a holler and honks the horn, and that makes us both startle. “To not being prudes!”
I shake my head as Steel joins, nearly howling out the window. The short ride to the bar seems infinitely long with their shenanigans drawing the attention of every car and person we pass.