Chapter 10
Ten
Paloma
I didn’t need to be an expert at reading people to know that I’d fucked up. I couldn’t have helped it if I’d tried. That Omega, that little beast who lived inside me, saw that big Alpha, sensed his pain, and it was like I no longer had control of my limbs or my thoughts. She wanted, and she took.
His pain was like a burn beneath my skin, his trauma beating against my brain over and over. Pain. Fear. Anger. Pain. Fear. Anger. Then briefly, he’d look at me, and it would be adoration. Wonder. Joy. Then he’d look at the guys again, and it would be back to pain.
I didn’t understand what was happening right now, though I knew I’d bonded him. They’d said as much. I’d tied us together for life without his permission, and guilt ate at my gut.
Picking at the skin of my forearms, I listened as they discussed what had to happen. I’d bonded him, and he needed to bond me back to turn off the battering waves of his emotions.
Fear. Pain. Anger.
I whined and crawled back into his lap. I felt so guilty. Leader Malakai had been right; I was a curse on society. I was a selfish, selfish child who took what she wanted, without thought of anyone else.
Llew didn’t kick me off, didn’t throw me away like trash, didn’t scowl at me in disgust. No, this Alpha that I’d just attacked and trapped, wrapped me back up in his arms and walked me to the bed in his room, curling his huge body around mine and purring softly.
He growled when Max stepped forward to take me back. “She’s fine,” Llew grumbled, and as I snuggled further into the cocoon of his warmth, I had to agree. I was fine. Perfect.
Wonder. Joy. Fear. Pain. Anger.
“How do we break the bond?” Rio asked softly, and my Omega whined and cried harder.
I didn’t want to break the bond. He was mine. Mine.
“She claimed him before she bit him. We have to consider that perhaps they’re… that they might be…” Rio trailed off.
I just wanted to scream, What?! We’re what?
As if he could see the question on my face, August squatted down in front of me. “Fated mates. There’s an idea that they once existed, but it doesn’t happen much anymore. However, given that Llew’s Alpha is so close to the surface, and your Omega has been constrained for so long, perhaps it was a perfect storm.”
My Omega hummed at that, or maybe it was Llew’s purr. It was nice—different to Rio’s, rougher and maybe not as soothing, but still, it made me feel secure. Safe. Everything was okay.
“He should bond me back.” My voice sounded more sure than I felt.
They all looked at me like I was an alien. “I don’t think you’re in a position, within yourself, to know what that would mean. Not just for now, but forever. There’s no undoing a completed bond, Paloma.” August’s voice was soft and sure, not judging, just informing.
I frowned. “Bonding him was the first thing I ever did for myself.” Even if I hadn’t understood why at the time, I still didn’t regret it. “I might be oblivious to the world around me, but my instincts are just fine. I know what I feel from him, and it feels right.” I didn’t mention the negative emotions. Rolling over, I looked at Llew. “Unless… you want to break the bond?” I hated how fragile my voice sounded at that moment.
His eyes ran across my face. They were large and hazel, like they hadn’t been able to decide on a color and settled on both, and I could see his brain turning over. More than that, I could feel it through the bond in my chest. His yearning to keep the bond. The guilt that I’d be saddled with him. The selfish urge to bond me back. The feeling of responsibility was like a heavy weight on his shoulders.
I didn’t understand anything about the world, but I understood this. I understood him.
Hesitantly, he shook his head. “I don’t want to break the bond. I don’t think the Alpha would allow me to, even if I could.”
Something relaxed in my chest. He wanted me back. In a move that was almost entirely instinctual, I tilted my head to the side, exposing my throat to the Alpha behind me.
Rio stepped forward, and I held out an arm to stop him. I wanted this.
I felt a bearded cheek scrape along my skin, up over the nape of my neck. He inhaled deeply, and it made something deep in my gut clench with need. Lips brushed my skin, and I held so still, waiting.
“Are you sure about this, Paloma?” His voice was barely a whisper against my ear, but my lips curled. I was sure. Surer about this than anything since I’d been dragged away from the only home I’d known.
“Yes. I’m sure.”
“This will hurt a little. I’m sorry.” Then he bit me. And he wasn’t wrong; it did hurt. More than a little, it hurt a lot, making me scream.
Everyone lurched toward me, but then my scream turned into a moan as the bond settled between us. The bad emotions were gone in an instant. No more fear. No more pain. No more anger. There was only joy and pleasure.
I moaned, and the energy in the room changed dramatically. August let out a small sound between his teeth that could have been a whine. Then he looked at my big beast of an Alpha and stuck a finger in his face.
“You do nothing without her express, informed permission. I want you to talk through every little decision, until she’s so sick of talking about it she takes matters into her own hands. She does nothing she could regret. Otherwise, I’ll make you share her regret every single day of the rest of your life.”
He didn’t say how he’d achieve that as an Omega, but he was so vehement, I didn’t doubt him for a second. Neither did Llew, I guess, because he rumbled his agreement.
Something like completeness washed over me, and for the first time in days, weeks, maybe even years, I fell into the deep, contented sleep of someone who knew that they would be safe forever.
I woke in the living room, but still pressed tightly to Llew’s chest. “You’re awake,” he said softly, the warmth of his breath clouding over the top of my head. My cheek was directly over his heart, its steady rhythm soothing in a way I didn’t understand yet.
A lot had happened in a short amount of time, and it was all catching up to me. I just wanted to bury myself in Llew and the security that he blanketed me with, wishing that the first twenty years of my life had been just a bad dream.
There was a light waft of a cocoa scent, and I looked around for August. He was sitting across from us, and the clock on the wall told me it was late, nearly midnight. Why was he still here?
“Hello, Omega. Are you feeling okay? Any ill effects of your… bonding?” I wasn’t sure why he hesitated over the word.
I wanted to feel bad about it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could have controlled the impulse. It was a poor excuse, however. I’d tied the man beneath me to me for life.
I looked up at Llew, whose eyes were as warm and reassuring as his presence. I smiled back at him and felt the pulse of contentment down the bond between us. There were more emotions there, but they felt like they were hidden beneath a thick blanket, only giving me the good and vague awareness of the bad.
“No. I feel… right? Like, inside myself, I feel almost happy?”
Llew rumbled, holding me closer. “Almost is not good enough. I know this isn’t what you planned for your life, but I promise I will make you so happy, you won’t have any regrets.” I could feel his conviction down the bond.
“Considering that my future held either becoming a wife to Leader Malakai, or being sent to be some kind of Omega slave to unknown Alphas, this might be exactly the life I wanted.”
As his body stiffened beneath mine, a low growl pulsed from Llew, a subtle shift in his scent making him smell wild. Scary. Angry and sad, and no longer all the warm feelings that I was previously basking in.
A whine passed my lips, and I crawled up his body until we were cheek to cheek, before wrapping my body around his. I wanted to chase that scent away from him, wanted to bare my teeth at the thing that was causing him to feel this way. But I couldn’t find a threat.
I had ceded control to the Omega again, and August’s words about Omegas soothing their Alphas by scent marking played back through my head. I felt lost, because I instinctively knew how to help, but it made me feel out of control of the only thing that was mine. My body.
Llew let out a deep breath. “Apologies, my Omega. I’m okay now.”
His words were a crooning promise, and the way he said my Omega made a thrill pulse through me. I was his. He was mine. I’d chosen this man in front of me—kind of.
“I just don’t like the idea that there’s someone out there who wanted to hurt you. Who wanted you to be anything but the very center of their world.” He looked over my head at the other men in the room. “Does anyone want to fill me in?” His voice dropped low. “I’m in control, Rio. I swear. Having her is like a gift I didn’t expect, or even deserve. I’ll protect her with my life.” He rubbed his rough beard on my own cheek, and I hummed a happy noise.
How could this be anything but right?