Chapter 12
Twelve
Paloma
I had an anchor in the world, and my attachment to an almost perfect stranger might’ve been cause for concern, but it just felt right. Max had insisted that I sleep in my own room, that I needed time and space to process what had happened today, but he didn’t know what it had been like to be floating through this alone, and now have this barrier of safety surrounding me.
I felt free. I felt like I could explore myself. It helped that I had a direct line to Llew’s feelings. Sure, it wasn’t all sunshine inside his head, but when he looked at me, the joy he felt took my breath away.
Despite all that, I still missed my home. I missed my friends, and the Brothers and Sisters who’d raised me. I missed the barn cat. It might have been all lies, but it was the only life I’d ever known.
All these jumbled thoughts swirling around in my brain was why I found myself creeping into the master suite as the sun just touched the horizon. I hadn’t slept, and my body was so tired that it was almost buzzing. I needed… Well, I guess I needed my Alpha.
The room smelled like Llew, like something wild and masculine. Earthy, yet somehow sweet. Llew was asleep, shifting restlessly in the bed. I hadn’t had time to look around his space yesterday, and I could see pictures of their Pack on the walls. Rio, Max, and Llew were in various poses, back when they were much younger. They must have grown up together, given that there was a picture of Rio with more than a little acne, his arm around Max. Llew was huge, even as a kid, and his grin was wide and carefree.
Who were these boys, and how had they become the damaged men who haunted this house now?
Creeping further into the room, I noted that the bathroom light was on, and the curtains were drawn tightly shut.
“No,” Llew whimpered, and my startled heart jumped in my chest. Looking at the bed, I knew immediately he was having a nightmare. His brow was sweaty, his eyes scrunched tight. The burned smell of his normal ocean scent told me it was bad.
I poked at the new bond in my chest where all Llew’s feelings sat, and I could feel his terror. I whined softly, climbing onto the bed, and I tried to gently push back his wild hair from his sticky forehead.
Suddenly, I was flipped onto my back, a hand around my throat. I went completely still, the panic in Llew’s eyes not directed at me, but some ghost. I couldn’t see the threats he saw, even as panic lit up my own body and I clutched at the wrist around my throat. He was so big, so strong. He wasn’t pressing too hard, but with enough force that my breathing was labored.
“Llew, wake up!” I squeaked, my Omega pheromones billowing around us. Llew’s hand flexed and let go, but he still didn’t wake. Instead, he dropped heavily onto my chest and buried his face into my neck. He sucked in deep breaths, a rumbling groan thrumming through his chest.
Something about the noise made my own body go lax, moving from terror to something else so fast, it made my head spin. When his hand slipped from my throat to wrap around the back of my head, his hips pushed forward, and I realized my thighs were around his waist and his cock was hard at their apex.
I’d touched myself before, even though it was frowned upon by the community, and if any of the Sisters had found out, I would have gotten a beating. Pleasure was not for Omegas on the Homestead. It was for married Alphas and procreating Brothers and Sisters. Never for Omegas.
But those fumbling touches had nothing on the feeling of Llew’s huge body between my thighs, or the way he ground down into me. The pleasure that coursed through my body made me understand how Melize could have tempted Bazric into falling. I knew I should wake Llew up, but instead, I took my pleasure from his sleeping form.
It was wrong.
But it felt so good.
His heavy weight on my chest was making it hard to breathe, though, which made it easier to do the right thing.
I poked him in the eyeball.
His eyes snapped open, and I could see the dawning horror as he realized where he was and what he was doing. “Omega! I’m so—” He shifted off me. “What are you doing in here? Are you okay?”
I decided not to tell him about the fact that he’d almost choked me. I didn’t think any good could come from that, and really, it was my fault for sneaking into his room like a creep. So I let him run to the other side of the bed. “I couldn’t sleep. I thought I might sleep better with you.”
His face softened, and he moved closer. But he still didn’t touch me. The feelings coming down the bond were fear, and some kind of fondness. “Sweet Omega. I’m always here for anything you need, but it’s not safe when I’m asleep. I don’t have complete control. I’m…”—he paused, as if saying the next words hurt—“damaged. I could be dangerous to you.”
Yeah, I’d found that one out the hard way. Instead of saying those words, I reached across the space between us. “Is it bad that I liked it?”
Llew groaned, burying his face in his hands and breathing deeply. “Not bad at all, Sweet Thing. Anything that makes you feel good, that brings you happiness, can’t be bad. Tell me what you need, and I’ll provide it for you. On my honor as your Alpha.” He hesitated. “But I’m not sure you’re ready for what you’re actually asking for.”
“I’m well past the age of maturity.” I wanted to pout. My body felt wired, like it was desperate for something that was sitting just out of reach. “I know what I want. I want to feel good. I want you to make me feel good.” I wasn’t sure where my boldness was coming from right now; I would have never made these demands of an Alpha before. Something about the feel of Llew between my thighs sparked this urge in my body that made me desperate. “Please, Alpha.”
He shuddered, shifting closer. “Are you sure, Paloma? This is all very new, and I don’t want you to rush into anything you’d regret.” I nodded furiously, and I could see his jaw work. “Sweet Thing, you make it hard for an Alpha to keep his head. How about this? I’m not ready for us to take this all the way, not ready to slide inside that delicious body and pull you down onto my knot—” He let out a choked noise. “But I can make you feel good, and help you find release. What do you think?”
I launched myself at his body, done with this distance between us. “Yes, Alpha. Please. ”
His huge hands caught me easily, and he pulled me tightly to his body, his hands remaining gentle. “Have you ever done anything like this before? The guys told me that your old home was pretty, uh, strict.”
I shook my head, hoping that I wasn’t too inexperienced for him. I didn’t want him to change his mind now, especially not when my body was humming at the very idea of what he was offering. “No, but I’m a quick learner.”
He laughed and rolled onto his back, dragging me up until I was chest to chest with him. “I bet you are. First, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to kiss you.”
I sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and held it. I held it even as his lips came towards mine. Held it as they brushed softly against my own. Let my lungs burn as his tongue dipped out and ran along the fullness of my bottom lip.
“Breathe, Paloma,” he whispered against me, and the breath whooshed out of me loudly.
“That was really nice. Everything I’d imagined,” I whispered, and he looked at me seriously.
“Was that your first kiss?” His eyes were burning with intensity, and my stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. I nodded, making him groan. “I’m the luckiest bastard on the whole planet. But I can do better than nice.”
Shifting his head to the side, he plundered my mouth, his tongue licking against the seam of my lips until I opened for him. I did what felt natural, even if it was kind of awkward. Soon enough, I was too lost in his lips, in the soft noises he made, the scratch of his beard, the roaming of his palms to worry about the fact that I was awkward and that this probably felt terrible for him. Like there was too much saliva. Or my tongue wasn’t doing what it was supposed to. I mean, what was a tongue even meant to do?
I was selfish, because I didn’t care. I took and took and took from him until I was moaning softly into his mouth. He had somehow removed my underwear, and I only had one of Rio’s oversized shirts on. His fingers skimmed between my legs, and he sucked in my oxygen along with my tongue.
He moved his head away, breathing deeply. “Baby, you’re going to undo me, especially the way you’re grinding on my stomach.” I realized I was riding his abs, and my cheeks flushed. “I love it, Omega. But now I’m going to want you to do that to my face.”
I blinked down at him. “Your face?”
“My face. I’ll use my tongue to make you feel so good that you’ll be screaming my name.” He kissed me again, his tongue spearing between my lips like he was showing me what he was about to do to my… female parts.
I looked at my thighs spread around his torso. “Will you be able to breathe?”
He grinned, his straight white teeth flashing in the morning sun. “Not if I’m doing it properly.” He gripped my thighs and pulled me up his chest, and even that little bit of friction had me letting out a mewling sound. “Don’t worry, Sweet Thing. I’m going to enjoy every millisecond of this. Hold onto the headboard if you need to, and if you need to stop, just say the word, Paloma. This goes at your pace.”
Lifting me easily, he placed me on his face, and my eyes widened. His face was in the most private part of my body, and the idea almost made me recoil. Maybe I should tell him to stop? But then he leaned up and sucked something, and I felt like my body had been electrocuted.
“Oh my goddess,” I breathed as he eased off, but not for long. Soon, his tongue was sliding inside me, the sensation wholly foreign. He held me to his mouth, and for lack of a better term, fucked me with it. He moved me until his nose was hitting the sensitive little bud at the top of my folds. Something was just there. Something big, something momentous, something that would change my life if I could just grab it.
Then I gripped the headboard as he sucked me hard, and that feeling was like falling into a vat of pure bliss. My whole body shuddered and convulsed, and the sound I made didn’t even appear to be human.
“Holy freaking heck,” I panted, my body feeling heavy and full.
Then I realized I was still on Llew’s face, probably suffocating him. I scrambled back until I was sitting back on his chest. He was grinning, his face shiny with my juices.
I blinked at him, wide-eyed. “That was…” My voice cracked, and he let out a deep, rumbling laugh filled with happiness.
“Yes, it was, Omega. You taste like paradise. I’d ask if you enjoyed it, but I can feel your release coating my face.”
My cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry.”
He pulled my face to his. “I’m not. In fact, I’d like to do that again, whenever you’re ready.”
“Now?” I said with a soft voice. I was addicted. I felt real pleasure, and I wanted to chase that feeling over and over again. “Or do you need to rest?”
He purred low and flipped me onto my back. “What my Omega wants, she gets,” he growled, then moved down my body, shifting up my shirt so he could suck one nipple, then the other. When he moved further down my body and hooked my legs over his shoulders, he stared up at me, his eyes sparkling with pure delight.
I would never forget that sight, not for as long as I lived.