Chapter 20
Twenty
Polly
T he warmth of the sun was making my skin itch where Doodles lay curled up beside me. I was on a quilt in the Packhouse’s backyard, and the little dog was in heaven. He’d tried to lick the inside of my mouth at least a dozen times before he calmed down and fell asleep in the sunshine.
The guys were all busy, even Llew, and I found I didn’t mind being alone for a moment. I could feel Llew’s bond right there, pulsing in my chest. Max was working in his office, and Rio had taken Llew to an appointment with his financial advisor, now that our bond had settled him enough that he could leave the house without going feral.
The last week had been almost normal, which gave me hope that this would be what my life could be like forever now.
“Rufio…” the bird cooed beside me. He’d crooned at me until I’d let him out of the cage, and when I told him we were going outside, he kept screeching “FLYYYY HIIIIGH FREEEEE BIRDDDDD YEAHHHHHH!” but kind of melodically, like he was singing. I’d grabbed a handful of the nuts he enjoyed, and some kibble for Doodles, and we’d gone outside for a picnic.
When Rufio had flown from my arm to the tree, I’d panicked, but he’d come right back. I’d given him a nut as a reward, and we’d repeated the process several more times, until I was pretty convinced he wasn’t going to take off and I’d have to tell Max that I’d lost his pet.
Now he walked along the ground, ripping up the grass and combing his beak through my hair and Doodles’s fur.
I had a book on twenty-first-century technology, which was both amazing and terrifying, as it read like a science fiction novel rather than a textbook. Rufio kept trying to chew the corners, his thoughts on the advancements in robotics clear.
The backyard of the Barrie Packhouse was large, filled with trees and shrubs and curated gardens that I never saw anyone tending to, though someone must, because it was beautiful. There were fruit trees in the back corner and eight-foot-tall fences, so I couldn’t even see the houses on the other side. It was like an oasis, and I decided it was my new favorite spot outside my nest.
Rufio flew back to the closest tree and sat there, preening himself happily. Maybe that was his problem, and why he cussed so much. He didn’t like his cage.
Me either, but we were both free under the clear blue sky right now.
I listened to music from the streaming app that Max had put on my phone. The fact I could take pictures, search for information, communicate with all the guys, and listen to music on this one tiny device was mind-blowing. I loved it.
“Surprise, motherfucker!” Rufio squawked, and I raised myself up onto my elbows to see Max coming down the stairs. He was in a tight tshirt and a pair of shorts that hugged his strong, tanned thighs. His glasses were perched on his nose, the dark frames highlighting the heavy lashes around his eyes and their brilliant blue irises sparkling in the sunshine.
He looked at Rufio in the tree. “Surprise indeed.”
I smiled up at Max. So damn pretty. “You’ve trained him well.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t train him to do this. Must have been his previous owners. Did he try to fly away?”
He grabbed a nut from the little bowl beside me and held it out to Rufio, who promptly flew down for his snack, screaming, “Fly high free bird, yeah!”
Bursting out laughing, Max scratched his head softly. “Lynard Skynard fan too.” At my quizzical look, he sat down on the quilt beside me. “They’re a band. ‘Free Bird’ is a song.” Picking up my phone, he searched in the music app, and a moment later, a rock song played through the tiny phone speaker.
Rufio flew back to his tree with his newly obtained nut, while Max lay down beside me, on the opposite side to Doodles, who hadn’t moved at all. Even when I shuffled over to give Max some space. Was he okay?
I ruffled his fur gently, but he didn’t wake. A little more firmly. “Doodles? Are you okay?”
Max reached over and shook him harder. Oh god. Was he dead? I mean, we’d had livestock at the Homestead, and sometimes they’d died—sometimes I’d even had to slaughter them, though that usually wasn’t my job—but this was different. This little dog was the first thing I had ever had to care for and it had died within a month?
“Doodles, wake up!” I said, desperate now. I lifted and dropped his floppy head once. Twice. On the third time, he lifted it up himself, giving a deep-bellied groan of annoyance. Relief swamped me.
Max flopped back on the blanket. “I wish he’d stop doing that. I swear, every single time, I think this is it.” He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. “He’s very old, and given his three legs and missing teeth, he’s probably had a really hard life until now. So if he does, uh, pass on, it wouldn’t be your fault, okay? It’s just the natural way of things.”
I knew that, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for the moment to be now. Snuggling closer, I placed my head on Max’s chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. My hormones were wild, and even knowing Doodles was alive and kicking, my eyes still misted over.
Wrapping both arms around my waist, Max pulled me until I was lying across his chest, my body pressed right along his, and suddenly, sad was the last thing I felt. Desire so hot coursed through me like an inferno. I guess this was what August had meant by mood swings.
Unable to help myself, I let my legs slip to either side of his hips and shifted around, the friction feeling too tempting to ignore. Max stiffened, his arms tightening around me, but he didn’t stop me.
“Omega…” he breathed, his eyes hooded, his lips slightly parted.
“Max,” I whined back. Why did I feel so hot all of a sudden? “Can I tell you something?”
His fingers traced distractingly up and down my spine. “You can tell me anything, Beautiful.”
“I’ve never done it before. Had sex, I mean.”
His fingers paused, but picked up again quickly. “I know. Llew insinuated as much. He expressed that everything had to be at your pace, or he’d toss us off the second-story balcony.” There was a hint of humor beneath his gentle words.
I wasn’t embarrassed. Not anymore, anyway. If anything, I was relieved that if I was going to give myself to someone, it would be someone I chose—not someone chosen for me by the Leaders at the Homestead.
I nuzzled my nose into Max’s throat, his scent as comforting to me today as it had been when he’d dragged me out of that hole in the ground. “I don’t want my first time to be during my heat, either. I want it to be…” I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.
“You want it to be special?”
I nodded. Looking down at this man—this Beta who would be a part of my heat, but not integral to it—I knew deep in my chest that I wanted it to be with him . How did I ask someone to take my virginity?
As Rio would say, fuck it. “I want it to be with you.”
Max’s whole body froze. I wondered if I shook him and lifted his arm, whether he’d be as unresponsive as Doodles had been a moment ago. He wasn’t even breathing, but I could feel his heart thundering beneath my cheek. Maybe he was trying to formulate a way to let me down easily.
Putting my arms on his chest, I pushed myself up so I could try and read what was going on inside his head. His eyes were wide. “Me? You want me to—” He swallowed hard. “Are you sure you don’t want Llew? I know you guys have been intimate, and he’s your Alpha. Or Rio?”
I shook my head. The more he tried to find reasons why he wasn’t good enough, the more I knew he was the right choice. “There will be enough time for Alpha and Omega sex during the heat. For my first time, I just want to be Polly. Polly and Max. The person who changed my life and held me steady every step of the way. That was the first day of the rest of my life, and I want you to be there for this first step too.” I paused, because I was telling this to him like he was winning a prize. What if he didn’t want to be my first? “I mean, if you want that too.”
Without answering, he rolled me to the side, laying me back on the quilt. Leaning over me, he kissed me hard. “I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life.” He tasted like mint and something sweet. “You just tell me when.”
His lips brushed across mine again, and my hard nipples pressed against his chest in a way that made all my nerve endings catch on fire. “Now?”
He pulled back, shock making his lips part. “Now?” he repeated. I nodded, kind of enamored by how shocked he was. “Now.” He repeated it one last time, climbing to his knees. “Okay. Yes. Okay.” He grabbed a nut and put an arm out for Rufio. “Give me ten minutes. I’ll put the bird away, and make something perfect.” Rufio landed on his arm, and Max began walking back toward the house, talking softly to the bird, like they were discussing plans for my great deflowering.
Flopping back down on the quilt, I stared back up at the sky, feeling equal parts nervous and excited. It felt right, though. It might have been a spur-of-the-moment thing, but my instincts agreed.
August had told me to trust my instincts, and he hadn’t led me astray yet.