Chapter 2 #3
‘If you really loved me, you would at least consider it,’ the hobosexual continued arrogantly.
‘I told you how I’m trying to save up so I can invest in my Twitch streaming content.
Why can’t you be supportive? If I ever go viral and the cash starts coming in, we both benefit, don’t we? I’m doing this for us!’
I almost threw up in my mouth. I’d heard enough. The bar for men was deep under the Mariana Trench’s crust and it made me sick. If this was the best us women could hope for, then bring on the male escorts at this point.
I gave the woman a reassuring smile and nod as we briefly locked eyes again, internally praying that she didn’t fall for this man’s schemes and gaslighting. I was disgusted, and at that point, my mind had been made up.
I scrolled back onto Google’s homepage and typed in ‘Male escorts based in London’, and clicked on the first non-sponsored website that popped up; it was called OuiMeet.
The website was simplistic in its design, having looked like it was made in 2003, with a hyperlink button directing users towards its ‘brand-new app’ instead.
I felt some way about having this on my browser history, so I downloaded the app instead and hastily made an account. Again, for research purposes; just in case.
I arrived at the profile section and hesitated.
What if someone recognised me here? What were the chances that I would bump into someone I knew though?
My Ghanaian family were way too conservative to be into these shenanigans, and if Kofi or any of my other friends showed up, I’d just mention that I had signed up as part of an investigative article I was writing for my made-up Substack site.
Yeah, that sounded believable, right? Right.
Even though I knew I was signing up mostly as a joke, I still felt the need to remind myself not to take it seriously.
Women using escort services to find male companionship was something I’d rarely heard of, and when I did, it was always the same stereotype: an elderly, wealthy heiress to a multimillion-pound fortune, recently widowed and seeking someone to share her final days with.
You never saw young, Black, somewhat hip women like me on these sites.
Or so I thought. I guess I was about to find out.
With one final push of self-persuasion, I decided to add my photo.
I opted for my main photo to be a headshot; it was a selfie that I’d taken of myself at Bianca’s baby shower.
I was looking particularly hot that day with my long, auburn Senegalese twists wrapped into a high bun, a sharp winged liner and red lip convo for the make-up, and a V-neck silk blouse that I had picked up on sale at Marks it was wholesome.
After adding the photos, I scrolled through the rest of the editing page until I approached the space where I had to write a little ‘About Me’ and what I was looking for.
I wasn’t planning on being on this app for long, so why not have a little fun?
Again, clearly for research purposes of course. I wrote the following:
Hey! The name’s CeeCee, and I’m an administrative professional based in South London looking for the perfect date.
I’m looking for a gentleman who will wine and dine me, take me out dancing, and provide great conversation.
My interests and hobbies include listening to podcasts, working out on occasion, playing video games (mostly The Sims), taking care of my gorgeous cat Toby and watching movies.
I read the profile back in disgust. I sounded like an eighty-year-old homebody with no life.
Where was the fun in that? It low-key worried me that even on an app where I had the opportunity to be whoever I wanted to be, my first inclination was to talk about the real me, who sounded boring as fuck. I deleted the text and started again:
South London’s finest; ready to be swept off my feet.
I’m a medical professional by day and a thrill-seeker by night.
When I’m not busy helping to save lives or making rounds, you’ll find me painting my imagination onto canvas, breaking a sweat in the gym, or feeling the rush of adrenaline on a go-kart track.
I believe life is best lived boldly – and I’m ready for someone who shares that fire, if only for the evening.
I’m here to meet someone who can reignite my faith in dating and romance.
Show me that chivalry isn’t dead and sweep me off my feet with your wit, charm, and love of life.
If you can make my heart race faster than a go-kart and keep me smiling long after the night is over, then we might just have something special.
I took a mouthful of food as I assessed the paragraph; this sounded so much better.
I actually sounded like a decent catch. Impressed with how my profile was shaping up, I saved the page and scrolled into the members’ section to check out the talent.
I set the ‘looking for’ options to ‘Male, between 34-40 years old, 6ft or taller, London’ and hit ‘search’.
The search results returned a meagre forty-three men, which surprised me; for some reason I assumed there would be a plethora of male escorts in the Big Smoke keen to make their fortunes by any means necessary, but maybe that spoke more to my stereotypes and assumptions of London men – heh.
Scanning my watch to make sure that I had enough time to browse before I had to make my way back to the office, I did a quick scroll of the talent on offer and was slightly disappointed; at least three of the men on this list were clearly lying about their age.
There were two men who had bald patches – nothing against balding men, but a bald patch just wasn’t an aesthetic I could embrace in my life at the moment.
A couple of the other guys seemed sleazy from their profile photos alone – there is no reason why a thirty-eight-year-old man should be wearing a matching tight-fitting smedium denim suit with bedazzled pockets and a black satin shirt with the buttons open down to the navel.
Also, the nerve of him to charge ￡300 for the night was abysmal, to say the very least. I laughed my way through the rest of the offerings; the app was looking pretty ghetto so far.
As I gathered my things to leave and walk back to work, I came across one profile that piqued my interest.
His name was ‘Jericho’, he was based in Hackney and he was thirty-four, although to me, he looked significantly younger.
He was six foot four, with small, almond-shaped dark eyes that almost disappeared under the weight of his luminescent megawatt smile.
Faint wrinkles gently lined the sides of his eyes, and he had a short, neatly trimmed faded haircut, showing no potential bald patches or receding hairlines.
A win! Jericho had medium-brown skin that glowed against his sharp, black well-fitted suit.
In the photo he was sitting with some other men at what looked like a wedding or a birthday ball.
He was gorgeous. What the hell was he doing here?
I scrolled through a couple of his other photos, which were a lot more delectable; mostly of him topless in a professional studio, shot in black and white, no doubt in order to make him appear more demure.
He had abs and muscles for days, yet still had a softness to his torso that made him look quite huggable and playful.
I snapped out of the quick daydream of me licking cream off his abs to peruse his profile; which was the most important thing:
The name’s Jericho and I’m a six-foot-four, clean-shaven, somewhat handsome lad from London with a passion for fast cars, intelligent conversations, good food, and beautiful women.
I love the finer things in life, and being able to share my passions with the ladies who share my interests.
One evening with me and I can guarantee that you won’t be leaving disappointed.
:) Oh, I’m also a huge cat person. My menu is as follows:
FaceTime/Video Call (20 minutes) – ￡40 // FaceTime/Video Call (1 hour) – ￡95 // My company during the day (up to four hours) – ￡200 // My company during the evening (up to four hours) – ￡350 // One-off special event (weddings, school reunions etc) – ￡500 + expenses // Overnight stay – ￡600 // ‘Group activities’ – Please enquire // Vacation getaway for two nights – ￡1500 // Vacation getaway for more than two nights – Please enquire for tailored fee, plus expenses // Other kinks – Please enquire.
All arrangements will be provided with up-to-date sexual health screening tests, as well as a CRB check confirmation for your security and safety.