Chapter 5 #3
‘Mum has moved on, and I know you love her and all that, but there needs to come a time where you accept that she’s found happiness elsewhere, and use that as a motivational tool to search for what happiness means for you.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be another woman – you can take up a hobby or something; you’ve still got time to go through a midlife crisis and buy a motorbike. ’
He laughed at this again, his glazed eyes twinkling momentarily. I preferred him in these vulnerable moments, as weird as they may have sounded. It was almost like receiving special access to a portal to a younger version of himself, a part of his personality that the family didn’t know.
‘You’re wise beyond your years, Baba,’ he replied, using the pet name he used to call me as a child. ‘You probably have a point but – what do you think? Is she happy? Does she truly love him? Is he good to her?’
I exhaled. I give one rousing, emotive monologue about moving on and all of a sudden I’m Oprah. Well, Oprah had to leave for work in thirty minutes so I had to find a way to make this short.
‘Dad … I think she’s happy. I don’t say this to make you feel bad at all, but she is the happiest I’ve ever seen her for a minute, I think.
She’s found something that works for her and I think it’s important that you do the same; you’re a handsome guy, you’ll be able to find love again, if that’s what you’re looking for? ’
My dad gave a slow exhale as he drained the rest of his mug.
I excused myself temporarily to quickly get changed into my work gear and put my hair up in a top bun.
I ran some mascara through my lashes and applied my peach translucent lip gloss from Hourglass Cosmetics, taking one final look at myself before heading back to the living room.
I looked and felt tired, but was still living off the adrenaline of talking to Jericho last night.
As I headed back into the living room to rejoin my dad, I received a text from the family group chat again:
Steve: Nothing that I can think of, sis. Are you in trouble lmao? What did you do???
Mummy: What’s happening? What has he told you?
Cassandra: He’s pining over you (AGAIN) of course.
Mummy: … Jesus Christ of Nazareth. When will this man rest?
Cassandra: Loooool! When you decide to get back with him, I suppose.
Mummy: God forbid.
I wondered if my mum knew that Dad knew about her impending nuptials? I quickly sent a message to Steven separately.
Cassandra: It’s about Mum. He found out that Femi proposed apparently???
Steven: Say whaaaa? IS IT? Rah boy. Maybe that’s why she wanted us over the house this weekend?
Cassandra: Yh I think so. Don’t tell Mum we know, though. It’ll be nice for her to surprise us. But yeah, Dad isn’t happy. He’s been crashing out for the last 20 mins.
Steven: At some point he’s gotta get over her, man.
Cassandra: Right? Smh. I’ll ttyl xx
I put my phone away and went to join Dad in the living room as he made his way to leave.
I felt a bit bad for how I had come at him regarding Mum, but it had to be said.
The man had to move on and stop pining after her – he was only hurting himself in the process.
I dropped my keys and hand cream into my bag as I slipped on my shoes.
‘You all right, Dad? I hope what I said didn’t come across as harsh or anything.’
‘No, you’re fine. You’re right. We both have our lives to live, I suppose.
Anyway, I said I would give you a ride to work, are you ready?
’ His eyes were still moist with tears. I couldn’t handle this.
In a rare display of affection, I went up to him and gave him a hug, which to my surprise, he actually returned, instead of the half-hearted, half-hug he would usually dish out.
We embraced for what felt like thirty minutes, though it was only a few seconds.
Yet in that brief moment, I could feel the entire weight of the world lift from his shoulders.
I grabbed my bits and together we headed out and towards his car.
Poor guy. Mum had him absolutely whipped. I issued a soft prayer to myself that that kind of heartbreak would never find me.
As we headed off towards Vauxhall, Dad turned briefly towards me and asked, ‘Cassie, are you seeing anyone at the moment? It would be nice to be a grandpa while I still have all my motor functions.’
I guffawed.
‘Dad. You have a whole grandchild currently basting in its own juices in your future daughter-in-law’s stomach right now, ready to drop in the next couple of months. What’s with the pressure on me?’
Dad responded by sucking his teeth and tapping the steering wheel as we ventured down South Lambeth Road.
‘It’s not the same, Cassie. It’s not the same. You were supposed to be first, you know?’
Yeah. I knew. My parents had never let me forget it.
There was silence for a few moments more, before he briefly turned to me again and let out a huge exhale, almost as if he were bracing himself.
‘Thank you,’ he started, his voice solemn. ‘Thank you for your advice this morning.’
I smiled faintly, attempting to burn this moment into my brain, for it was rare for me to receive an acknowledgement of appreciation from him.
‘You’re welcome, Dad,’ I replied. ‘Careful, though – keep being this nice to me, and I might get used to it.’