Chapter 11 #2
I smiled as I knocked back more of my drink – that was what I’d wanted to hear. So far so good.
‘OK, I love this! Also, Kofi kinda covered what you guys got up to on your date so you don’t need to run through that with me – I want you to elaborate on – wait – let me check my notes—’ At that point, I made the grand gesture of pulling out my phone to locate the text she’d sent earlier.
‘Being put “THROUGH THE MATTRESS” it says here. I want to know what that was all about, please!’
At this, Sade shifted in her seat uncomfortably, her glasses perched on the edge of her wrinkled nose as she smirked wickedly.
‘Girl. Sis. Babes,’ she started, eyes already animated as she leaned forward, ready to tell all. ‘OK so, first of all, his flat is SUPER cute. Like, you could tell that he’s into his plants and interiors and stuff. We did a mini-tour of the place and then had a couple more drinks and stuff.’
My phone suddenly vibrated with a notification, but I was too locked in to Sade’s story to notice. I leaned in closer as she continued.
‘So yeah! We vibed for a while, he was telling me about his fam—’ I had to stop her there.
‘My friend. I didn’t ask you over here to “David Attenborough” his life story. Tell me about the SHAGGING.’
We then both erupted into cackles of laughter, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my phone going off again.
I quickly turned it over to notice that it was coming from the OuiMeet app.
My heart fluttered almost instantly. I wondered what Jericho – or should I say Theo now – wanted?
Still, I pushed my phone to the side, keen for Sade to continue, but she immediately clocked my grin.
‘Wait. Is that your fancy man? You know you’re gonna need to let me know how your date went after I tell you about mine, right? Because this whole thing is low-key giving Pretty Woman but in reverse. I’m fully invested!’
‘Yeah, yeah, I will, but at the moment I’m waiting with bated breath, so …’
‘OK! So we’re on his sofa and at first we’re just making out and stuff, and then he pulls me in closer.
At this point, I can’t lie, man … I was READY to go.
So I lean in and start stroking my hands on his chest and he seems to be liking it.
And as we’re kissing, he basically pulls me on top of him.
So now I’m straddling him on his sofa and erm … yeah, man.’
I was fully locked in at this point, even though imagining Kofi doing the nasty with my best friend was something I really didn’t want to picture all that much, I knew I simply had to adhere to the Girl Code, which dictated full sexual exploit rundowns with your best friend after the deed had been done.
‘So—’ Sade continued, fully getting into the storytelling aspect now; she’d even put her snacks down and everything ‘—we just start dry humping on the sofa at first, you know, nothing too deep. And then! He picks me up and takes me to his bedroom. Fam, I felt like I was in a romcom or something, it was so sexy. So then yeah … we start undressing each other and, Cassie, babe, when I tell you that this man was PACKING? I was shocked.’
The last thing I wanted was to imagine Kofi naked; that man was like another brother to me and the very thought of it made me wince, but I had to persevere for Sade’s sake, at least (and for my own nosy self).
‘Cassie. Sis. He had Trojan condoms. The XL kind too. He said they were the only ones that would fit him and I believed it. His dick was at least nine inches.’
NINE! I knew I would never look at Kofi the same way again. I leaned back into the sofa, eyes wide open in shock.
‘So then, he pushes me back onto the bed and then he just goes to town, just absolutely nailing me through the mattress. Honestly, Cassie, I’ve never felt anything like it.
The thrusting? Militant! Precise! Deep! I could fucking feel it in my lungs, I tell ya.
And he kept going for at least twenty minutes, which was a record for me anyway.
And erm, yeah. Let’s just say we received an angry knock on his wall from his neighbours.
I couldn’t contain it, man. That man unleashed something in me last night that I hadn’t felt in such a long time.
That dick is a menace to society. Anyway, I say all this to say, I’ll be seeing him again, don’t you worry about that. ’
I sat back into the armrest and stared at Sade silently for a few moments while she continued to dip into the snacks nonchalantly.
It was my fault; I was the one that pressed for more information, but fucking hell.
I didn’t know Kofi had it like that. I feared that I would never be able to look at him the same way again.
Equally, however, I was also happy for both of them; my work, as far as they were concerned, was done.
‘Bloody hell, man. All this time I’ve been working next to a man who’s a fucking stallion. I know that’s right, sis! Don’t worry, though, I won’t let him know that you told me all that extra info – the last thing I need is for things to be awkward at work, you get me?’
We chatted over the next twenty minutes whilst gouging serious kilograms of chocolate.
I updated her about my mum’s upcoming nuptials and Dad crashing out, and she told me about her recent work dramas and updated me on her family gossip.
Now that Sade had rented a new flat way closer to me, we had vowed to do in-person home calls at least once every couple of weeks or so in a bid to kinda rebuild that sense of friendship community that our mum’s generation used to have, where they would randomly go to each other’s houses and stay there all day just because, and our friendship has grown so much stronger because of it.
None of this ‘having to book to hang out three months in advance’ nonsense that a lot of our generation have unfortunately become used to; we try and make it work when we can.
‘OK, enough about me ’cos I’ve gotta go soon.
Fill me in on this Jericho guy then. How did your second date go?
’ Sade asked as she finished off her drink.
I filled her in on the details of our date – really going to town when I brought up the car situation – and spoke of my plans to see him again. She looked at me, beaming.
‘And here was me thinking this was just going to be a one-time thing! It sounds like you’re low-key catching feelings for him a little bit, don’t you think?’
I pondered on this. I didn’t think it was ‘catching feelings’ per se. For me, I was just having fun with someone I was incredibly sexually attracted to. At least, that’s what I’d been trying to tell myself. Did I want to be paying so damn much for it? Not necessarily, no.
‘I enjoy him,’ I said coolly. ‘I think so far, we’ve had a great time together and he’s been the perfect gentleman every time.
I do want to see him again, and as much as I’m enjoying the whole control element of me paying for it, my bank account isn’t.
I’m tearing into my savings and the thought of having to keep this up does make me feel a little anxious, I can’t lie. ’
Sade and I sat in silence as we both pondered the tricky situation.
I wanted to keep seeing Theo casually, but I didn’t want to fall for him – that in and of itself would create a whole stack of problems that I wouldn’t be able to face – such as trying to explain to my family and other friends how me and Theo met.
That’s if we were to ever get together in the first place.
Luckily though, I didn’t think it would ever come down to that so I wasn’t necessarily worried about that part. I mean, in another reality, it would be nice …
‘Well, to play devil’s advocate, I would see it as investing in your happiness and in things that bring you joy,’ Sade said eventually.
‘Instead of spending three hundred pounds on a pair of sunglasses or a new bag, you’re spending it on your emotional and – dare I say at some point – sexual wellbeing.
The way I see it is, why have money if we can’t spend it on the things that make us feel good?
We spend our lives saving up in order to have security when we get older, which I get, but while we’re doing that, a lot of us forget to have fun and actually cultivate experiences that bring joy!
‘One day, Cassie, you’re gonna look back at this moment in your life while with your grandkids and you’re going to be able to tell them that back in the day, you were a bit of a hussy playing it fast and loose, getting your back blown out and all sorts.
Isn’t that what we all want, at the end of the day? ’
I never understood why Sade refused to go into politics. She could sell sand to the Sahara Desert. And she was absolutely right. Life was for living, not for waiting around. I deserved to have as much fun and feelings of spontaneity as I could before getting older and having to be more responsible.
‘When it comes to you and your advocacy for the devil, you really give Greta Thunberg a run for her money you know,’ I replied, newly emboldened and empowered by my best friend’s speech.