Chapter 18 #4
‘SIS, you are TRIFLING. Why didn’t you tell me?!’ Sade said, struggling to maintain her composure. Kofi’s face was a picture. He looked over at Jeff, shaking his head.
‘It wasn’t a big deal, honestly. He didn’t hurt me or anything, it was just a miscommunication, but look – the wedding’s about to start – I promise you I’ll explain everything afterwards yeah?’
Moments later, Bianca and I took our places outside the inner entrance, with Mum behind us, waiting patiently for the wedding march music to begin.
The doors opened, and Bianca and I slowly made our way down the aisle in unison.
As I walked down, I noticed Jeff trying his hardest not to look at me, while Veronica glared straight ahead, refusing any eye contact whatsoever.
This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so awkward.
I continued looking straight ahead, and eventually caught Theo’s eye.
Theo was gazing at me as if he wanted to devour me there and then.
I slipped him a cheeky wink and added an extra sway to my hips as I glided down the aisle.
Bianca and I reached the end of the aisle and stepped to the side.
I kept my eye on Veronica, who had now focused on Theo as my mum floated down the aisle, her mouth beaming as everyone took their phones out to film her.
Mum reached the altar, and I went to sit back next to Theo in an attempt to enjoy the rest of the ceremony.
I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that had developed in the pit of my stomach.
During the vows, I whispered softly to Theo:
‘Hey, so, there’s a woman with blonde dreads behind you on the groom’s side who keeps looking at you; do you know her?’
Theo subtly looked over to the right quickly before responding. ‘Nope. Never seen her before. Maybe she’s just taken by my beauty. Don’t worry, it happens sometimes.’
I forced down a chuckle as I watched on, my mum and Femi looking beautiful as they stared into each other’s eyes. It was all so romantic and perfect. I had hoped that my run-in with Jeff and Veronica would be the only awkward thing that would happen today.
Guess who was wrong, again?
As the ceremony continued, I could faintly hear the main doors opening and closing, alongside muted – yet intense – conversation.
God, please.
I tried to ignore it, but the conversation only became louder, with other members of the congregation turning around to see who was making the noise. I recognised the voice immediately.
Not this. I really hoped it wasn’t this.
The voices at the back of the church were getting louder.
‘If anyone here objects to the marriage,’ continued the pastor, speaking drearily, oblivious to the growing ruckus outside the chapel doors, ‘speak now, or forever hold your—’
Fuck!
‘REGINA! Leave me alone! Get off me! REGINA PLEASE. Don’t do this. Ow! Get off me!’
And of course – like the final act of a badly written romcom – there he was.
My dad, bursting through the church doors like a man possessed, gasping for breath as two frantic ushers clung to him like toddlers on a runaway shopping trolley.
He looked completely unhinged: unshaven, dark circles the size of dinner plates, hair doing its own thing entirely.
‘REGINA, PLEASE!’ he bellowed, arms flailing like a soap opera extra. ‘I STILL LOVE YOU, WOMAN! DON’T DO THIS!’
It was pure chaos. Honestly, all he needed was a boombox and a trench coat to complete the cliché.
I looked at my mum and Femi, who were both looking at my dad in horror.
The congregation turned from them to my dad, still being restrained by the two ushers.
Theo glanced at my dad, with a slight smile on his face, as if impressed by his audacity.
A real lover boy, this one. I, however, wanted the ground to swallow me up.
‘WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, DANIEL?’ screamed Femi in a voice I had never heard before. I’d never seen him truly angry before; it was terrifying. I stood up instinctively, wanting to protect Mum, who at this point was standing with her mouth open in shock, looking royally pissed off.
‘Regina, please – just hear me out. Please, I still love you!’ Dad roared, still trying to make his way down the aisle while being pulled back by the two men.
By this point, all eyes and phone cameras were on Dad, and at this point, I couldn’t have been more embarrassed if I tried.
I clocked Jeff and Veronica staring up at the altar in shock.
At one point, Jeff glanced over at me, and quickly turned his head away.
I was mortified; never mind what happened between Jeff and me personally, on a professional level, this was humiliating.
Steven was busy with baby Aaron, so it was up to me.
‘Dad – NOT HERE!’ I shouted as I ran up the aisle towards him. I grabbed him by the hem of his shirt and walked him back towards the corridor, leaving the two ushers to close the doors behind us. If the whole ordeal wasn’t so mortifying, I would have found this hilarious.
‘Cassie – I’m … I’m sorry, I just …’ Dad started, trying to catch his breath as I walked him outside the church. He stank of tequila: clearly a motivating factor for this outburst. ‘I just love her. I couldn’t stand by and let her marry him, I just couldn’t!’
‘So you decide to burst into the chapel like Grandpa Simpson in an attempt to crash the wedding in the hopes that, what? She’d just randomly comply?
’ I chastised, also trying to catch my breath.
‘Do you know you’ve just ruined what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life?
If you loved her, you wouldn’t have done that! ’
‘Grandpa who? I don’t get the reference, I … I’m sorry.’ Dad breathed, now looking forlorn.
‘Ugh, don’t worry about it, it’s a cartoon thing.
Anyway, what on earth did you think would happen from you making a scene like that?
You’ve just embarrassed her in front of the family – do you think she’s ever going to want to talk to you or forgive you now?
You have to let go, once and for all. You HAVE to move on. ’
Dad was now sitting on the steps of the church, silent tears spilling down his face. For once, I actually felt a little sorry for the guy. For all his fuck-ups as a dad and a husband, he seemed to truly love my mum and was genuinely struggling to move on.
‘I can’t move on, my dear.’ He sighed heavily, confirming my theory. ‘Your mum was my first love. The only woman I’ve loved. You don’t just let that go.’
I sat beside him, seething that I was missing the ceremony – but, if I was being honest, a little grateful too. At least the chaos meant all eyes were on the dramatic mess at the altar, not on me and Theo.
‘Dad,’ I said, trying to keep my voice calm, ‘I get that this is hard. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now – but if you really love her, then you have to let her go. You should want her to be happy … even if that happiness involves someone who isn’t, well, you.’
I gave him a look.
‘Let’s be real – you weren’t exactly Husband of the Year.
Or Father of the Year, for that matter. And at some point, you’ve got to own that.
What matters now is who you decide to be from here on out.
’ I gestured towards the chaos he’d just created.
‘And crashing a wedding? Not exactly the redemption arc you want to start with. You’re going to find someone again – I’m sure of it.
But first, maybe let’s focus on healing …
and staying out of church buildings unless invited, yeah? ’
While I was busy tearing into him, my mind flicked back to all the other times I’d been forced to step in – for him, and for Mum.
I’d always had to play the peacekeeper, the moderator, the one who held everything together.
Being the emotional breadwinner had been exhausting, and I was tired of being in the middle of everything.
‘Dad … please don’t take this the wrong way, and I know I briefly brought this up when Aaron was born, but I can’t keep doing this with you and Mum any more.
It’s not fair on me. Because of this, I’m missing the wedding – and that breaks my heart more than you probably realise.
My whole life I’ve been the one caught in the middle, the one you both turn to when you want to let it all out about each other.
Do you know how lonely that feels? How heavy it’s been to carry all of that?
And then when it comes to my own life, the choices I’ve made, it still feels like nothing I do is ever quite enough for either of you.
I’ve tried so hard, Dad … but I’m so tired of this; I just want a dad who cares about me too. ’
Dad looked up to stare at me; his eyes glazed with tears. I waited for him to interject, but when nothing came, I continued.
‘I know that being the oldest comes with responsibilities, I absolutely do, but I’m your child.
Not your caretaker, or your therapist, or a trophy you get to show off whenever you want to score points against other members of the family.
I’m your daughter, and I just wished that growing up, you could have treated me like one.
I needed looking after too. The same way I’ve been trying to look after you, despite it not being reciprocated. I needed your love and approval also.’
Dad looked at me, his eyes red with tears. I stared at him back, time standing still as, for the first time in what seemed like a long time, a true bonding moment was had between us.
‘You’re right. This has … been hard to hear. When did you get so wise? I’m sorry. I truly am. For all of it. I’ve made a fool of myself; this is so unlike me. Please tell your mother I’m sorry also.’
‘No, Dad,’ I said sternly, asserting my temporary dominance in this moment – who knew if I’d ever get the opportunity again? ‘When you’ve cleaned yourself up and had some time to think, you need to tell her you’re sorry. It can’t come from me any more.’