21. Alessia
Chapter twenty-one
Alessia
T he shower was silent as I could hardly keep myself upright.
Who knew someone could fuck the life out of you?
He was so gentle and nurturing, and he even tied my hair up into a knot on top of my head before placing me under the hot water. He washed my body and gingerly pulled the butt plug out of me that I had forgotten about.
After washing me, he sat me down on the bench to clean himself quickly. Out of the shower, he wrapped me in a large fluffy towel and carried me back to bed like I was this fragile creature.
It’s still light out when he joins me in bed, pulls me into his side, and covers us with the warm blankets. I tell myself I’m only going to shut my eyes for a moment, but I end up falling asleep against him. From the steady beat of his heart, the feel of his breathing against my forehead, the warmth of his body, and the softness of the pillows and blankets. Yeah, it all lulls me right to sleep in no time.
I only know I slept for a while because my stomach rumbles in hunger when I begin to come to. “The night of our engagement party, when I excused myself to use the restroom, Arianna was waiting for me.” Somehow, he knows I’m awake before my eyes open. “Yes, we have been together in the past, but it was never anything serious. She was a possibility for a union, but only that.” He pauses. “She made advances at me, and I did what I could to decline her offers respectfully. That’s all I will say about it.”
Finally, I find the courage to open my eyes, and we lie there in silence for a while. I believe him, but we still have one more unresolved issue. “And your trip. I understand if it was something you can’t yet entrust me with. But what am I supposed to think when you are so evasive about it?”
When he doesn’t answer right away, I tilt my face up and find him staring up at the ceiling. “Because it wasn’t for business.” I swallow hard and almost look away until he ensnares me with his eyes. “It was for personal reasons, but I can’t tell you what. You need to trust me, though. It was not to have an affair, and that’s again all I will say about it.”
Unless I want to drive myself mad with mistrust and paranoia, I need to start putting a little faith in his word, if anything. Otherwise, it’ll only be me that I’m hurting. If he has anything to hide, it will eventually reveal itself.
“Okay.” His face relaxes a little. “Did you know that your name means ‘greatest’?” I practically blurt out, and a cute little crease forms between his brows. “Massimo means ‘greatest’.” I snort and glance down at his hard chest bashfully.
“I didn’t know that.” He pauses. “And what does your name mean, bella ?”
I look back up at him to find him tucking one arm behind his head and focusing his attention on me. “Defender.”
He gives me a little smile. “Was that intentional?”
I avert my gaze again. “My mother waited to name each of us until we were a few days old, claiming it was to get to know us, and give us each a fitting name. Tullio, one who leads. Armando, soldier. Santino, little saint.” We both chuckle because Santino is no saint, but he’s reticent, which can be deceived as one. “Paolo, small. Apparently, she knew he would be the last boy. And Gemma, precious stone.” I roll my lips in and dance my fingers along one of his scars, fixated on it. “My father was actually the one to choose my name.” I look up at him again. “ Babbo said that when Gemma would cry, I’d remain silent. As if I were trying to be strong for her,” I murmur the last part almost feeling silly with this little story. How could Massimo possibly understand the significance of it?
He seems unperturbed as he patiently listens to every word I say. My fingers lightly caressing a scar the whole time.
His hand flattens over top of mine as my eyes bounce around his torso, infatuated with all of them marring his skin. They land on the biggest one right under the left side of his ribs. “What’s this one from?” I slip my hand out from under his and touch it lightly. It’s raised and about an inch wide and three inches long.
“Machete.” My eyes widen as I look at him. “I was young and overly confident. Would go into situations unprotected thinking I was invincible.”
“I heard you’ve always liked to be a soldier more than a capo.”
Exhaling through his nose, he shifts a little. “The business side of it has always been hard to keep my attention, but it’s the duty of the eldest. It’ll all be inherited by me.”
“Do you want it?”
“Yes,” he says with no hesitation.
“Just a different part in it,” I say as more of a statement, not a question. “I know what you mean.” I look away. “I’ll never be taken seriously.”
“With me, you will.”
“Still not the king of the castle,” I mutter, and we both chuckle.
“Is that truly what you want, Alessia? To be the king?”
I take a moment to answer him. “I long for recognition.”
“I promise you will have it, cara .”