Chapter Sixty-Six Rae
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
Rae
“THIS STUFF IS DISGUSTING.” Hannah pours herself another watermelon vodka and settles back into the blanket fort Otty built in my house. It’s actually pretty cool. You can go from the sofa to the bed without being seen. I’m impressed.
“You wanted vodka.”
“This isn’t vodka. This is melted plastic in alcohol.”
I don’t bother replying. Right now, all I want is to stop thinking about what Ms. Barcom-Tancredi meant when she said they were headed to bed.
They. She and Dad? Together?
“They’re kind of cute together,” Hannah says, vodka glass already half-empty. It’s her second one.
“Dad and Ms. Barcom-Tancredi?”
“You mean his new girlfriend?”
All three of us stop to let those words sink in.
“Laura,” I say.
“Laura,” my sisters repeat, like we’re just down from outer space and we’ve never encountered human speech before.
A knock at the door makes all three of us jump. We don’t move under the blankets, because who the hell is at this door at midnight?
“It’s Sam! I know you’re there!” A pause. “I’ve brought offerings.” Another couple of seconds go by. “And explanations.”
Otty and Hannah both give me considering looks.
“Go ahead,” I whisper to Otty, who crawls to the front door and opens it. “What kind of offerings, Tank Girl?”
“Vodka.”
“What flavor?” yells Hannah.
“They didn’t have watermelon, so I got plain.”
“Hallelujah.” My sister clambers her way to the entrance.
“What else?”
A sheepish, exhausted-looking Sam squats down so she can see me. She’s carrying two huge bags, which she sets down like a tribute to the local beast.
That’s me. I’m the local beast.
“Cranberry, limes, soda water. Diet Coke…”
I open my mouth to ask which kind, and she quickly says, “Gas station. Also, those lemon sandwich cookies you like.”
One of the bags disappears from view, clearly carried off by one of my scavenging sisters.
“Clementines, pickles, chips, special cocoa… and… three bags of jalapeno Cheetos.”
Oh, she knows she had me with those Cheetos. They’re hard to find nowadays, and they are my absolute favorite junk food. Also, the clementines were a master stroke because there’s always a moment when we’re tired of eating the crap and need something fresh.
“Fine. You can stay.”
Her grin is huge as she passes the other bag off to my sisters. I relinquish a piece of blanket fort, and without hesitation, Sam’s got her shoes and coat off, and she’s ducked down and squished in with me.
“Nice digs. You’ve managed to make the smallest home in the city seem even smaller.”
“It’s cozy.”
“Sure is, Beanie.”
Otty’s opened a bag of Cheetos and already shoved a handful into her mouth when she joins us.
For once, I don’t even give a crap about getting the orange stuff on my couch.
Who cares? Truly, who gives any part of a shit about stains when life is just one big shit stain anyway and nothing—nothing—makes sense?
Especially the part where Dad has a new girlfriend.
Except… I kind of like that part.
“Dad’s got a girlfriend,” I inform Sam.
“Nice going, Mr. Jensen.”
“It’s Ms. Barcom-Tancredi.”
“No freaking way.”
“Yes, way,” says Hannah as she slides in beside us.
“Hey, you okay?” asks Sam. Which is hilarious, right? I mean, she’s the one who’s gotten fired and disappeared and was gallivanting lord-knows-where with some married guy.
“I’m fine, you wiener face. What about you?”
“Wiener face?”
“Penis breath.”
“Oh my god,” Hannah sighs. “Eighties insults?”
“Vintage eighties insults,” Sam replies. “The very best kind.”
“Picturesque.”
“Gross.” Otty takes back the Cheetos and hands Hannah a cocktail. “Here.”
“Ew. It’s nasty.”
“Needs more cranberry.”
“I need a cup!”
“I’ll get it!” Sam squeezes out, turns to the kitchen area, scuffles around, and goes silent.
“Oh, wow. Rae.”
“What? What is it?”
“Your nook.”
I snort. “Stupid nook.”
“No. No, it’s good. It’s really good.”
“Right?” Hannah yells, giving me a look. “I told her she needs to charge more.”
“It’s just a pathetic fantasy.”
“The hairy whip thing!”
“For the love of all that is holy, please just call it a flogger.”
My sisters snort-laugh.
Sam’s laugh stops abruptly.
“What’s wrong?”
“The… You…”
Now it’s my turn to get up and out, only I do it like a blanket fort Godzilla, dragging three different chenilles and a twinkle light with me. “What is it?”
“That’s me.” Her voice is nothing but a scratch. “The little person sitting at reception. You stuck me in there.”
“I’ve missed you.”
Sam lets out a sob and reaches for me, and we’re hugging. After at least a minute, I let out a long, shuddering exhale and draw back.
“That’s what you get for having secret boyfriends.”
“Pot, meet kettle.”
My sisters pop up to standing at almost exactly the same time. “Secret boyfriend? Who? What?”
“I was seeing a guy.” Sam glances quickly at Hannah and back at me. “He was married.”
A weird buzzing starts up in my head. She wouldn’t. She really wouldn’t.
“I’ve got something to tell you. About him.”
“Oh god.” I’m pretty sure my whole face collapses. Was my best friend sleeping with my brother-in-law? She’s pretty weird when it comes to men, but… no. No way. No.
“I was pretty sure he’d given me a fake name, so I looked in his wallet the last time I saw him. His real name’s Dane Wabash.”
Shock hits me so hard I can’t think.
“Who’s that?” Otty pipes up from where she’s collapsed back on the love seat.
“Our boss’s son-in-law?” I can’t help but grimace. “Ew, Sammy. Ew.”
“I know. I just… you know how I am about assholes.”
I shake my head and sink down next to Otty. It’s a tight fit.
“I called Dorothy. Talked to… Grant. Look, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you that. I just… My taste in men sucks balls.”
“You suck balls!” yells Otty, the way she used to as a kid. Minus the balls part.
“Nothing wrong with it,” Sam replies.
“Your choice,” I add.
“No judgment,” Hannah pipes in.
“Yeah, we’ve sucked worse,” Otty finishes.
We all look at her.
“Have we, though?” Hannah asks.
“Well… I mean…”
All eyes switch back over to me.
“What?”
“You’re the adventurous one,” Sam says. “With your hot Dom.”
“Dom?” Hannah looks at me.
“I’m not really adventurous. I’m a scaredy pants.”
“You’re the bossy pants,” says Hannah, poking me. The whole evening feels like a return to childhood. I don’t hate it.
“Mom,” Otty intones.
There’s a weird silence.
“Yeah. About that.” I stand back up and look at each of them. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t take care of everyone all the time.”
“We’re over it too,” Sam says.
“Wait.” I’m immediately defensive. “Over what, exactly?”
“Taking care of us all the time. Get a life, man.” Hannah, as always, finds the humor.
“No, but seriously. And now, like Dad’s got a girlfriend? Is she gonna check his vitals app, or do I keep doing that? And what about you guys? Have you got it all figured out too?”
“Schaffer got an assistant,” says Hannah. “And less travel.”
“Really?” Hallelujah.
“I also gave him an ultimatum: help out or get out. We’ll see how it goes.”
“He bought her flowers,” Otty pitches in.
“This has all happened, like, this week?”
“Yep. And I’m moving to Charleston,” announces Otty.
“What? Why? Is it safe there? Where are you gonna…?”
The three of them exchange a look, and I stop dead.
“I’ve got a place, a job, and already booked a couple of local singing gigs.”
“It’s so far.”
She nods. “That’s kind of the idea. A little change of scenery, a little distance from the prick who just fired me.”
“Wait. You were fired?” I ask.
“We don’t need you, Beanie.”
“I do,” says Sam, her grin lopsided because of the Blow Pop she’s just stuck in her mouth.
“No, you don’t.”
“I need you as my best friend. And an HR person with experience reading résumés.”
“Hm. I’ll help with the résumé.” I crunch on a Cheeto and stare them all down. “You know we’d have gotten here a lot sooner if you’d all just done what I said over the years?”
“Whatever. I think it’s time for a sweet baby huggle!”
“No!” I scream. “No huggles! Please, no huggle!” It’s too late. My sisters are smothering me with hugs and kisses already. It’s one of those family traditions that you love to hate, or hate to love, or whatever it is when it’s wonderful but also might kill you from literal lack of air.
“I love huggles!” yells Sammy as she jumps right on top.
I’m laughing and laughing, and I love them so much, and then I just burst into tears. Again.