Chapter 25 All The Hands That Hold You
ALL THE HANDS THAT HOLD YOU
ENYA
My water breaks at four in the morning two days after I’m due, because when you’re sleepy and groggy is the best time to be in severe pain.
I’m standing in the kitchen, craving cold grapes, when suddenly there’s a warm rush down my legs. I gasp, grabbing the counter.
“Nick!” I cry out.
He comes running from the bedroom like someone fired a gun. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?”
“My water broke.”
He stares.
“Like…broke, broke?”
“No, just kidding,” I deadpan.
“Fuck.”
He kisses me first and then scrambles for the hospital bag we packed, nearly trips over the coffee table, and somehow manages to help me to the car without having a heart attack.
It’s cute and a bit of a cliché. Mr. James Bond is flustered. Who would’ve thought?
By the time we get to the hospital, my contractions have started. Real ones that make me grab Nick’s shirt and threaten to rip it off him if he doesn’t stop asking me to breathe.
Hours blur.
Pain comes in waves.
Nurses come and go.
Nick never leaves my side.
He holds my hand through every contraction, wiping my forehead, murmuring that I’m the bravest woman alive.
I’m not brave. I have no choice but to do this.
When I scream, he doesn’t flinch.
When I cry, he cups my face.
When I tell him I can’t do it, he kisses my knuckles and says, “You already are.”
Cass is the first to arrive. She sages the room; brings out crystals that do absolutely nothing to help with pain management.
Daisy and Forest come three hours after my labor starts. They were in New York for some reason, and rushed over as soon as Nick told them the baby was on the way.
My sister-in-law, my new favorite person in the world, kisses my forehead. “How are you holding up, baby mama?”
“This hurts like a motherfucker.”
“Epidural?” she asks.
“Not gonna take it.”
I want to do this old school. I know, I know, it hurts like hell, but I just can’t have someone poke a needle into my spine.
Forest follows behind her with two coffees and the calm energy of a man used to Daisy. “I come bearing caffeine.”
I groan. “I miss coffee.”
“Baby, as soon as you have the baby, I’ll get you as many cups of coffee as you want,” Nick promises.
“Dude, she’s going to give birth, and you’ll get her coffee? That’s lame,” Forest says.
I actually laugh mid-contraction.
My labor starts to look like it’s going to be a long one, which sucks because it really hurts.
Nick’s parents arrive at hour eight, when I’m just about ready to kill Nick and the hospital staff.
His mother rushes straight to me, brushing my hair back like she’s known me forever. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re doing beautifully.”
His father squeezes Nick’s shoulder. “I can’t wait to meet my grandbaby.”
I’m surrounded, I realize, by love, by family—my tribe.
I’m in labor for twenty extremely long hours before our baby arrives.
Our son.
They place him on my chest—tiny, warm, furious at the world. I sob instantly, clutching him close.
“Hi,” I whisper, voice breaking. “Hi, Zephyr.”
Nick and I decided on that name together. Zephyr, as in zephyr lilies, if it was a boy, and Rose if it was a girl.
Nick’s hand trembles as he touches our son’s back.
“Oh my God,” he breathes. “He’s…beautiful.”
I laugh through tears and look at our son in my arms. He’s perfect. I’ve never seen anything this perfect before.
Nick kisses my forehead, then the baby’s. “You did this. You’re…Enya, baby, you’re incredible.”
He wraps his arms around us, and for a moment, everything stops.
The world is bright, warm, and brand new.
Family surrounds us—Daisy taking pictures of us, Forest handing out cigars, Nick’s parents holding each other, and Cass wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
I am not alone.
I am held.
I am loved.
I belong.
I lift my gaze to Nick and smile without any restraint.
The way he holds me, the quiet certainty in his eyes, tells me everything I need to know—our baby isn’t the only new beginning.
I am, too.
Want more Dominic and Enya? Read the bonus chapter: You & Me on my website at
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Continue the journey with Evan and Fox, and don’t forget to get your ABCs right with the first three stories in the Regretfully Yours, series with Ansel, Basil, and Cain.