Chapter 20
“Coffee.”
I blink open my heavy eyes to find Leo crouching down in front of me, his face masked from all emotion. He passes me a cup of the steaming hot liquid as the scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the tent.
I sit up, accepting the offering as all the images of last night come rushing back to me. I rub my scratchy eyes, feeling the tiniest twinge of a headache growing at my temples, and as if Leo can read my mind, he passes me a couple of painkillers.
“You’ll feel better once you take this.”
“Thanks.” I toss back the pills as an awkward silence fills the air, both of us staring like we’re waiting for the other to speak first.
Last night, things got pretty heated, and to say Leo surprised me is the understatement of the century. I was so worked up, so turned on, that I couldn’t wait to pounce on him as soon as we were alone, couldn’t wait to finish what we’d started back in the woods.
But Leo being Leo wouldn’t hear of it. So, after he made sure his brothers were all set with what they needed and tucked into their own tents, he helped me into my sleeping bag and promptly turned out the lights without another word. He even went as far as sleeping on top of the sleeping bag with his head in the opposite direction.
I was tired and delightfully sated after the activities of the evening, and I figured he needed a little time to think. So, rather than pushing it, forcing him to talk to me—or God forbid pick up where we’d left off—I turned over and snuggled his muscular calf and slept better than I had in years.
I’m not so sure he can say the same, judging by the dark circles under his eyes and the look of remorse on his face.
“Listen, Ivy, about last night?—”
I hold up my hand to stop him before taking a cautious sip of my hot coffee. “Let’s not do the whole I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away bit. It’s too early for me to deal with your self-deprecation, and I’d like to keep my memory of last night untampered with.”
His lip twitches, and he brushes my wild mane out of my eyes. “I wasn’t going to apologize.”
I snap my eyes up, and this time, when he looks at me, I don’t see regret. Actually, he looks more at peace than I think I’ve ever seen him.
“If anything, I went easy on you last night.”
I take a gulp of my coffee, not caring as it burns all the way down my throat. Is he being serious right now? Is this real life?
I go in for another gulp, but Leo’s hand moves over the top of my cup.
“Slow down. I don’t need you burning that pretty mouth before I have time to enjoy it.”
And I think my panties might have just incinerated.
Leo smiles, wiping a drip of coffee from my chin with his thumb. “You’re so fucking adorable when you wake up. You have no idea how hard it is to not crawl into that sleeping bag with you and forget about my entire family right now.”
My mouth falls open as I stare at him.
Who is this, and what have they done with my self-righteous curmudgeon? Did I finally manage to break the emotionless robot? I can’t help but feel the tiniest bit of pride at the thought. I knew I could break him … eventually.
So, I guess the real question is, what the hell happens now?
Before I have time to spiral over that thought, he pushes my open jaw shut and laughs. “Why don’t you get dressed? My dad’s making breakfast, and I’ve got to help rouse my hungover brothers. I’ve got a surprise planned for us after breakfast.”
He tugs the end of my hair, and then he’s gone, leaving me equally surprised and confused in the best way possible.
Holy shit. I think I’m going to need more coffee.
“There she is,” Frank calls at the same time Mary asks, “How did you sleep?”
I take a seat on the log bench beside Leo, and he wraps an arm around me, sliding me closer to him.
Leo is looking wholly unbothered and, dare I say, comfortable. “Like a baby. I could get used to being out here.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear it. By the sound of it, you all had quite the eventful evening. I hope the boys aren’t hurting too badly this morning after finishing off that entire bottle of whiskey.” Frank laughs as he pulls the skillet from the hot rocks in the fire, and Leo jumps up to clear a space for him.
As if on cue, Roman and Luka climb out of their tents with a groan, wiping their sleepy eyes with their fists.
“Good morning, family,” Roman says as he pours himself a cup of coffee and takes a seat by the fire.
“Why does bacon have to smell so bacony?” Luka grumbles, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head.
“Ah, there they are, the party animals who kept us up well into the night. How’re you feeling, Luka? Regret any of your choices last night?” Mary gives them each a pat on the head before passing Luka a bottle of water.
“I feel perfectly fine. Slept like a baby on a tiny boat in the ocean,” Roman says. He nudges Luka with his elbow. “Some of us know how to hold our liquor while others are still learning.”
Luka grunts, pressing his fingers to his temples. “Stop yelling, would you? My head is pounding, and your voice is making me nauseous.”
“Here, eat this and stop whining.” Leo tosses Luka half a sleeve of graham crackers, to which Luka doesn’t even try to catch. Instead, the crackers smack him in the head and land at his feet.
“Thanks.” He reluctantly takes a bite, looking absolutely miserable.
“I guess you and your brothers will think twice before getting piss drunk again.”
“Oh, come on now, Frank. Let them enjoy their youth while they can. I’m glad everyone seemed to have had a good time. I just wish Jett had wanted to join us. I miss having all my people together like this. Now that we have more reasons to celebrate, maybe we can do things like this more often.” Mary’s smile beams as she looks around the campsite like she wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.
My stomach twists at the thought of disappointing her, but the guilt is soon forgotten when Leo places a plate in my lap.
“And for my beautiful bride-to-be, eggs and bacon, cooked just how you like them.”
I look down and smile when I see he used the yellow scrambled eggs to form a circle in the middle of the plate and added two blueberries and a piece of bacon to form a smiley face.
“Hey, why didn’t you make mine cute? You know I love that shit,” Roman says as he takes his plate and plops down on the log beside us. “Just because you got laid in the tent last night doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share the wealth.”
Luka, who seems to be feeling a little better, perks up. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what that means.”
“Can we not talk about my sex life over breakfast, please?” Leo comes to sit beside me with his plate and wraps an arm around my waist to move me closer.
“Yeah, well, maybe we’re just jealous,” Roman says between a mouthful of eggs.
There’s an awkward silence in the air as I think back to the moment Leo and I shared last night, the way he spoke to me and took control. I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on, and I don’t know what any of it means or what happens next. All I know is, I liked it. And I can’t stop wondering about what would’ve happened if we weren’t interrupted.
As if he senses my racing thoughts, Leo places a warm hand on my knee, tracing comforting circles of distraction.
“I think I’m going to take Ivy down to the lake after breakfast to do a little fishing. Is the boat still in the same spot?”
“Should be. Pretty sure you were the last one to use it,” Frank says as he begins packing up the breakfast supplies.
“I hope you don’t mind us cutting the camping trip short, but Evelyn’s hosting book club tonight at her place, and I already RSVP’d to bring dessert.” Mary holds out her hand. She glances at her watch. “We’ll need to hurry though, so I’m not rushed …”
“Okay, well, I guess that’s my cue to leave too,” Luka says before heading back to his tent.
“Can you wake up your brother so I can start loading the truck?” Frank calls, and Luka gives him a silent thumbs-up.
“I guess I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it,” Roman says before swiping a cup and scooping it full with ice.
I watch as he creeps toward Guy’s tent, where Luka waits, holding a finger over his lips. They slowly unzip the tent and disappear inside.
I turn to Leo, who’s looking at me with a curious gaze. “Did you say you’re taking me fishing? In a boat? On the lake?”
He inches his hand higher, tucking it securely between my thighs. “I did. Is that okay with you?”
I narrow my eyes. “Why are you being so touchy all of a sudden?”
“I think you and I have a lot to talk about. We’re leaving in ten.” He kisses me on top of my head before heading to pack up the tent.
“Yowwww! Fuck, that’s cold! Not cool, man!” Guy screams from the tent behind us just as Luka and Roman come flying out, bending over as they laugh their assess off.
“It’s never a dull moment around this family, is it?”
Leo smiles, shaking his head. “Never.”
“How is it that you’ve never been fishing? Not even off a dock or in a pond?” Leo holds out a hand to help me step into the wobbly canoe.
We’re on the pier right next to the bank, and the lake stretches as far as the eye can see in the distance. It feels strangely quiet out here, like we’re the only ones here—and I’m starting to wonder if maybe we are. What’s stopping the Kingsleys from buying a lake? They already own the whole town.
Everything about the Kingsley family is larger than life. Sometimes, I feel like it’s all too much, and I wonder if I’m going to wake up and realize it was all a dream. Especially since we still haven’t talked about what happened last night.
The boat sways as Leo steps in after me, using his momentum to push us out.
“My parents weren’t really outdoorsy people, and they definitely weren’t into the whole family bonding—hell, I don’t think I can remember the last time both of my parents were in the same room …” My voice trails off as I think back on it, making my stomach twist in knots.
I notice the slightest twitch in Leo’s hand, as if what I said angered him, and then he moves it to my thigh in a gentle caress.
I don’t know why, but that small, protective gesture gives me more comfort than either of my parents ever did, and soon, the knot is replaced with butterfly flutters.
I never share these personal stories with anyone, but for some reason, I find myself wanting to open up. I clear my throat and continue, “And then when my sister got sick, it took everything we had just to survive the day-to-day. I think I’ve spent more time in and out of hospitals than anything else.” I shrug. “I guess that’s why she added it to her list. Fern was always trying to create the fullest life possible; she wanted to try everything at least once.” I laugh to myself, thinking about all the horrible food she’d insist we’d love, only for us to throw it away and order a pizza.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You deserved to be a kid too. You shouldn’t have had to worry about all of that at such a young age, and it wasn’t fair for them to expect you to. I can’t imagine the pain you must feel, living through something like that. If it makes any difference, I think you’re incredibly brave, and I’m in awe of your resilience.”
He can’t imagine the pain I must feel.
I don’t miss his use of present tense when referring to my grief, and I think Leo’s the only person who’s ever spoken of it as if it’s an ongoing thing rather than something I should’ve moved on from by now.
Feeling a little too vulnerable for my liking, I shrug. “Yeah, it sucks, but Fern wouldn’t have wanted me to dwell in sadness. She’d have wanted me to enjoy my life. It’s why she made the list.”
His mouth turns down for a moment, but his eyes don’t leave mine. “Ivy, you don’t have to do that, you know?”
“I don’t have to do what?”
“Pretend to be strong. Pretend that you’re not sad or that your sister’s death wasn’t painful or that it still doesn’t hurt.”
He places a hand on my shoulder, and I feel that familiar knot start to form in my throat.
I force myself to cough, pushing it back down to the empty hole in my heart, where it belongs. “I’m not pretending anything. Now, are we going to fish, or did you bring me all the way out here to give me a therapy session?”
Leo’s lips press into a flat line, like he’s holding back his words, but then he reaches down and pulls out a shiny pink fishing pole that he no doubt bought just for me. I don’t bother to ask him when he had time to get it because if there’s one thing about Leo Kingsley, it’s that he can be incredibly thoughtful when he wants to be.
He’s only known about Fern’s list for a few days, and he seems to have committed it to memory. I hardly expected him to join me jumping off the waterfalls yesterday, and I guess this is no different.
At this rate, I’ll have checked off the entire list by the time the Phantom Festival rolls around, and then I’ll be off to Romania for the final hurrah. That thought used to excite me, but lately, I’ve been feeling more anxiety than anything. Probably because it’ll be over, and then what am I supposed to do with myself?
I shake the thought away, bringing my attention back to the moment, back to the sexy man sitting in front of me, teaching me about different baits and where to cast, depending on what kind of fish I’m trying to catch.
I stare at his hands as he ties a bobber to the line, remembering how they felt when his fingers were inside me and how desperately I wanted them to touch me last night.
I can feel the blush creep up my neck, and when his eyes meet mine, I swear I see a flare of desire igniting behind them. Maybe I’ll get to pick up where we left off last night after all? A girl can only hope.
“I prefer to use live bait, but since I didn’t have much time to prepare, rubber worms it is.”
Images of last night keep rushing back into my mind, and we’re really sitting here, talking about bait?
He passes me the rod. “Here, use both hands and hold the bottom like this …”
He moves behind me so my back’s nestled against his chest, his muscular thighs caging me in as he teaches me how to cast in slow motion. I can feel his heart beating in his chest, and mine picks up speed to match. I feel safe and protected; it’s a feeling I’ve come to associate with Leo, like I don’t have to think quite so hard when I’m with him, like my survival instinct can finally relax and I can let down my guard.
“Then, you release, just like that,” Leo says as the line soars ahead, landing in the water with a faint plop.
He holds the fishing pole lightly as I stay seated between his legs, neither one of us moving even though the lesson’s finished.
I brush fingers along his jaw, which is scruffier than I’ve ever seen it, noticing the patches of silver and white hair that sparkle in the sun. He’s got a faint crinkling around his eyes, a testament that he does indeed smile enough to form a wrinkle or two. Or maybe those are old … from an earlier time when smiling was more common than furrowing his brow or scowling.
“What are you doing?” he asks as I trace my fingertip over the fine lines around his eyes.
“Just admiring your gray hair and wrinkles. I forget how much older you are than me sometimes.”
“Thanks for the ego boost.” He grabs my hand and places it back on the fishing pole, covering it with his own. As if to remind my wandering mind that we’re supposed to be fishing.
“I didn’t mean it as an insult. I like your wrinkles and your gray beard hairs. It makes you look distinguished and gives you character.” I try to spin around to face him, but he tightens his hold around me to keep me in place.
“You have an interesting way of complimenting someone.”
I glare at him from the corner of my eye. “Are we really just going to sit here and pretend that either of us cares about fishing right now?”
Leo doesn’t even flinch, just keeps his eyes on the water as he casts his own fishing rod. “You know what makes a great fisherman?” he asks rather than answering me.
I roll my eyes and stifle a frustrated laugh. “Do tell, Boss Daddy. What makes a great fisherman?”
I catch the slightest twitch of his lip out of the corner of my eye. This man is so frustrating, always dodging my questions and deflecting.
“Patience.” He slaps a palm over the exposed skin of my thigh, and it makes a loud thwack, stinging for just a moment before he rubs the pain away in soothing circles.
Great. And now, I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want him to do it again.
What the hell is this man doing to me? And how does he know what turns me on better than even I do?
“I think you could stand to learn a thing or two about patience, don’t you?”
He slides his hand a little higher on my thigh, and I have to clench my thighs together, feeling that all-too-familiar ache, the ache that is a persistent reminder that my body still very much needs a release.
My head falls back against his shoulder as I melt, opening my thighs in a silent invitation. I’m practically panting, and I don’t care where he touches me. I just need him to put me out of my misery.
But as soon as I start to drop my fishing pole, he pulls his hand away, taking the promising electric tingles with him.
“I don’t remember telling you to drop this.” He places the fishing pole back between my hands, waiting for me to tighten my grip before he continues his exploration.
Fuck me, this man knows exactly how to torture me. He can’t ever let it be easy, and I think that’s one of the things I love the most about us. Leo understands me in ways that I don’t even fully understand myself. It’s like I’m learning new things I like every time he touches me.
“Very good. I’m pleased to see you’re eager to learn this morning. I thought you might need a little more convincing, but it seems like you got a taste of something you liked last night,” he hums in my ear, and I tighten my shaking hands around my fishing pole, gripping it like it’s the only thing tethering me in place.
He slides a hand underneath the hem of my cropped T-shirt and bites back a growl. “You and these fucking crop tops are going to kill me—you know that, baby girl? Now, hold your pole steady—unless you want me to stop. We’re not leaving this boat until you catch a fish, so however long this takes is up to you.”
I swallow a gulp as I cling to my fishing pole, saying a silent prayer to the orgasm gods that something happens soon. I don’t know if I can survive much more of this. I’m so desperate that I think he could tell me to jump in the lake and catch a fish with my bare hands and I’d give it my best try.
“You have no idea what you do to me, the way you drive me crazy with need, the restraint I’ve shown from the moment I met you and you opened this pretty mouth.” He slides a thumb across my bottom lip, and I melt against him, boneless and floaty.
“Then, why don’t you stop talking about it and show me?” I say in challenge.
“Trust me, I’m planning on it, but first, I need you to know something about me, and I want you to listen carefully because I’m only going to say this once …”
A shiver runs down my spine as my heart races in anticipation, and I don’t dare move.
His hand moves to my neck, grazing over my skin in a soft tickle before blanketing his palm over my throat. He doesn’t squeeze; he just holds me like he’s commanding all my attention. It’s so possessive, like he’s claiming me, and I’ve never been more eager to be claimed by someone.
“I can’t give you anything more than this. I can’t give you normal. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I have very specific tastes… are you okay with that?”
I blink innocently, though I’m sure my racing pulse gives me away. “Am I okay with what? Sorry, I need to know what you’re insinuating before agreeing. I need to hear you say it …”
He exhales heavily then says, “I require a certain amount of control, and not only in the bedroom. I think we both know by now that I have a certain weakness…”
“You like to be called Daddy,” I supply for him, and I swear I feel his dick grow harder.
“Yes. I do. Is that something you’re comfortable with? Are you creeped out that I want to hear you call me Daddy while I play with your pretty pussy, while I slide my tongue over every inch of your perfect, golden skin and show you what it’s like to be worshipped by a real man?” He drags a finger slowly down my body, igniting a rush of heat inside me, and I let out an involuntarily whimper.
“Answer me, Ivy. I need to hear you say it,” he demands, mocking me with my words from just a moment ago.
“No, I … uh … I actually think it’s hot,” I finally say and I feel him relax at my admission.
“Good.” He lets out a sigh. “So we’re clear what this is. I can’t afford you getting attached. I decided a long time ago that my work is too important to have distractions, and you, baby girl, are a hell of a distraction.”
His erection grows harder, pressing against my ass, and I take the opportunity to rub myself against him.
“It doesn’t seem like your dick shares the same sentiment.”
He tightens his grip on my neck. “You’re right about that, which is why I’m offering to bend my rules for you, only until the festival. We’ll have a little fun, fuck each other out of our systems, and then you’ll leave. You’ll move on to your next adventure while I stay here and dedicate the rest of my life to my work.” He drags his hand from my neck, grazing his fingers over the side of my breast before settling at the apex of my thighs.
I wiggle a little more, my soaked panties an ever-present reminder of just how much my body craves him. At first, I feel a tiny twinge of disappointment at his offer, but who am I kidding? This is exactly what I’ve wanted since I met the guy, and he’s being up front and honest about his boundaries. What else do I really expect?
“Can you handle that?” he presses, and I realize he’s waiting for me to respond.
“Sounds perfect. When do we start?”
“If we do this, then I’m not going to hold back from taking you exactly how I want. Does that scare you?”
“No,” I answer immediately because the only thing that could scare me about Leo is missing the chance to be with him, of living my whole life with the regret of not listening to my entire body, which is screaming and begging me to say yes.
“I won’t coddle you, and I won’t give in to your bratty demands for attention?—”
“I don’t want you to.”
He shakes his head, like he’s frustrated that I’m being so agreeable, like he wants me to say no and make the decision easy for him. “I will punish you when you act out, but I’ll only push you as far as I know you can handle …”
“I know that. I trust you.” My words come out in a whisper as a rush of adrenaline soars through me, lighting me up with excitement.
“Fuck. Why do you have to be so goddamn perfect?” he grunts, blowing a heavy breath through his nose. I feel it on my neck, and I shiver at the rush of warmth.
My legs fall open, begging him to touch me. I hear him stifle a groan just as a hard yank pulls the fishing rod, jolting me forward with it and startling us both.
“Holy shit … I think …”
I tighten my grip to keep it from flying away, but suddenly, the tension is too strong.
Leo quickly jumps in, shaking the cobwebs of lust from his brain and grabbing the pole to hold it steady. “Looks like you got a bite.”