Chapter 31
I lace my fingers with Ivy’s underneath the table as Roman goes on and on about a new tenant in one of his rental properties.
It’s the night before the festival, and we’re at my parents’ house for family dinner, celebrating all our—and when I say our, I mean Ivy’s—hard work. She’s done so much to plan this festival, and thanks to all her creative ideas, I know it’s going to be the best one yet.
It’s hard to believe it’s already here. I can’t believe I only have three more days with her. I’ve already upgraded her flight to first class—though I haven’t told her about it yet—and upgraded her luggage to something bigger, something that can hold all her new clothes I bought her even though she still mostly wears the same three pairs of overalls all the time.
Fuck, I’m going to miss her.
I’m going to miss her so damn much. Falling in love with Ivy wasn’t something I ever saw coming, and I can’t say I didn’t put up a fight, but really, how could I have expected it to be any other way? She’s a ninja like that—gets under your skin and burrows herself inside you, and before you even realize it, she’s got her name carved in your heart.
Though I’d love nothing more than to tell her how I feel, I can’t bring myself to do it. The last thing I want is to confuse her any more than she already is. I don’t want her worrying about me or feeling guilty for leaving, not when she’s got her whole life ahead of her. She’s moving across the world, and even though I’d love to be selfish and ask her to stay, I could never do that to her.
So, I’ll keep my feelings to myself and love her through my actions. I’ll savor every moment while it lasts, and I’ll spend the rest of my life picking up the pieces of my broken heart and still consider myself the luckiest man in the whole goddamn world.
“I cannot believe the festival is already here. Can you, Frank?” my mom says as she nudges my dad.
Dad takes a swig of his drink. “You’re right; it feels like just yesterday, we were all sitting right here when these two offered to help run it.”
My dad’s eyes move between us and narrow in on me like he’s picking up on something that’s not quite right. Since I was a little kid, he’s always been able to see straight through me, always known when something was bothering me.
I purse my lips and smile. “It’s been quite an undertaking, but if anyone could make it fun, it’s Ivy.”
I squeeze her hand under the table, and she flashes me a quick smile. I immediately recognize it as a forced smile—I know every expression this girl makes; I’ve been studying her from the moment we met.
Maybe she’s thinking about the list?
Or she’s nervous about the event?
I don’t have time to overthink every possibility because my mom raises her glass for a toast.
“Here’s to another successful Phantom Fest and the best one yet!”
We clink our glasses, and I hold Ivy’s gaze and mouth, What’s wrong?
She shakes her head quickly and brushes me off. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” But then she releases my hand from under the table to grab a roll and never returns it.
It’s not like her to dodge my physical affection; in fact, I halfway expected her to fuck with me, try to give me a hand job under the table as payback. But she’s not acting like her playful, spunky self, and all I want to do is get her alone so I can fix whatever’s going on in her head right now.
“So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something, Leo. I know I already announced Carl as my successor, but it was always meant to be you who took my place, son. You were born to run this company, and there isn’t a soul I trust more to do it …”
My eyes snap to my father, and everyone’s side conversations go silent. Ivy’s hand finds mine, and she gives me an encouraging squeeze.
“I … I don’t understand. Are you serious? What about Carl?”
My dad grins, his eyes finding my mother’s. “Carl put on a good front; he was in on it the whole time, but he never really intended to take the job. I just needed a way to get your attention.”
My mouth falls open as I try to understand what he’s saying, and then I notice my mother attempting to hide her own grin behind her napkin. “Wait a minute. Did you know about this too?”
She puts her napkin in her lap, her smile now fully on display. “Of course I did. Who do you think gave him the idea? Don’t get me wrong; your father is a smart man, but I know my son, and I know how to get through to him.”
“I can’t believe this. So, all this time, you two were playing me …”
Roman lifts a hand. “Uh, I was in on it too.”
“We also knew about it.” Luka gestures between himself and Guy.
I shake my head in disbelief, feeling a sense of overwhelming relief that my dad never really doubted my ability, that I hadn’t lost his trust.
Suddenly, the realization that I’ve been lying to him this entire time about my relationship hits me, and I don’t feel so relieved. Instead, there’s a new layer of guilt that’s beginning to creep in. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep lying to him, especially now that he’s telling me how proud he is, how much he thinks I’ve grown.
I sneak a glance at Ivy, who’s biting her lip uncomfortably. She’s no doubt thinking the same thing I am. She gives me a little nod as she squeezes my hand. This is going to suck, but I know what I need to do.
“I’ve watched you grow so much over the last month, and I think you’re finally ready for me to pass you the baton. You’ve proven that you’re ready?—”
“Wait.” I hold up my hand to stop him. “I think you should know something before you say anything else …” I pause, taking a deep inhale. “I’ve been lying to you this whole time. Ivy and I aren’t really engaged. Hell, I’d only met her the night before you did, and that was just by chance?—”
My mother’s laughter is what interrupts me, and I clamp my mouth shut, feeling once again completely lost and confused as my entire family joins in with her. My eyes find Ivy, who thankfully seems to be just as confused as I am—thank God for that, I guess, as we watch everyone laugh at a joke we aren’t in on.
“Do you think we didn’t know that? Honestly, son, how blind do you think I am? I knew the moment I called her by name in the hospital. The poor girl didn’t have the faintest idea who any of us were, and I saw the panic in your eyes when we all walked in with her.”
She tilts her head side to side and gives me a little shrug. “I can’t say I expected you to keep the lie going. I only meant to ruffle your feathers after all.” She bursts into another fit of giggles, wiping a tear from her eye. “We even got Dr. Stone in on the joke. Everyone in town knew, and we were all having the best time, watching you pretend … especially at first.”
“You should’ve seen your face when you realized we’d packed you that child-sized tent,” Luka cuts in, and he and Roman high-five.
“That was all my idea,” Roman says, waggling his eyebrows.
I shake my head. “I can’t believe this. I feel like such an idiot.”
“Oh, honey, you’re far from an idiot by a long shot. We were going to tell you we knew, but we did hope you’d come clean and tell us yourself. We are so proud of you, despite all the lies; you really seem to have found yourself in all of this.”
My brothers join in, taking turns as they all share their own stories of how they knew I was lying. The noisy chatter and laughter fill the space, and I can’t help but notice Ivy isn’t sparkling as much as usual. She’s being awfully quiet and skipped out on several opportunities to share her own embarrassing stories about me, which isn’t like her at all.
Are you okay? I mouth, trying not to draw attention to us.
“Yeah, I think I’m just tired,” she responds in a whisper.
I know it’s a lie. Even when she’s exhausted, she’s never this quiet.
I try not to worry about it, but I can’t help myself. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not worry when it comes to Ivy.
After we all finish eating and my brothers and I help clean up after dinner, I find my mother and Ivy in the sitting room. They’re laughing and talking, looking so comfortable, like old friends, as my mother shows her my baby pictures from our family photo album.
“Leo, why don’t you join me for a drink?” my dad’s voice calls from over my shoulder.
I spin around to find him holding two glasses of whiskey. He nods his head toward his study.
Feeling a whole new rush of nerves, I slowly follow him, taking a seat in an armchair in front of his massive shelf of books.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Carl sooner. I was just so worried about you, and I didn’t know how to get you to listen. Then, your mom came up with the idea, and I figured I didn’t have anything to lose.”
“It’s okay, Dad; you weren’t wrong. It was the reality check I needed. So, I guess Mom’s plan worked.”
He lets out a chuckle. “It always does. Don’t tell her I said that though.”
I take a sip of whiskey and laugh as he tells me about his plans for transitioning, filling me in on upcoming expansion plans and Roman’s rebrand that’s starting to take off.
“I know you’ve always put pressure on yourself to be perfect … especially after the explosion incident in Texas … but I want you to know it wasn’t entirely your fault, and you’ve never given me the chance to tell you?—”
I shake my head. “Dad, you don’t have to say that. I know what I did?—”
“Let me finish. I need you to listen, and I need you to hear this. Yes, your guy was a poor hire, and he was a drug addict who came to work under the influence, but the problem started before all of that. There was an issue with the machine; it’d been assembled improperly when it was built. That explosion would’ve happened one way or another regardless because it was a flaw in the actual machine. It was a ticking time bomb, and it just so happened to blow up when your guy was in charge. It wasn’t your fault, son, and nobody blames you. Even if it was your fault, you’ve done everything right to make up for it.”
I let this new realization wash over me, feel the knot in my stomach finally loosen. Hearing my father tell me he doesn’t blame me is everything I didn’t realize I needed, and I let myself drop the last bit of guilt once and for all.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear that, but I don’t think I was ready to listen until now,” I finally say as my throat squeezes with emotion.
My dad claps me on the shoulder, looking so proud and relieved. “I’m glad you’re finally able to hear it. You’re going to need to be a little more flexible now that you’re CEO … which brings me to my next question …”
I sit back in my chair, not knowing where this is going. “What’s that?”
He nods to the other room, where my mother and Ivy are sitting. “When are you going to tell her?”
I furrow my brows, feeling confused. “Tell her what?”
His face breaks into a big grin. “When are you going to tell her you love her? Don’t you dare try to lie and tell me you don’t …”
My face falls as I lean forward, propping my elbows on my knees. “I really wish I could, Dad, but I love her too much for that …”
Then, I fill him in on everything because God knows I need any help I can get right now.