Chapter 33
33
brONSON
F rom the stage, I can see everything.
Some don’t realize it, but my place near the back is actually the best seat in the house. I can see the crowd, their waving hands and cheerful faces. I can see the band, taking in every glorious moment with my friends.
And best of all, I can see Jordan standing in the wings. She’s always there at the start of every show, her watchful eyes big and bright. She’s rarely there for longer than a few minutes — there’s always something else for her to do — but I still look for her after each song.
She stood there longer tonight; her smile soft and content.
Then he was there, too.
And then...
His lips on hers.
Her lips moving to kiss him back.
For a moment, I lose count. I hit my drum on three instead of four. I make eye contact with Addison, the only one in the position to glance back and take notice.
I shake it off quickly, projecting a wall in my brain between me and Jordan and... Christian Myers.
The show goes on. Always.
It’s the one rule none of us dare to break.
Everything else, though.
Yeah, that breaks just fine.
Just like always, we’re the first ones at the venue and the last ones out. We sign autographs and take selfies, giving our fans every bit of attention they deserve. And, just like always, I receive waves of attention in return.
You’re the best drummer who ever lived, man.
Your solo in Pure Blue always makes me shiver.
You’re so good!
I smile. I nod my head in gratitude. And sometimes, if a lady is bold enough to ask me to, I’ll lean in and whisper something dirty in their ear.
But not tonight.
Tonight, I just want to leave .
I want to curl up in my bunk at the back of our tour bus and try not to think about how he’s probably still kissing her now.
How she’s probably still kissing him back.
“Hey, buddy,” Mac says from the driver’s seat. “You crashing here tonight?”
I nod, still in my seat. The others are already off the bus, making their way across the underground parking garage toward the elevators. The couples, hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm. Knox and Harmony. Harvey and Addison. August and Chrissy, apparently.
And Christian and Jordan. Not touching. But talking.
Smiling.
“If that’s cool with you,” I say.
“Always is,” Mac says. “Hell, I sleep better with you guarding my baby girl all night.”
I give the seat a pat. “I’ll keep a close eye on her.”
“Thanks.” He stands up, taking a stretch. “East coast. Hard to believe we’re in the home stretch already.”
I nod.
“Hey, bud,” he says, looking at me. “You good?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You seem a bit more... Bronson lately, that’s all.”
“Just tired.”
“Well, get some rest,” he says, grinning. “Tomorrow, we get up and do the whole thing again. Best job in the world, right?”
I nod in agreement even as my chest tightens again.
“Sleep tight, big guy.”
I give him a wave and Mac steps off, the doors firmly closing behind him. Taking a minute to secure the windows and doors first before flicking off the lights, I then shuck off my jacket and kick off my shoes.
I close the curtain behind me in the bunk, blocking everything out.
In my quiet corner of the world, I close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly before my thoughts kick in.
“Bronson?”
Her voice wakes me like a gentle graze on my cheek.
“Bronson, are you in here?”
I shift in the bunk, reaching out to push the curtain, but it opens before I get to it, revealing Jordan.
She smiles. “Hi.”
I bob my head, still half-asleep, but fully hers.
“Sorry for waking you, but...” Jordan sits down on the bunk across from me. “I really need to talk to somebody.”
I sit up, setting my feet on the floor between us, trying not to look at her too closely. A strange change, for sure. I usually take every peek at her I can. But not tonight.
“Something happened earlier,” she says after a minute. “I’m not sure how I feel about it.”
“With Christian?”
Jordan looks up, surprised. “How did you know?”
“I saw you guys talking,” I say with a shrug, hoping I don’t have to say more than that. “Caught a vibe.”
Jordan nods. “Yeah, he, uh...” She hesitates, a bit of blush filling her cheeks. “He asked me to go out with him. On a date.”
“Are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
She looks up, her big eyes locking on mine. “Well, we’re on tour,” she says. “I’m working. It’s probably not the best time for dating.”
“Others make it work.”
“Others aren’t me,” she says, chuckling. “I’m busy. So busy. All the time. And sure, you and I find time to have our fun, but that’s just fun. You know? There’s no pressure between us to be anything more than that.”
I nod, keeping quiet.
“But Christian Myers?” Jordan shakes her head. “He’s a lot. I mean, he’s a rock god. He can have anybody he wants, but he asked me. He… kissed me,” she says, the words sticking briefly as if she can hardly believe it at all.
But seeing is believing.
I study her, catching the lightness in her breath. The excitement in her eyes, albeit slight. “You want to go,” I say.
She says nothing for a moment, her expression blank. “I don’t know,” she says again. “I want to want to, I think.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Well, it’s Christian Myers,” she repeats, breathing a laugh. “Back in the day, I had such a huge crush on him.”
“Me, too,” I joke.
“He was the hottest thing in the world until Cobraville...” She shrugs instead of saying broke up — two words we never say out loud in relation to a band. “I didn’t even think he knew I existed. Until tonight. He told me he thought about asking me out back then.”
My stomach tightens. “You want to go.”
“I...” She exhales hard. “I’ve seen his bad side. And I’ve heard the worst of it and more from Chrissy. I know that he’s nothing but trouble, but I also know how much he’s done to change. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, either. Who is?”
I don’t reply.
“It’s like Melanie and Robbie.”
“Who?” I ask.
“Melanie Rose. The romance author,” she reminds me. “When we had lunch with her back in Chicago, we met her husband. Or her ex -husband. Her boyfriend? Handsome guy, but... anyway, they broke up because of his drinking, but he got clean and she gave him a second chance. Now, they’re so happy together.” Her shoulder rises and falls. “And Christian has been through so much, you know? Maybe he deserves the same. Everyone should get a second chance to be happy. Just look at Knox and Harmony!”
“You want to go,” I say again, this time slower.
Jordan looks at me. She swallows hard, her hands gently folding in her lap. “It’s nice to be wanted,” she murmurs. “And it’s not like men shower me with affection often, so I’m willing to admit I might be blind here.” She takes a breath. “What do you think? Is there... any reason I shouldn’t go?”
Yes.
Because I want you.
I’ve always wanted you.
And I...
“Bronson?”
I love you.
But she doesn’t love me.
“No,” I answer. “There’s no reason you shouldn’t go.”
Her eyes drift in thought. After a minute, she looks up again and nods. “Then, I’ll go,” she says.
I do nothing as Jordan rises off the bunk.
“Thanks, Bronson,” she says. “I really appreciate you talking to me. Sorry for waking you again.”
I shake my head. No worries.
“Goodnight.” Jordan smiles. “Boston tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Jordan,” I reply.
She says nothing more. She steps off the bus, making sure the doors close safely behind her before walking away.
I return to my bunk.
Alone.