25. Twenty-Five
TWENTY-FIVE
O livia’s inability to go out for cocktails—a sport all its own in Las Vegas—meant we were going on different outings in order to spend time together these days.
Today’s outing was a simple one to the Stone spa.
Olivia wanted the works—she claimed once again that because she was pregnant with a Stone, the baby’s head would be extra big, and she deserved every treatment that was coming her way—and she invited Ruby and me along for the ride.
“I love spa days,” Ruby said as she relaxed in a chair. We were side by side, having our feet soaked, buffed, scraped, and polished. Since I normally did this stuff for myself, it was an odd experience. I found I enjoyed it very much.
“It is kind of nice,” I admitted even as I squirmed, thanks to the scraper being run across the bottom of my feet. I was both fascinated and horrified at the sloughs of skin coming off. “That is gross.”
“But in a good way, right?” Olivia prodded.
“Of course,” I said automatically.
“Do you know what else is gross?” Olivia’s tone tipped me off that she was about to take things to an uncomfortable place. It was too late to stop her. “It’s gross when one best friend embarks on a new relationship and doesn’t tell the other best friend.”
My jaw swayed in the breeze, I was so surprised.
“Smooth,” Ruby said, laughing. “I thought you were going to be subtle.”
My gaze swung to her. “You know too?” I had no idea what to make of that.
“Look how surprised she is,” Ruby said, laughter still in her voice. “Did you really think you were fooling anybody?”
I believed I’d been fooling everybody. Finding out I hadn’t been was …
well, it was frightening. “I’m not going to be fired, am I?
” I blurted the words before thinking about them.
“I agreed to lease half of Ronan’s studio for a year.
If I need to figure out a different way to cover the payment, tell me now. I can’t leave him in the lurch.”
Actually, Ronan had been annoyed when I insisted on paying him for the space. I couldn’t have it any other way. It would feel too much like charity if he gifted me the space. I didn’t do well with charity.
Olivia froze with her glass of cucumber water halfway to her lips. “Why would you be fired?” She looked genuinely baffled.
“Because fraternization isn’t allowed.”
“Says who?”
“Um, the handbook they give all of us when we’re hired. It’s important enough that it’s on the third page.”
Ruby laughed gaily. “Oh, geez. I forgot that was still in the handbook.”
Why wasn’t she more upset? “If you’re going to fire someone, make sure it’s me,” I ordered. “Don’t fire Ronan. He’s a good guy, and he deserves his job.”
“Should I take that to mean that you’re not a good gal and you don’t deserve your job?” Ruby fired back.
“No, of course not.” I shook my head. “It’s just… I don’t want him to suffer because of me.”
“Nobody is going to suffer,” Olivia insisted. “That fraternization rule isn’t enforced.” She seemed to think better of it when she said it. “Right?” she asked Ruby.
“Um, I was your brother’s boss, and then we had a baby together, and now we’re getting married,” Ruby replied. “If that rule was enforced, I would have to fire myself.”
“You’re management, though.”
“So?” Ruby wrinkled her nose. “That rule was put on the books back when my grandfather was in charge. He was not a fun guy. If I remember correctly, he didn’t care about the male workers when he enacted that rule.
He cared about the female workers. He wanted them to remain virtuous, which is kind of funny because I think the uniforms in the cocktail lounges back then involved cotton bunny tails and glittering cleavage. ”
My lips swished at the disdain so obvious on her face. “So fraternization isn’t banned?”
“Of course not.” Ruby waved off the suggestion. “You’re free to bone Ronan to your heart’s content.”
“Isn’t it the other way around?” Olivia asked. “Wouldn’t he be the one boning her?”
Of course my best friend would get caught up on that detail. She was an accountant. She liked things to be black and white.
“Either way, somebody got boned.” Ruby wasn’t about to be corrected. “Tell us what’s going on with Ronan.” She looked genuinely interested. “How long have you guys been together?”
“I wouldn’t say we’re together,” I hedged uncomfortably, darting my eyes away.
“Oh, you wouldn’t?” Ruby cocked her head. “What would you say?”
“Yeah, what would you say?” Olivia echoed in taunting fashion.
I shifted my attention to her. She was being snarky, but something else was lurking in her eyes. It was hurt. “Livvie.” I reached over and snagged her hand before she could jerk it away from me.
“What?” She made a face. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I meant it. I wouldn’t hurt her for anything.
“Why didn’t you?” She sounded more annoyed than pitiful. “Why wouldn’t you tell me about something so important?”
I hesitated, searching for words. “Because I didn’t think it was important when it started.”
Olivia snorted, then caught herself. “Wait. You’re being serious.”
“Of course I am. When this started, it was just a friends with benefits thing.”
“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Ruby challenged.
I was thrown. “Why wouldn’t I believe that?”
“Because anybody with eyes can see that you guys have been crazy about one another since you crossed paths again,” Olivia replied.
I barked out a laugh, expecting them to join in. They didn’t. That had me sobering quickly. “That is not true. I hated him the second I saw him.”
“No, you didn’t.” Olivia shook her head blandly. “Your interest was piqued from that very first moment. I saw it.”
“Heck, I saw it, and I don’t know you nearly as well as Livvie does,” Ruby offered. “Everybody was betting on it.”
“Ooh, speaking of that, Rex lost.” Olivia looked tickled. “He said you guys wouldn’t admit it for at least another month.”
“He was actually leaning toward six weeks,” Ruby corrected. “That means Zach won. Rex isn’t going to like that.”
I was flabbergasted, absolutely thrown. “But … it was a secret.”
Olivia snorted, then sobered when I glared at her. “The only people who thought it was a secret were you and Ronan.”
“Rex saw you at that weird Paris bar two weeks ago,” Ruby volunteered.
“Zach saw you zip lining before that,” Olivia offered.
“I saw you out at Delilah when I made Rex stop for the black truffle lobster rolls about six weeks ago,” Ruby supplied.
“I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that day—I thought maybe you guys were coming up with a plan to deal with the casino psychologist—but you only had eyes for each other, and I was fairly convinced it was a date. ”
I had no idea how to respond. “That wasn’t a date,” I said finally. “We’re just … having sex.” I steeled myself for the judgement.
Ruby giggled. “Yeah, Rex and I decided we were just going to have sex—for one night. We ended up with a baby and an engagement out of the situation.”
I wanted to throttle her. “We seriously agreed that we were just having sex.”
“So did Zach and I.” Olivia looked wistful. “Oh, that was a fun time. My skin was humming constantly. I was convinced we were doing something illicit even though we were married.”
“That was also different,” I argued. “You guys were trying to figure things out.”
“And you don’t think that you and Ronan are trying to figure things out?”
“I think…” Words wouldn’t come to me, and I sighed.
Olivia fluttered a sympathetic look at me. “The only reason I didn’t give you a hard time about hiding this from me was because I knew you were trying to figure things out. Otherwise, I would’ve been all over you.”
She leaned to her side so she could stare directly into my eyes. “Just out of curiosity, what did you find out about the prom ghosting?”
“Yes!” Ruby clapped her hands. “The prom. Was he a jerk then and is a better man now, or are you just ignoring the jerkiness?”
I scowled. “You guys are getting way too excited about this.”
“I’m fine with that.” Olivia waved off my opinion. “Tell me. Did he have a reason for doing what he did?”
I kind of wanted to torture her and keep the information to myself, but I didn’t. “Turns out he didn’t ask me to the prom,” I explained.
Olivia’s forehead creased. “Um, I remember shopping for the dress. You used everything you had saved because you were so excited.”
Thinking about that night, the feelings that had threatened to overwhelm me, had my stomach constricting. I forced myself to calm down, however, and shrugged. “Except he didn’t make the date with me. Becky Carpenter said he wanted to ask me, but he was nervous, so she made the date on his behalf.”
Realization washed over Olivia’s features. “Are you kidding?”
“Nope.”
“Stupid Becky Carpenter,” she growled, her hand going to her stomach, which was growing more and more impressive each and every week.
“Who is Becky Carpenter?” Ruby asked.
“Our high school nemesis,” Olivia replied.
“Nemesis?” I sputtered out a laugh. “That’s an interesting word choice.”
“It’s the truth.” Olivia didn’t back down. “She was evil. I forgot that she said he wanted to ask you out.” She looked stricken. “Had I remembered that little detail, I would’ve put two and two together a long time ago.”
Sheepishly, I nodded. “When I thought about it after he told me the truth, I wanted to kick myself.”
“So you were holding a grudge against him that was undeserved,” Olivia mused. “If you think about it, you were in the wrong.”
I reached over and poked her large stomach. “I’m never wrong. I was simply misguided.”
“For twelve years?”
“Knock it off.” I wagged a finger at her, earning a laugh. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“You’ve been keeping the secret to end all secrets from me for months,” Olivia replied. “You need to be punished. I’ll be on your side in a week.”
“And until then?”
“Until then, I’m on Ronan’s side.”
“How do you know he even has a side?”
“Because you’re obviously starting to panic,” she replied, not missing a beat.
“And right on schedule too,” Ruby drawled.
“Yeah.” Olivia looked far too happy with herself. “I knew you were close.”
I didn’t like her knowing attitude. “Close to what?” I demanded.
“Close to admitting you’re falling for him.” She said it with such conviction that it was obvious she didn’t expect anybody to argue with her.
“I am not falling for him.” I hoped to match her conviction, but my voice was squeaky. “I’m not,” I repeated, frowning at myself because even I didn’t believe that. “Oh, crap,” I muttered, slapping my hand to my forehead as reality set in. “I am falling for him.”
“And there it is.” Ruby nodded approvingly. “The first step to overcoming every obstacle is to admit that you have a problem.”
“She didn’t say that falling for him was a problem,” Olivia argued.
“It is, though,” I blurted. “It’s a huge problem. I am not in a place where a relationship is a good idea.”
“Join the club,” Ruby said dryly.
“Right?” Olivia laughed and high-fived her sister-in-law.
“I’m being serious.” I couldn’t believe they were persisting with this … giddiness. “I’m not emotionally prepared for a relationship.”
“Except you are in a relationship,” Olivia pointed out. “You guys spend all of your time together.”
“Not all of it,” I hedged.
“Almost all of it.”
“We just have a lot of the same interests.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Ruby asked.
I shrugged. I’d been thinking about exactly that a lot lately. “I’ve dated my fair share of artists over the years,” I said. “It never works out.”
“That’s because you always picked flakes before Ronan,” Olivia argued. “I love you, but I was convinced your picker was broken. That’s another reason why, when I realized something was going on with you and Ronan, I decided not to confront you.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s your rationale for that?”
“If I’d confronted you then, you would’ve ended things to prove me wrong.”
That was a load of crap and yet… Hmm.
“You know I’m right.” Olivia wasn’t gloating now. She was calm and collected. “It’s okay to admit you like him.”
I inhaled deeply, and when I exhaled, my breath was shaky. “I do like him. I like him way too much.”
“Why do you say that?” Ruby challenged.
“Because we agreed it was just going to be a sexual thing. We were going to OD on each other and then burn out.”
“Are you close to burning out?”
“No, but … we agreed.”
“Yes, and Rex and I agreed that we were going to be friends who have a baby. Olivia and Zach agreed it was a fake marriage that they would end in a year. Things change, Tallulah. Feelings grow. Maybe you should try embracing it instead of fighting it.”
What she said was reasonable. Still, I couldn’t let go of my misgivings. “But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“He does,” Olivia said emphatically.
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I’ve been spying on you.” Olivia was guileless despite the admission.
“No, it’s true,” she said when I opened my mouth to protest. “I sit at a table just outside the lounge—I don’t want that bitch you work for coming at me—and I watch the two of you as if you’re my new favorite television show. You’re not fooling anybody.”
“It’s true,” Ruby said solemnly when I glanced at her. “I sit with her sometimes. You guys have become our favorite soap opera. We’re shipping Rolah hard.”
I was well and truly thrown. “But … I would’ve noticed.”
“Not if you spend all your time watching him.”
Did I do that? “I?—”
“Don’t.” Olivia raised her finger to stop me. “It’s time to put all your cards on the table.”
I pressed my lips together and didn’t respond. She wasn’t done, so I waited her out.
“Do you have feelings for Ronan?”
“Of course. I just don’t know that they’re forever feelings.”
“Do you think you’re going to stop feeling them anytime soon?”
“I … don’t … know.” When I tried to think about it, I came up empty.
“Well, I think that’s what you need to figure out.” Olivia was matter of fact. “Personally, I already know the answer to that question. When you figure it out, you’re going to have all the answers you’ve been looking for. I’ll be here to gloat when it’s time.”
I touched my tongue to my top lip. “And you think he feels the same way?”
“I really do.”
“Maybe you should ask him, though,” Ruby suggested. “You’re not going to believe us. You should hear it from him.”
“What makes you think I’ll believe him?”
“Because you want to” was her simple reply.
I should’ve laughed at the response, but she wasn’t wrong. I did want to believe him. “I’ll think about it,” I said finally, my eyes moving forward so I could focus on my pedicure. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll think about it.”
“That’s a step in the right direction,” Olivia said. “Trust me. Take a chance. You might get everything you never knew you wanted.”
And what if I did? Would that be a good or bad thing? That was the biggest question I was struggling with. What would getting everything I ever wanted even look like?