CHAPTER 7 MILI
T he man stirs. He groans quietly, and I leap back from his chest. His eyes are a cavernous black, and his shoulder-length hair is fair as crystal. He’s unlike any creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. He looks at me, teeth gritted and jaw clenched with pain, and says, “Who are you?”
“I’m Milica, but you can call me Mili. Everyone does.” He tries to sit up, his eyes clouding over with confusion, and maybe fear. “Don’t!” I cry out. “You’re hurt. Rest a moment.”
He pushes me off him with ease, and I scramble to catch myself on the path. “No, who are you? Where am I?” He puts his hands behind him and presses up, lifting into a sitting position.
I reach to hold his shoulders and say, “Please, you need to hold–”
“–Stop, you’re making me uneasy!” he yells, shuffling back on the stone. He cries out in pain and clutches his side. “Oh, gods, ow!”
As he continues pushing up, I float a wind of calmness to him, infusing it with feelings of trust and safety. I pray it will be enough, because I’m worried he’s hurt himself in a way I can’t fix, and standing right now might worsen it.
Luckily, he sighs after a moment, and his breathing slows. “Okay,” he says. “Okay. I’m sorry, I’m just very confused.”
“I understand,” I reply gently. “I was walking back from deeper in the forest and I heard you falling through the trees. I tried to catch you with my powers, but I failed. For that I am so, so sorry. I have been trying to heal you for the past few minutes, but your injuries are severe. Are you in any pain?”
“Oh, it’s not so terrible,” he answers, chuckling. He winces as the laugh goes through him – I worry he’s broken a rib. “I’m just a bit banged up. You said I fell from the sky?”
“I think so.”
“Well how in the Realm did that happen, I wonder?” He looks utterly bewildered, though he’s trying to hide it with humor. He laughs shakily, and I smile sadly at him.
“I don’t know. Can you fly?”
“I cannot.”
I shake my head, brows furrowed, while thinking through how this could have happened to the man. He interrupts my thoughts and says, “Thank you for healing me. I’m sorry –sorry I was so angry with you at first. I just, I can’t really remember ... anything.”
“You can’t remember anything ?” I ask, concerned.
He closes his eyes, pondering, then opens them and responds, “Well, intuitively, I can tell you my name is Kar. That’s all that comes to me now.” He takes a hand and brushes it through his silky white hair, and I realize he’s mirroring me as I subconsciously fidget with my own. It feels odd but I shake it off because there’s something enticing about him. He’s handsome to be sure, and when he darts me a dark look, it pierces right through me. I must admit, it excites me. I don’t need any excuses to touch him, do I? I consider he might ought to try standing, and hold out a hand to help him rise to his feet.
His legs are shaky, but Kar manages to stay standing. I smile at him and say, “Look! You’ll be just fine, see?”
Kar laughs at my optimism and winces again at the motion. “Terrible not to be able to laugh.” I realize our hands are still entwined, and I drop them quickly, feeling butterflies rise in my stomach. He raises an eyebrow when I break contact, but doesn’t say anything. Then, he takes a step closer. “You seem like someone I can trust. Is that true?”
I stand taller, trying not to feel frightened of the intense question, and nod solemnly. Kar nods back, a focused expression on his face. I reassure him, “I’m a protector in these lands. While you are with me, no harm will befall you.”
“What town is this, if I may ask?” he says, head tilting slightly to the side.
I smile at his curious expression. “This is Ethelinda. We’re one of the Southernmost civilizations in the Realm. Faeries and other kinds of magickal creatures abound here, and kindness and peacefulness are the central values of our people.”
Kar nods once more, and slowly reaches to hold my hand. Although I’m shy, I let him. “It sounds beautiful. Like you.” I blush at the compliment, but don’t pull away. Something about him is drawing me in, and I want to know him more.
“Shall we go to the town?” I ask. “I can show you my home, and find you somewhere to rest while you recover?” ... Perhaps even my home, I think to myself, but only if you don’t ask nicely. I immediately stop that line of thought. I try not to be too shocked with myself, but apparently, I like a sense of danger.
He smiles crookedly as if he can read my thoughts, then, we begin walking through the forest together. I hold an arm under his shoulder at times to help him balance, and he clutches my hand almost the entire walk. We talk quietly part of the journey, laughing here and there at little jokes, but mostly we travel in a sort of mysterious silence. It’s new and exciting with him, I realize.
–––
We walk through town, and more than a few faeries stare at Kar, beautiful stranger that he is. He ignores the attention (or perhaps doesn’t even notice it) and walks along, seeming to grow stronger with each step.
“How are you feeling?” I ask as we near my cottage.
He grins at me and shrugs, leaning over to brush a hair out of my eyes. My cheeks flush at the touch, and I look down as I smile. “Never better,” he replies. Then, we arrive at my home.
“Um, there is someone inside, just so you know.”
He raises an eyebrow. “A lover?” he teases. His words are light, but there’s some strange coldness in them; I shrug it off, though, since I may be imagining it.
“Her name is Aurora. She’s my companion.”
Kar glances at the door, and frowns. “You didn’t mention a companion.”
“She’s loyal, I promise,” I reassure him. “She will not harm you.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he whispers on his breath, “and you know it.” He leans over to me and kisses my cheek fiercely, teeth grazing softly as he pulls away. I know my cheeks are burning red, but I pretend they’re not and move to open the door.
Once it’s open, I move aside to let Kar in. He steps over the threshold gingerly, looking almost-nervous. I tell him again, “You’re safe here. I swear it.” He nods, eyes scanning the room wildly, but continues in.
We make our way to the little loveseat by the small fireplace, and he sits. I offer him some soothing tea but he asks for something stronger. His request makes me smile so I quickly find some mulberry wine in the kitchen before returning to find him looking through my bookshelf. He’s thrown several books to the floor messily, and has his nose deep in one of my precious antiquity spell books. I gasp at the sight, and he looks up to me, caught.
“I’m sorry,” he says, “I was too curious not to look.”
I hate that I instinctively smile politely, although my heart is pounding at the strange intrusion. “It’s alright,” I say (too brightly to be genuine). I go quickly to the bookshelf and grab the ancient grimoire from his hands, hastily placing it back in its place. He helps me replace all the books from the ground, apologizing all the while, and I smile again and tell him it’s fine, nothing to worry about (damn, why am I so polite), all the while wondering who I’ve really let into my home. Let’s just say that the thrill of danger from a minute ago got old fast.
We sit, then, and have the mulberry wine without speaking. I say nothing out of fear I’ll just say something nice . After a few minutes, though, he breaks the silence and asks, “You’re quite magickal, then?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t remember if I am or not.”
I shrug cautiously. “Well, most everyone is magickal in some way. I’m sure you will remember, soon.”
“I hope I do.” He sighs mournfully and takes my hands in his. “Mili, I am truly sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I suppose I just hoped ... hoped that I would see something that helped me remember .”
“Ok, Kar,” I say softly. A single drop of saltwater falls down his cheek, and I can’t help it, my eyes start to feel like they might fill with tears of my own. In a way, I feel for him. He might be a handsome mysterious stranger hiding something that is possibly dangerous, but he’s also a pathetic creature clearly in pain. “I understand, I promise. I didn’t mean to be so alarmed, of course you want to try and find the answers that you need,” though not be too preoccupied with decorum, I think to myself.
He nods, brushing his single tear away so quickly that it reminds me a bit of Aurora’s waterworks when she tries to get something out of me. Then he says, “It’s alright. I suppose it’s been a hard day for both of us.”
At that, I nod readily, mustering up another smile. “That it has.” I rub his hand gently with my thumb, and he leans back onto the couch, brushing his silvery-white hair behind his right ear. He’s so unusual, maybe that’s why I’m suspicious of him, but he’s so handsome. I take one hand, then, and stroke the ends of his hair just above his shoulders. It feels almost like mine, smooth just shorter, and I smile. “What is it?” he asks.
“Your hair. It reminds me of my own.”
“Well,” he says, “I’m flattered by the thought.”
“Why is that?” I ask, blush already rising to my face.
“Because you’re beautiful.”
I try to think of something clever to respond, but come up short. Instead, I sit next to him, and lay my head on his shoulder. My stomach twists with the touch, although I’m not sure why – arousal? Fear? Shame? There’s certainly something in me that’s awakened by Kar’s presence, but it’s hard to tell what it is. Something about him excites me, but I still feel sort of ... on edge around him.
“Mili?” he asks, interrupting my train of thought.
“I’m sorry. I was lost in my thoughts.”
He smiles, and strokes my cheek. My breath hitches at the touch, and I turn to look up at him, wide-eyed. “Well, come back to me, please.”
I sit there a moment, then nod. I sit up suddenly, my heart starting to pound at our closeness, and make to move away. He grabs my hand roughly, but loosens his grip after I cry out in shock (and nearly pain).
“Don’t go,” he says. I stare back at him, stomach still twisting with conflicting emotions. He seems to sense my inner turmoil, because he smiles soothingly and says, “I don’t want to frighten you, but you ... you entice me. There’s just something about you I want to be close to. Do you feel it, too?”
“I don’t know what I feel.” I shrug, feigning casual composure, but twisting and turning on the inside.
“Let me touch you,” Kar whispers, standing and pulling me up with him. I stand to face him, knees nearly trembling, and he brushes my hair behind my shoulders. “So ... pretty. Delicate.”
I turn away, feeling somewhat appraised, but he takes my chin gently between his fingers and turns me to face him. His hands are cold, and I shiver. At the soft breath that rushes through me, Kar laughs softly. His eyes darken, and he cocks his head.
“I want to bed you, Mili.”
My heart skips a beat as I hold in my breath. There’s at least one reason why that would not be a good idea. “I can’t. Aurora–” I respond in a haste.
“She can join us if she so pleases. Mili, don’t you feel a pulling towards me? Don’t tell me I’m the only one; don’t leave me in this alone. Please, Mili?” I stare at him, uncertain, and he says, “Touch me. Trust me, here.”
He places my hand on his chest, and I feel the cold of it through his thin tunic. I shiver again.
He smiles, then. “You are aroused.”
I can’t tell if that’s what this is – arousal, or something being very, very wrong. But Kar is here, he has nowhere else to go, and he is very handsome. Maybe this is a mistake in the making, but I’m not perfect and never claimed that I am. I sigh, still internally debating, but he gazes so intently at me, as if he wouldn’t rather be anywhere but here. And those stormy dark eyes looking straight inside me. That look disarms me, and I take a cautious step towards him, pressing my whole forearm to his chest.
“Good girl, Mili, you’re a good girl,” he murmurs. The sound of his voice dropping low causes me to move myself closer to him, and he wraps an arm around my hips, resting a hand on my behind. He squeezes tightly, and I choke out a gasp before he leans in and starts to devour my mouth with his.
Oh gods, what am I doing?
Kar tastes like smoke and lilac, a rougher version of his musk (which reminds me of flowers resting in the late night). The sensation of ash and floral kisses overwhelms me, and I moan softly into him. At the sound, he moves his other arm to my ass, too, and lifts me up to hold me against his waist. I don’t care if this is a mistake. I wrap my legs around him, twisting like a vine, and he bites my lower lip.
“Ow!” I call out.
He shushes me and says, “I’m not going to hurt you, darling. Just a bit of teasing here and there.”
I’m too worked up to think too hard about what he means, so I just nod and pull him back into me. There’s a strange sensation while we’re kissing, of being pulled in two directions. I wonder, briefly, if it’s guilt for giving into him while Aurora and I are technically companions, but that doesn’t resonate. It feels like I’m being tugged to somewhere else. I just don’t know where.
“Stop thinking so much,” he whispers into my mouth. It’s hard, but I decide to try. I kiss him harder, squeezing my eyes shut and focusing on the taste of his smoky floral breath, the feel of his cool back beneath my fingertips, his white hair brushing against my face.
He groans into me and sits on the couch, with me now sitting on his lap. I feel him pulse beneath my groin, and I gasp. I pull back to look into his eyes – those stormy black eyes – and wonder, is this what I want? But then his mouth is on mine, tasting like ash and flowers, and I wonder what it would be like to taste him, his member, his neck, his release. As if he can read my thoughts, he laughs quietly and flips us over so he’s lying on top of me.
“Mili?” I sit up immediately to see Aurora standing in the doorframe, looking horrified at the sight of this stranger and me. “What – who is – how could you?”
“You must be Mili’s companion,” Kar says, smiling. “Come, join us.”
I whip around to face him, shocked at his immediate handling of the situation, but he doesn’t waver. He smiles at Aurora, and gestures with his hand for her to sit on the chair opposite us. She’s smoldering with rage, but collapses down anyway.
“I am Kar. I wanted to meet you, but you were asleep.”
“Who the hell are you?” Aurora spits out.
My mind swirls with the predicament of balancing the two of them. “Aurora, please. He’s very ... kind, he’s a – a friend!” It’s not really a lie, but it’s not the truth either. If I’m not careful, I will talk myself into serious trouble before the day ends.
Aurora knows how to reply to me. “A friend who looked like he was mouth-raping you. Lovely.”
Kar still smiles, looking almost like a snake baring fangs. I shake at the sight, but the threatening visual vanishes just as it came. “Would you like to join us, Aurora?”
Aurora growls. “Don’t refer to me as if we’re friends . You’re practically my enemy.”
“Oh, my,” Kar tuts. “Isn’t it a bit outdated?”
“What is?” I ask, confused - confused about his question, but also confused about why in the Realm did I get myself in this situation. It’s that godsdamned dragon, he’s at fault, he’s gotten me all hot and bothered, and now I’m basically looking for trouble.
“The reluctance to share.” Kar replies. “To indulge each other in mutual company. Have you never ... done something like this, Aurora?” I have a feeling the question is oriented to both of us.
Aurora just stares at him, so I answer, “I haven’t. This is not exactly as common in Ethelinda as it is in other parts.” Then, I look to her and nod, hoping that I look encouraging.
“I ... have not,” Aurora says.
Kar nods, looking between the two of us, then he laughs softly. “Well, this is exciting, then! Aurora, will you start with Mili, then I will take over?”
“What?” she replies, scowling.
I’m as shocked as Aurora and at the same time in total denial of what my ears are hearing.
“Well, since Mili is the current object of our affections, we can both have our way with her. Tell me, Aurora, have you truly never fantasized about seeing Mili in the act? Not just with you, but as an observer? Doesn’t it appeal to you?”
Aurora looks at me, then, seemingly caught between answers. I realize, she has imagined it –seeing me with another person. My eyes go wide with a sudden rush of sensuality at the realization that Aurora might not be as ... possessive as I’d always thought.
I’m going through a second round of denial before Aurora says “well, it does sound, perhaps a bit, intriguing. Mili is beautiful, after all. I just want to take care of her. Sometimes I worry that I can’t do it all on my own, that I’m not enough for her.” She looks directly at me as she speaks, making me feel even more guilty than I ever thought I could feel.
“This is perfect, then!” Kar grins. “Shall we begin, then?”
He looks to me for confirmation, and of course this isn’t happening but someone let my body know because I nod. Then he looks to Aurora, who nods too, smiling softly, and still looking straight in my eyes.
“Aurora, have your way with her.”