Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
T he days passed by in a whirl, thanks to Philippa, who had waved through their costs, adding an extra twenty percent onto the expenses estimate her company was providing, for what she termed ‘little extras’.
Nisha and Chrissie resumed a working relationship in the classroom, but as if by silent agreement, they’d stopped talking about their lives outside school altogether. Chrissie was relieved. It took her off the emotional roller coaster she’d been on since the start of term.
Chrissie worked with Nisha, Dan and increasingly Philippa on planning the trip. Permission letters were sent out and enthusiastic children drew endless pictures of baguettes and the Eiffel Tower – and in one case, an Eiffel Tower made out of baguettes.
Chrissie’s journal was more full of questions than ever before. The planning made for a good distraction during the day, but each evening, her thoughts were dominated by the events of the recent weeks, and the flashbacks she still had to the sight of Nisha making tea in her underwear in her flat after the rainstorm.
A week before the trip Chrissie found herself transitioning from ‘cat’ to ‘cow’ and back again in Rae’s yoga class, breathing in all the right places, and still somehow her mind was full. She seemed unable to “breathe out the complexities of life” as Rae advised the class to do.
They caught up for their post-class drink and chat, and Rae questioned Chrissie on what was going on.
“The same, really,” Chrissie told her. “I try to be friendly and a good colleague, and it’s fine at work, but Nisha seems to have closed down. It’s like she’s pulled down the shutters.” Chrissie clasped her hands together. “She’s not nasty or anything, but she’s not really engaging with me on anything that isn’t essential. I feel like I’ve really messed things up, but I can’t work out why.”
“Have you considered that she might feel rejected by you?” asked Rae, thoughtfully.
Chrissie shrugged. “I don’t really think she’s into me, to be honest. It’s clear she’s still getting over her ex-boyfriend, and she’s more interested in criticising my life choices than talking about how she feels.”
“Yeah, but don’t they say attack is the best form of defence?” said Rae, sipping their oat milkshake. “You said she didn’t understand why you’ve set yourself up to be single. Is that code for her being hurt that you don’t want her?”
“But she didn’t want me in the first place,” said Chrissie, exasperated. “She left me before, she still won’t explain why, and now she’s shutting me out.”
“Hmm,” said Rae. “I wonder.”
Chrissie rolled her eyes. “Anyway, enough about me and my misery. I’m even boring myself now. How is this Clodagh you’ve been seeing?”
Rae’s eyes brightened as they spoke. “Oh, she’s really good fun. We spent last Sunday afternoon at a street food fair and tasted everything available.” Rae smiled. “She really knows how to live, you know?”
“Sounds full of beans,” said Chrissie, wondering privately whether anyone could describe her in terms like that these days. Was Nisha right? Had she changed? Was she too buttoned up?
More for the journal later…
“In the best way,” Rae added. “Actually, she’ll be heading over here in a few minutes. We’re going to a gig at the Carpenter’s Arms.”
“Nice,” said Chrissie, “so I get to meet her. Excellent.” Thinking about someone else’s love life was so much more straightforward.
“But back to you just for a moment,” said Rae, looking serious. “While I agree Nisha was a bit out of order in what she said to you, I do think you owe it to yourself to have a proper conversation with her. I wonder if some of the rules you set yourself a year ago might be in need of review?”
Chrissie didn’t get a chance to answer, because a woman with curly shoulder-length hair and a giant smile came into the bar and flung her arms around Rae.
“Rae-Rae,” said the woman who Chrissie had to assume was Clodagh, “I’ve missed you!”
Rae blushed – the first time Chrissie had ever seen that happened – and stood to greet Clodagh with a kiss. “Hey, Clodagh,” they said, “this is my friend, Chrissie.”
Clodagh’s mouth twisted slightly as she looked at Chrissie, and the smile faded a little. “Hi,” she said, holding out her hand for Chrissie to take. “Nice to meet you.”
It seemed an oddly formal way to address her, especially given how enthusiastically she’d bundled into the café bar. “You too,” said Chrissie. “Right, I need to get going,” she added, feeling a sudden chill in the air. “I need to get some info over to Philippa before tomorrow.”
“Good luck,” said Rae. “I’m sure she can be a bit tiring.”
“Ah it’s ok,” said Chrissie. “I think perhaps I judged her a bit harshly. She’s a woman who likes to get things done, and I can get on board with that.”