Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
T he Vine was busy, the Christmas decorations already dripping from the ceiling. “It’s a bit early for all this,” said Rae, meeting Chrissie with a kiss on her cheek.
“Never too early for Christmas,” replied Chrissie with a grin.
“You’re on good form,” said Rae, taking a seat.
“Well, yes, I guess so,” Chrissie agreed.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that something happened on that school trip.” Rae had put their elbows on the table, and was giving their friend a hard stare.
“Ok,” said Chrissie, blushing, “it’s a fair cop.”
“You and Nisha?” said Rae.
“Me and Nisha. Oh Rae, honestly, I’m so happy. I know I said I had all those rules and I couldn’t break them, but I realised that you can’t live life by the same strict set of rules the whole time. You have to let your life breathe – like you let your body breathe in yoga.”
“Nice,” said Rae, “sounds amazing. And for what it’s worth, I’m really pleased for you. You deserve to be happy.”
“I used to think I didn’t deserve that, not after what I’d done,” Chrissie told her, picking up her phone to scan the QR code and scroll through the menu.
“None of us are perfect,” said Rae. “And on that note, I need to tell you about Clodagh.”
“Oh yes,” said Chrissie, remembering the cold look Rae’s girlfriend had given her. “Is everything ok with you both?”
“Really good,” Rae said, grinning. “But I think I ought to explain something. When you met her a few weeks back, no doubt you noticed she seemed a little ‘off’ with you.”
Chrissie nodded, unsure of what was coming next.
“I asked her about it,” said Rae.
“God, you’re so good at just having the difficult conversation, aren’t you?” said Chrissie, genuinely impressed at her young friend.
“So, it seems she’s pretty friendly with Kiera, your ex.”
“Ah,” nodded Chrissie, a frown forming. “That would explain it. And of course it’s her right not to like me.”
“Well, yes,” said Rae, “her right not to like you, but not her right to be gittish about it. You didn’t hurt her.” They steepled their fingers. “We talked about it, and Clodagh realised she’d been a bit cold and unpleasant towards you. She said she wanted to apologise.”
“Oh hell, don’t let her do that,” said Chrissie, “that would be mortifying!”
Rae chuckled. “I thought that might be the case.”
“Let’s just start again next time we meet.” Chrissie looked up before continuing. “Assuming there will be a next time.”
“Yes, there will,” said Rae. “I’m sure of it. She’s threatened to turn up at my yoga class next week, which could be entertaining. She’s very bendy, but she’s not very co-ordinated.”
Chrissie dissolved into laughter. “I really don’t want to know any more about this woman!”
“It’s nice to hear you laugh,” said Rae. “I think this Nisha could be good for you. Maybe you’ll introduce us?”
“Maybe,” said Chrissie, “although it’s still very early days.”
“I have a good feeling about this.” Rae shot Chrissie a wink. Chrissie could see why they were a hit with the bubbly-seeming Clodagh.
“But in the meantime, I need to think about my future more generally,” said Chrissie.
“Oh yes?” Rae put their head to one side, the back of their mullet drooping over their shoulder.
“Yes. An opportunity’s come up at the school for a graduate teacher training place. I thought I’d need to give up working there if I was going to train as a teacher, but apparently not.”
Chrissie had been thrilled when she’d spotted the opportunity advertised on the noticeboard. It would of course be promoted outside the school too, but it was a chance to train to be a teacher on the job.
“I keep meaning to talk to the head about it, but if I’m honest, I’m sort of afraid of what she’ll say.” Chrissie bit her lip.
“Training to be a teacher?” said Rae. “What a great idea. You should so go for it.”
“I’m not sure,” said Chrissie. “It’s been a long time since uni, and training to do something new feels really daunting.”
“But you’d get to train while still working at your school, right?” Rae pointed out. “That sounds ideal. You know the people, they know you. And it sounds like you’re well respected there.”
“Well, I guess so, but as a teaching assistant. Being an actual teacher is a whole different ball game. What if I’m not up to it? What if they tell me I’m not good enough to do it? I’d still have to work there after that.” Chrissie fiddled with a serviette absentmindedly.
“But what if you are up to it? And what if it means a whole new career for you?” Rae paused to suck up some milkshake through an unfeasibly wide paper straw. “You enjoy what you do, and you like your colleagues. How many times have you told me you’ve been left in charge of a class? They just wouldn’t do that if you weren’t any good.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” said Chrissie, ruefully.
“Oh shut up,” said Rae. “What does Nisha think?”
Chrissie looked down. “I haven’t told her. I’m most nervous about what she has to say about it, to be honest. She’s been teaching for years and knows so much more about it. I don’t think I could bear it if she didn’t think I was up to it.”
Rae put their chin on their hands and spoke slowly. “Have you thought about what you think of yourself? Have you considered whether you think you’re up to it and how you might feel if you don’t take this opportunity?” They straightened up and took another sip. “What you think about it all is really important. The most important thing, really.”
“Ok, Yoda,” said Chrissie, smiling shyly.
“Another drink?” said Rae.
“Sure.”
Rae got halfway up before sitting back down. “I don’t want to alarm you,” they said, “but there’s a bloke over there staring right at you. Do you know him?”
Chrissie’s heart sank as she looked across to see the man with long white hair.
Lucian. He looked even more unkempt than he had done before.