Chapter 57
Chapter Fifty-Seven
A t three o’clock on Friday afternoon, the children left school, and the staff got away from the site quicker than they ever had before. The inspectors had departed earlier that day, having left Mrs Hemingway with a verbal update. She had explained she wasn’t able to share what she’d been told, as it was still to be confirmed, but had added with a wink that she was sure all the teaching staff would have an ‘outstanding’ weekend. This had resulted in a cheer in the staff room.
“I guess we should have that talk,” said Chrissie, as she and Nisha left school for the last time that week.
“We should,” said Nisha. Her face was serious but unreadable. Chrissie had had plenty of time to think, and she already knew what she wanted to say, in spite of the fatigue of the hardest working week of her life. “Is it ok if we go back to yours?”
“Yes, of course,” said Chrissie.
“My place is still covered in paperwork from the inspection prep, and I don’t think I can face it right now.”
Chrissie took Nisha’s hand and wondered if they’d be doing this walk together again after the Christmas break.
Chrissie’s house was cold, so the first thing she did was put the heating on. “I know it’s only mid-afternoon,” she said, “but in the circumstances, I think it would be reasonable for us to have one glass of wine.”
“Or perhaps more,” suggested Nisha with a grin.
They settled themselves under a blanket on the sofa with their wine. Chrissie put her arm around Nisha and spoke first. “Ok, Nisha. I know you have things to say. But I need to say things, too.”
“You do?” said Nisha.
“Yes. I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I want to be honest with you.”
Nisha swallowed. “Ok. I’m not going to lie, you’re making me a bit nervous.”
“Sorry. Look, I’ll just say it. I’m not going to come to London with you. The offer of a training place is one I simply can’t turn down.” Chrissie turned her head to look at Nisha as she spoke. “But I love you, and I want to be with you. Both of those things are true. And while I have abandoned my ‘rules’,” she continued, using air quotes, “I do need to hold onto myself. It took me a long time to build my life in Birmingham back up after I burned it to the ground. I need to stay here and continue to put down my roots.”
Nisha opened her mouth to speak, her brows furrowed. “Sorry, please,” said Chrissie. “Can you just let me finish? This isn’t easy.”
Nisha pursed her lips and nodded.
“It’s only fair I tell you that I have accepted that training place here, and I will be staying here. Now what that means for us, is something we can work through. I’m not sure how a distance relationship would work, because I know you’ll be crazy busy in your first headship, and I’ll be up to my eyes in college work. I do think we owe it to ourselves to try, though,” said Chrissie. In her heart, she knew it would place huge pressure on their fledgling romance. But she also knew she couldn’t give that romance up.
“Well,” said Nisha, “that’s a lot.” She took a sip from her drink. “I have to tell you, I really don’t want to do a distance relationship.”
Chrissie’s heart plummeted as Nisha continued.
“I was involved in one years ago. I was with this woman for about two years. We lived a hundred miles apart. We thought we could make it work, but it really was just such hard work. I think even if you love each other, it puts too much pressure on a relationship. I don’t want to do that to you.”
Chrissie nodded and looked down into her lap, not wanting to show the tears that were beginning to pool in her eyes. She appreciated Nisha’s honesty, but it was painful. So they were to be ships that passed in the night, after all. Friends for a season.
“So I have come to a decision,” said Nisha, her own eyes brimming with tears. She put a hand on Chrissie’s bowed shoulder. Chrissie tried and failed to cover a sob, trying not to imagine what life would be like after Christmas, with no Nisha.
“I’m not going,” said Nisha quietly.
“What?” said Chrissie in shock, bringing her head up and almost head-butting Nisha.
“Steady!” said Nisha. “I’ve turned down the job.”
“But you said it yourself. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and it’s your chance to put things right after you ran away from London,” said Chrissie, trying to make sense of what she was hearing.
“Well, it seems I have a high class problem. I’ve been given two opportunities of a lifetime. The first one is that job. But the more important one is you. I let you go once, I ran away from you once, and I realised this week that if I went to London I’d be running away again. Running away from taking this opportunity, just in case we didn’t work out. I realised that sometimes you leave a situation because you’re ready to go. It’s not always running away. And the last thing I wanted to do was run out on you again. We have a chance to be happy, and I owe it to us both to take that chance,” Nisha concluded, following up her words with a generous mouthful of wine.
“Wow,” said Chrissie. “You’ve done a load of thinking.”
“Yes,” agreed Nisha. She gave Chrissie a sheepish smile. “I must confess, I had a little bit of help.”
“You did?” said Chrissie.
“Yes. Rae. You remember the other night when you wanted to go for a drink? Well, I met up with Rae. We really hit it off that night in the Vine, with Clodagh, and I remembered how much you say they’ve helped you sort out your thoughts. For someone so young, they always sounded so wise. I don’t have loads of friends here yet, and so I dropped them a line. They were amazing.”
Chrissie grinned. “They really are. I feel so lucky to have them as my friend. Even more so now, if they’ve helped you come to this decision. But are you sure this is really the right thing for you?”
Nisha stared at her as she continued.
“I would hate to hold you back,” Chrissie said. “What if this didn’t work out? I’d hate for you to resent me.”
“I could never resent you, Chris,” Nisha told her, her eyes wet. “Rae reminded me that if there are opportunities in London, there will be opportunities in Birmingham. Maybe even in our own school at some point – although I fully accept Mrs H will never retire.”
Chrissie laughed. “Not a chance. Did you talk to Mrs H about it?”
“Yes,” said Nisha. “I did. She actually gave me some good advice herself, and told me I needed to make the right decision for me. So I called Jake last night and told him that I really appreciated the job offer, but that I was turning it down.”
“You’re kidding?” said Chrissie, shocked that so much had happened without her even knowing.
“I’m not. I love you,” said Nisha, “and this time I’m going to stick around and see what happens next.”
“I love you too,” said Chrissie, taking both their wine glasses and placing them on a side table, before leaning forward and kissing Nisha. As she did so, she remembered all the times they had kissed before, from that first time in the tent, to the time in the rain, and all the times in Paris.
This wasn’t the beginning of the end. It was the start of the beginning.