Chapter 8 #2
“I, uh…I did a bunch of research a couple years ago,” I tell him, feeling desperate to fill the silence so I don’t keep thinking about the way Leo’s dick felt in my hand.
“I wanted to make sure I kept the ducks healthy. I knew bread was terrible for them, but I didn’t know what was best. They can have grapes—just not a lot.
They’re like little sugar bombs to them. ”
Rune laughs softly and takes two grape halves out of the bag and holds them out on his hand, bending low toward the ground. His back is in a graceful curve, and I wonder for a moment if any artist has ever drawn him.
He really is ethereal. His long hair is tied up in a bun, but a few pieces have escaped the hair tie, and it’s fluttering in the breeze, framing his chiseled jawline.
“You’re staring. I can feel it.”
“Sorry. You’re just really beautiful.”
He tilts his head toward me while still trying to hand-feed the ducks. “Are you, uh…hitting on me?”
“Oh god, no. I mean, not that I wouldn’t. Well, I mean I wouldn’t because work, and you’re not my type—not that I don’t think you’re attractive! But I just…it’s…”
He laughs and rolls his eyes. “Just checking. I’m married.”
Shock hits me. “What? I didn’t know that. Why don’t I know that! We’ve been working together forever, and you never bring her—him—them?”
“Him,” Rune says very softly. The ducks don’t come close enough, so he drops the grapes, then swipes his palms on his jeans with a heavy sigh. “We were separated for a while. I thought we were getting divorced, but he’s back. I think. I…it’s…complicated.”
“I hate that. When things are complicated,” I add. “I don’t know jack shit about marriage. I’m, ah…I’ve never even dated before, so I hope you’re not looking for advice.”
His mouth quirks, and he doesn’t look shocked, which I can’t decide if that’s a compliment or an insult.
“I’m not looking for advice. I don’t think anyone can help me with Neal.” He sounds sad, and I hate that because I like Rune, even if he kind of detests my best friend. “Is it okay if we don’t talk about this right now?”
“Yep.”
I know exactly how he feels. Well, not exactly, but if someone wanted to talk about my moment with Leo right now, I’d probably try and drown myself in the lake to avoid it.
Rune takes another handful of the duck food and leans forward again. This time, the male mallard creeps forward and takes a bit of lettuce off his fingers. “Ow, shit. Their beaks are sharp.”
I snort. “Yeah. That’s why I don’t hand-feed them. The crows are much nicer. And they bring me presents.”
“Do they really? I saw something like that on Instagram, but I figured it was bullshit.” He throws the feed on the ground and then leans back with one arm behind his head, effortless and casual in ways I don’t know that I’ve ever been.
He turns his head and stares at me. “Before here, were you a…what are they called? Bird scientist?”
I almost choke on my own tongue. “Uh, no? I mean, I guess I can see why you’d think that, but no. I didn’t do the whole college thing. I was planning on going to culinary school, but something happened, and I decided to change careers.”
His brow quirks up. “Did you almost light yourself on fire?” When my eyes go wide, he laughs. “Was that the thing that motivated you to fight fires?”
“Oh my god, no. Who would do that?”
He spreads his arms in a shrug. “Trust me. People get motivated to take on this job for the most interesting reasons.”
I realize he’s not wrong. Easton took the job because he was obsessed with the EMTs who saved his brother’s life. And Lex took the job after his neighbor’s house burned down and killed two of the children who lived there.
So I get it.
My reason isn’t heroic though. I did it purely for the ability to start making money as fast as I could.
It was just survival.
“No. I didn’t set myself or anyone on fire.
My mom, uh…” My voice cracks. I don’t know why I’m opening up to him, but I can’t seem to help it.
Now that I’ve spilled a few random details to Leo, it’s like the dam is broken.
“She couldn’t work. She was in and out of rehab for like five years, and my sisters were bouncing around to different foster homes.
I needed a job that paid better than my shitty line cook gig.
I was kind of hoping that even if my mom didn’t get sober, if I had my shit together, they’d let the girls come home to me.
This seemed like the fastest way to start a career. ”
He hesitates, then asks, “Why was your mom…you know…?”
That’s such a loaded question but I have some answers for him.
“She was a teenager when she had me. She was already kind of in the party scene, then she met my stepdad who was a lot older and got her into worse things than drinking and getting stoned. She got sober a few times—mostly when she was pregnant with the girls—but he went to jail and she spiraled. I asked her once why she couldn’t just stay sober for us.
She never really had much of an answer except that she didn’t think she could do it on her own without him.
” Just saying those words makes me sick to my stomach, but they came from her and they were honest.
“But she eventually got better…?” he starts.
Biting my lip, I nod. “I don’t know what finally changed, but yeah she stayed sober. My sisters were able to come home, but they were angry with her so they kind of clung to me. I started to feel, I don’t know, responsible for holding the family together, I guess.”
“So you regret working at the station.” He says it more like a question than a statement.
I snort and shake my head because even though I’m not content here anymore, I wouldn’t change a thing. “No. Everyone at the station is like family. I mean, some people can be dicks—”
He side-eyes me. “Like Axel?”
I almost burst into laughter. Axel’s the EMT supervisor who’s been on vacation for the last two weeks, and he’s kind of a dickhead to everyone.
I know four things about him. His parents came here from Ukraine when he was six, he got kicked out of four schools for getting into fights and he ended up getting his diploma online, he hates ketchup with such a strong passion that he tries to stop other people from eating it, and he always—and I mean always—finds a kitten on every single call.
He doesn’t keep all of them, but I know he has a few.
“Guys who literally collect kittens should not be assholes,” Rune says with a sniff. “I think he hates me because he thinks I’m weak.”
“Well, that’s fucking bullshit. You are not weak.”
He side-eyes me. “Axel tried to prevent me from getting hired into IT when I came back into town.”
I choke on a cough. Axel really can be a dick, but I’ve never seen him act like that before. “Why?”
Rune shrugs. “He knew why I left. He said it wasn’t a good enough reason to abandon an important job. He didn’t think I deserved to be here.” Rune falls quiet for a second, then says, “Easton fought for me.”