Chapter 12 #3
“Oh god.” I fall back, covering my face. “We are morons. We could have been friends this entire time.”
He laughs softly. “We can be friends now.”
I kind of want to cry. I swallow heavily, then nod. “Yeah. That would be good.”
“So, uh…” He’s so quiet that I drop my hands and look at him. “Maybe you’d also want to be my best man?”
I stare, my mouth half-open. “Wait. Me? You want me?”
He laughs again. “I mean, yeah. Well, unless you don’t want to. Which I get. You have a lot going on, and weddings are kind of—”
“No,” I interrupt a little too quickly. “I mean, yes, but…really? Me? Are you sure? I know you have a brother.”
He shrugs and glances away. “Andy and I don’t talk much. He kind of cut me off when I came out as bi.”
“Oh, I didn’t—wow. Okay. I didn’t know that.”
He suddenly looks worried. “If that bothers you—”
“I’m gay,” I blurt. I came out years ago, so I’m surprised he doesn’t know. But maybe he forgot. Or maybe Westin forgot to mention it. It’s not like I ever had a boyfriend to remind people anyway. “I’m definitely cool with it. I’m just sorry. That sucks.”
He lets out a sigh and shrugs. “Yeah. And I have friends, but sometimes I feel like they only kept in touch because they felt sorry for me, you know? After my brain injury, they started treating me like I was a kid, and…” He trails off, twisting his fingers together.
“Anyway, West and I want to keep this thing small, and you were the only person I could think of that I’d want standing with me. ”
“Even when you thought I hated you?” I ask.
He bursts into laughter. “Pathetic, I know. I was hoping it might soften you.”
“Bro, trust me. I’m a softie. I’m a marshmallow,” I tell him, leaning forward over my thighs.
After a second, I extend my hand, and he takes it with his right one.
His fingers don’t move much, but I squeeze them, and he looks like he’s been punched with relief.
“I’m so in. But I am going to give my sister a fucking king wedgie for keeping this shit from me. ”
“I’m duty-bound to threaten to kick your ass if you do,” he warns.
I grin at him. “Bring it on.”
Westin cries when she sees me and Henry sitting close together, and the moment is sweet, even if I’m still a little hurt that Henry thought I blamed him, of all people. He had no business caring about any of us, but he does.
And that has to mean something. Like maybe the universe sometimes does make sense.
Mom eventually wakes up before they leave, and I can see in her face that she’s not really processing the engagement. She hugs Westin and gives Henry a pat on the back, then thanks me for doing laundry before going back to bed.
It leaves an ache in the pit of my stomach when I hear her cough, then when I hear her nebulizer kick on. It’s a vicious reminder that things are still not great, even if it feels like they’re settled.
But with Westin and Henry gone, and my mom sleeping, I have the apartment to myself to finish cooking. I replenish her stock of freezer meals before looking at what I have leftover, and then my mind immediately goes back to Leo because with him, I will never know peace.
There are seven dinner portions, and as much as I could easily pretend that Leo doesn’t exist and take them to the station, I’m not sure I want to do that. As much as I want to avoid Leo, I’ve been thinking about him in the back of my mind all day, and I don’t know how to stop.
But at this point, I also don’t know if I’m going to bother trying. I like cooking for him. I like knowing that in some small way, I’m helping him. That even if he can’t stand me, in some way, he’s allowing me to take care of him.
I don’t know why that affects me so much, but it creates a burning fire in me that only wants to do more.
Putting everything into bags, I begin to gather up my stuff when my work phone starts to buzz in my right pocket. I hold back a groan just as a roll of thunder cascades over the apartment.
I know what’s coming. Stormy nights mean constant calls. It means needing more people at the station.
“Yeah?”
“It’s me,” Easton says. “You didn’t call me back.”
“Sorry, bud. I had a lot going on at Mom’s.”
“Everything okay?” Now he sounds worried.
“Never better. Just cooking.” I loop the grocery bag around my wrist. “You want me to come in, don’t you?”
“Rook’s got food poisoning or something. Axel took her in to get checked out, but she’s definitely going home after they get some fluids in her. Can you take the rest of her shift?”
He knows the answer is going to be yes. “I have to swing by my house first, but yeah.”
“You know I love you,” he says.
I laugh. “Uh-huh. Tell Cap to give me a fucking raise. That’ll really show me your love.”
He snorts in my ear. “Yeah. Then I’ll teach pigs to fly. Take your time getting here.”
That’s our super-secret signal for it’s been too quiet without saying it and jinxing all of us.
“It shouldn’t take me more than an hour.”
“See you soon,” he tells me.
I hang up, then stare down at the food for Leo and wonder if maybe this is all a big mistake.
Maybe, since I left, Leo hasn’t thought about me at all.