Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
LEO
It takes me a moment after the buzzing in my ears subsides to realize the feeling I have in my chest is anger. And shock, of course, from seeing Easton standing in the hole in my wall.
But I don’t know why he’s staring at us like we betrayed him. Unless…
“Are you in love with North?” I blurt without thinking.
Easton blinks like he’s been slapped, his gaze moving frantically from North to me, then back to North, who’s still holding my waist. He has a sudden coughing fit as Easton’s mouth opens and closes without making a sound.
“Oh god,” I gasp, “you are. You—”
“No!” Easton roars, then takes a step back and shakes his head. His chest expands with a heavy breath. “No. I don’t like guys, Leo. You know this.”
“I thought I did,” I snap. “Now I’m not so sure.” I started to suspect after his weird thing with Rune, but if that’s a cover because he’s in love with North, well, things are about to get really fucking complicated.
Slapping a hand over his face, Easton drags it down, muffling his groan, and then he turns his glare on North. “I want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing with my brother. He’s delicate! He’s not some plaything that—”
“Whoa,” North starts, holding up his hands. “You know I’m not that kind of person.”
Easton’s eyes narrow. “I thought so, but now I’m not sure what kind of person you are.”
North looks like he’s going to be sick and my anger goes volatile. “Uh, excuse me.” My voice is strong and steady when I cut him off. It’s probably the anger. And the offense because I’m not fucking delicate. “I’m standing right here, and I’m not a goddamn child.”
Easton goes quiet as his eyes fix on me. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, but I know what you mean, and that’s so unfair.” And now I’m shaking. Great. That is not helping my cause. I clench my hand into a fist, hoping Easton can’t see it. “I’m allowed to fuck people, and I don’t have to check in with you about it.”
Easton’s cheeks go red. “My best friend though? You’re allowed to just fuck my best friend, and I don’t get a say?”
“Why would you have a say?” North demands.
“Because you’re—” He gestures at North. “And he’s—” His hands wave up and down my body.
I lift a brow. “What does that mean?”
“It means this is fucking bullshit! You two lied about hating each other so you could do whatever behind my back, and you sat there lying to my face, telling me you’d never date again!
I was killing myself trying to make you feel like you were worthy of being loved, and you were probably laughing behind my back while I made a fool of myself! ”
I bite back a laugh. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. And for the record, this”—I wave my hand between North and myself—“was never about you, you arrogant jackass.”
Easton stares, then takes a step back. “You know what? Fuck you both.” Before either of us can respond, he turns and storms back out. A moment of silence later, I hear his truck door slam, and the tires squeal on the pavement as he pulls onto the street and drives away.
“Shit.” Panic hits me now. I feel it in my chest, trying to steal my breath. “Why am I not allowed to just be happy? Why is it that the moment I feel good, the universe kicks me in the ass?”
With a small sigh, North pulls me closer to him, and I go easily. My brother’s words hurt. I don’t really understand why he’s so mad about this. Does he really think I’m such a shitty choice that he can’t imagine North would choose me?
Or that I’m so pathetic I couldn’t find someone to love all on my own?
Burying my face against North’s chest, I breathe in the scent of him and let him rock me from side to side.
“You’re allowed to be happy,” he whispers.
“It feels like I’m cursed.”
“I know, but you aren’t. I promise.” He hesitates, and I can almost sense he’s holding something back.
When I pull back, his grip on me goes tight.
“Wait, just…let me…” He fumbles with his words, which isn’t like him.
“I need to say something, and it’s easier if you’re not looking directly at me when I do. ”
Oh god. Is this it?
Is he going to tell me that he has to choose his best friend? I would get it, of course. Easton really is a good guy and deserves loyalty. But I don’t understand why both things can’t happen? Why can’t North have us both?
He clears his throat. Oh god, here it comes.
“I love you.”
It takes a second for my brain to catch up with his words, and then my entire body freezes. If it weren’t for the fact that my lungs work with unconscious effort, I might have passed out because I can’t seem to make a single muscle work.
“I’m falling in love with you,” he goes on. “I know you love your brother, and you’ll do anything to make him happy, but please don’t leave me, okay? Not before you give us a chance. Please just…don’t.”
The way his voice shakes shatters me, and I move without thinking.
I break his hold on me, but only to take him by the face and pull him into a kiss.
We back up against the wall, and it gives a crack so loud, North rips his mouth away with a gasp.
But it’s only to drag me out onto the lawn so the house doesn’t fall down around us.
He doesn’t break his grasp on me. His mouth doesn’t leave mine.
People are probably watching, but what the fuck do I care? Let them watch. Let them see that while I’ve been a complete disaster for years, someone still wants me.
And not just someone. A good someone. A perfect someone. And I didn’t have to twist myself into new shapes for him to see a man worth loving.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I finally manage once the kissing has slowed into gentle pecks. He has me pressed against the side of the porch that’s still sturdy, and he lets out a quiet sob at my answer. “I promise.”
I don’t say I love you. Not yet. The words are there. They’re lodged in my chest and desperate to be spoken, but I’m still a little bit of a coward. I’ve only ever said them to one person before who wasn’t family, and he fucking died.
I can’t take that risk with North. Not so soon.
For now, I’m going to do everything in my power to show him how I feel, and if this is right—if he’s willing to be patient—then it is meant to be.
“Are you sure? After everything…”
“I’m sure.” My words sound as desperate as I feel. North’s hands on me are the only thing keeping me grounded, and I don’t think I can take the anticipation much longer.
I wasn’t sure I would be able to get in the headspace for this, but the moment we got back to his place, I couldn’t keep my hands off him.
It started with slow, easy kisses as we curled up on the couch.
We ate dinner together, and he scraped the bowl clean before setting the dishes aside, and now he’s between my legs, kissing up my thighs, careful with where my legs are tender but not so careful that I feel like Easton was right.
He hitches one leg up over his shoulder and meets my gaze. “You know I might not be good at this, right?”
I move my hand to his cheek, thumb grazing his kiss-swollen lips. “You’ve been amazing so far. And I trust you.”
He swallows heavily, then goes back to staring at my dick like he’s starving for it.
Gripping the base, I press the head to his lips, and he kisses it, suckling the precome off the tip. I trace a line over his mouth with the head, and his pupils blow wide, his throat catching with his swallow.
“Fuck,” he whispers, his voice shaking. “I think I’m ready.”
I trace his lips with my finger, then gently pry his lips apart with my thumb on his chin.
His lips open almost on instinct, and with a single push, I slide the head of my dick past his teeth and tongue.
For a moment, we both freeze with his eyes locked on mine, and then he closes his mouth around me and gently suckles as I rock forward.
“Jesus,” I gasp. The feeling of his mouth on me is so fucking much. It’s gorgeous. The feeling is lush and heavy, my body burning with lust. The need to grab him by the sides of the head and fuck his face is almost overwhelming, and it takes conscious effort not to do it.
I think he might like it though. No, I think he might love it.
His eyes are fixed on me as I trace a line around the circle his lips make, and he swallows, making the need for more friction almost unbearable.
“Tap me on the thigh if you need me to pull out.”
He hums, the vibrations almost undoing me, and he shakes his head just a little.
“I don’t want to push you too far.”
He releases me, and I feel a surge of regret as he takes the base of my dick with his right hand and squeezes.
“Leo.” His voice is hoarse. Rough. “I want this. I’ve wanted to taste you for so fucking long, and you have no idea how happy I am that you’re my first.” He strokes my shaft once, up to the head, down to the base, where he holds me again.
“And I want to spend the rest of my life knowing you’re also the only one I’ve tasted. ”
“God.” I surge in and kiss the taste of myself off his lips, then thud back against the headboard and close my eyes as he sinks back down.
This time, he takes me in a single swallow, and I can tell immediately he’s practiced this before.
Since I know he’s never been with another person before, images of him deep-throating a dildo flood my mind.
It’s so fucking erotic that I lose control, thrusting my hips forward as he relaxes his jaw.
I feel the head of my cock touch the back of his throat, and it spasms as he gags.
He swallows quickly, and his tongue folds around my length as he begins to suck me harder, and his jaw is trembling with fatigue after a few pulls.
But that doesn’t stop him. His fingers dig into my thighs, and he urges my knees to close around the sides of his head as he takes me even deeper.
He swallows again, hums, and that’s when I realize how close I am to losing it.
“Pull off,” I order.
“Mm-mm,” he answers back, shaking his head.
“Yes.” I open my eyes in time for his gaze to meet mine. “I want to come on your face.”
He lets go with a gasping breath, then leans in and bats my hand away when I reach down to stroke myself, taking my dick in his hand instead. I lay my fingers over his and guide his speed, and he follows like he was fucking born to take orders from me.
“I’m so close,” I gasp as pleasure rockets up my spine. “Fuck, you are so good. So perfect. You are everything, North. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” The words are coming out unchecked, a brutal honesty that might sound pathetic to some, but I don’t care.
He tips his head down, and his hips rock against the bed as he strokes me harder, faster, following my guiding hand. It only takes a few more thrusts to let go, and my orgasm hits, come spurting out from the tip, landing on his chin, neck, and shoulder.
His hips rock faster, and in my haze of pleasure, I realize what’s happening.
North groans, turning his face into my thigh, and he bites down on the edge of a moan as his hips stutter and then still. After a beat, he looks up at me, eyes red and feverish.
“Did you just—”
“No. But I’m so fucking close.”
I shift my leg off his shoulder, then roll onto my side. “Come here. Let me finish you off. Please,” I add when he hesitates.
He moves slowly, sliding up until we’re face-to-face, and then he takes me by the wrist and guides me to where he’s still achingly hard. I like the idea that he can come untouched because of me, but he’s done that enough. Now it’s time for me to give back everything he’s given to me.
I squeeze him gently, stroking him slowly with no real rhythm. Not yet. I want to draw this out, to let him feel it. He groans as I kiss his jaw and pick up speed, stroking him harder, faster, the way I know he likes it.
“Fuck. You feel so good,” he moans. “I’m sorry tonight was a shit show.”
Shaking my head, I remove my hand and spit into it, then coat his length before tucking him between my legs and squeezing down. He gasps, and his eyes find mine. “I don’t care. This is all I want.”
He chokes on his next moan as he begins to rock his hips, fucking my thighs as I flex and squeeze around him. His trembling fingers dig into my hips, yanking me close, and his thrusts become erratic, desperation fueling every movement of his body.
“Leo, Leo,” he breathes into my ear. He fucks my hand faster. “I’m so in love with you.”
I close my eyes and let myself feel him taking his pleasure in my body, knowing that I am his first. Knowing that I am his only.
It’s so much more than I ever had before. I will never regret my first love, but this feels different. It’s bigger. It’s important, like I worked for it. Like I chose it.
And he chose me back.
“I’m coming,” he gasps, and his hips stutter again. I feel his dick kick between my thighs, and just as he lets out a sobbing cry, his phone begins to ring a shrill, familiar tone.
His mother’s calling.
He’s too far gone to stop his orgasm, but I know his pleasure is interrupted because his cock softens almost immediately after he comes, and he sags against me. The next noise he makes is another sob, but it’s not one of pleasure.
“Why?” he breathes against my chest.
I hold him tightly as his phone goes silent, then starts to ring again. He hasn’t really seen his mom much since I’ve been here with him, but I know the alert he’s set for her on his phone.
And I know what it costs him every time he hears it.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I shake my head and hold him tighter. “It’s fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
Normally, he takes the phone into the other room, but this time, I pull him back to bed, and he doesn’t fight me on it. He taps her contact, closes his eyes, and lets his body collapse against mine as the line begins to ring.
“Hey, Mom,” he says when she picks up. “I’m in the middle of something. Can I call you back lat—”
“North. It’s an emergency!” She’s yelling loud enough for me to hear it. “I need you right now!”