Chapter 23 #2
Physically, yeah. But I’m not sure how much more of this any of us can take. “I’m going to talk to her right now, and I’ll probably have to get an ambulance out here. She doesn’t sound well.”
Westin swallows heavily. “She’s not.”
Yanking her into a hug, I squeeze her as tight as I think she can take. “It’ll be okay.”
She doesn’t answer me with anything except a ragged laugh, and when I pull back, I notice that Henry’s at the curb now. He carefully steps down, then takes my sister as I let her go. My gaze catches on Leo’s, who looks worried.
“Wait out here with them, okay?”
As I start to pull back, his hand darts out and grabs my wrist. “North…”
I can tell he wants to say it, those three words, but I don’t want to hear them now. I don’t want that first time to be part of all this. “Later.”
He nods, squeezes my wrist, then lets me go.
It doesn’t take long to get to the apartment, but right before I step through the door, I get a whiff of something intense, like orange oil. Then, when I turn the corner to the living room, my breath catches in my chest.
It’s a total disaster. She’s pulled all the photos and books off the shelves, ripped the cushions off the couch, and brought out her blankets from her bedroom. She’s standing over the small mountain of fabric, shaking what looks like a small vial of essential oil over everything.
“Mom.”
She doesn’t look over. Her movements are ragged and almost frantic.
“Mom!”
She doesn’t look over, but she does mutter something about matches and cleansing fire, which makes me realize I can’t fix this on my own. And as guilty as I feel, I have no choice but to make the call.
Luckily, I don’t need to use the main emergency line and instead tap the contact of the one person who can help fix this without making a big scene.
“Camilo,” I breathe out when I hear his voice answer.
“North?”
“I need help. Uh…it’s my mom. And it’s bad.”
“Tell me where you are and who I need to send.”
I think I love him for more than just being a good boss right now. “Is Axel on call? I think this is something for psych, and an ambulance might be best. But, uh…you might want to come along too. She might fight them, and I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“Text me the address,” Camilo says. “And don’t leave the scene.”
“Don’t worry,” I answer with a sigh, watching her rearrange a few cushions. “I’m not going anywhere.”
My attention is on the SUV with the station logo that’s pulling up in the emergency lane. Camilo isn’t alone. I see Easton’s curls before I see his face, but he’s out of his door and rushing toward me before I really have time to react.
I don’t know why I’m expecting a punch, but he drags me into a hug instead, holding me tight enough that some of the tension leaves my body.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, voice ragged. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a dick. I had no idea this was going on.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t actually know this was happening until she called,” I say as I pull back from him.
Easton nods, then looks over his shoulder, where Leo’s sitting on the curb with Westin and Henry. “This is a real thing, isn’t it? You and my brother?”
This isn’t the time or place for this conversation, but it’s going to be a minute before the ambulance gets here, so why the fuck not. “Yeah. It is.”
“Like…”
I pass a hand down my face and groan. “Like I’m madly in love with him, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it also wasn’t your business while we were trying to figure out what we were doing.”
“Enough canoodling,” Camilo says before Easton can answer me. He sets a hand on my shoulder. “Tell me what’s going on.”
It takes me a moment to get all of it out, but once I do, I feel a bit more unburdened. “Do you want to go talk to her?” I ask.
Camilo’s face shutters, and then he nods. “Yeah.” He looks over at Easton. “Go check on North’s sister and make sure she doesn’t need transport.”
Easton nods and squeezes my hand before letting go. “I’ll take care of her.”
My breath comes out in a relieved rush. I’m still kind of pissed at Easton for being a dick, but I also don’t trust my family with anyone else. I watch him approach, catching Leo’s nervous look, but I shoot him a wave and mouth, ‘It’s fine.’
Leo nods and presses his hand to his heart before turning his attention to his brother, and I spin on my heel, leading Camilo toward my mom’s place.
Camilo nudges me as we approach the door. “So. You and Easty’s brother?”
I flush. “It’s new. And not important right now.”
“There will be plenty of time to give you shit later. For now—” He grabs my arm and holds me back away from the door. “—I need you to relax. It’s going to be okay.”
His words are soothing, even if my anxiety is refusing to listen to reason. “Thanks,” I mutter, then I push the door all the way open and gesture for him to go in ahead of me.
My mom hasn’t moved other than to scoot back against the wall. Her knees are to her chest, and she’s rocking gently from side to side with her head lolling back and forth along the plaster.
“Mom. Uh…this is my boss. His name is Camilo.”
“Sounds Mexican,” she mutters.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I start.
He holds up a hand, and then he walks over and crouches down beside her. “My mom’s from Colombia.”
She opens one eye and stares at him. “Mexican.”
He’s far more patient than most people would be. “I have a few cousins married into the family who are. We’ve been there a few times. I took my sister to Tulum for her graduation present when she got accepted into her master’s program. She’s an archaeologist now.”
I never knew that about him, and it’s odd to hear him telling my mom personal things that he never talks about at work.
“My son could have been something, you know?” she says after a tense silence. “He was more like a little brother than my kid. I took him to school with me a couple of times when he was a baby.”
When Camilo glances over at me, my throat goes tight. I keep these things to myself for a reason.
“My parents didn’t want to help, but they also didn’t believe in abortion,” she murmurs. “Life would have been easier if I’d given it away or something.”
It.
Me. She means me.
“All of that sounds really hard,” Camilo says with almost no emotion. His shoulders are tense though, and I can tell he wants to say more, but it won’t help the situation. She’s not herself—but also, maybe she is. Maybe all of this is the brutal truth she’s been holding back all these years.
My throat hurts, holding back tears of rage and embarrassment and a little bit of sadness.
“Do I have to go with you?” she asks, sitting up for the first time.
Camilo sighs. “My friend Axel is going to come pick you up and take you to the hospital for observation.”
He doesn’t present it like it’s a choice. I brace myself for her to flip out, but instead, she drops her legs and leans forward and makes direct eye contact with me.
“I don’t want him to come.”
Camilo looks over his shoulder at me. “Your son?”
“Yes.”
Everything in me hurts now. It’s taking everything I have not to burst into a scream.
“I’ve put him through enough,” she goes on, and suddenly, it’s like all the fight leaves my body. Her tone is so fucking honest. “Call my daughter Starr. She can handle it. North needs to go home.”
“Mom—”
“I don’t want him here,” she interrupts like I’m not speaking, and she grabs Camilo by the front of his shirt. Her voice turns slightly hysterical. “Get him the fuck out of here.”
Before I can say anything else, a warm hand falls on my shoulder, and I look up to see Axel standing there.
“Hey, North. You wanna step out for a few minutes while we talk to your mom? You have a couple people waiting outside for you.” His voice is a low, soothing rumble, and my heart stops knocking against my ribs.
“Yeah. Thanks,” I rasp.
Camilo’s up from where he was crouching by my mom, and he steps up next to Axel. Normally, they’re like oil and water, but right now, they’re in sync. “It’s gonna be alright,” he tells me. “I wouldn’t trust anyone more than Axel to get her where she needs to go.”
I nod at them both, then turn the corner and see both Leo and Easton hovering in the doorway. They take a step back as I walk out, and then they both reach for me at the same time.
I freeze, and then Easton drops his hands first and gestures toward his brother. “Go on.”
“I—”
“It’s fine,” Easton says, and this time, he sounds like he means it. “This whole thing really sucks, and it’s okay to need someone else who isn’t me.”
Leo glances at his brother, then steps up and lets me fall into his arms. He’s shorter, but right now, he feels miles tall, and I let him drag me over to the curb and wrap around me as I start to shake apart.
The ambulance is here, and the lights are on, which makes the scene feel more chaotic than it is, and there are a bunch of people standing on their doorsteps watching.
I want to tell them all to fuck off. This isn’t a goddamn circus, as much as I like to call it one.
But I know better. I know how people are.
I can see my sister off in the distance, crying, Henry holding her with one arm as he balances on his crutch. My chest is aching, and I don’t know if I want to go home with Leo or fight my mom and insist on going to the hospital with her because it doesn’t matter what she’s put me through.
I’m supposed to be the one who fixes it.
“Why always you?” Leo whispers into my ear.
Shit. I hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud.
I swallow against a painfully dry throat, then shrug. “I don’t know. It’s always been me.”
“So maybe it’s time to sit back and breathe and let someone else handle it. Who did they call to step in?”
“Starr,” I rasp. “They’re trying to get ahold of her now.”
He hums quietly, stroking fingers along my arm. “You trust her, right?”
“I trust her.”
“Then let go. Just for a little bit, okay?”
Closing my eyes, I press my forehead against his temple and breathe in the scent of him. He smells like my sheets. My shower. My soap. My clothes.
Like mine.
“Okay,” I murmur back.
He holds me just a bit tighter.