Chapter 12 Faye
FAYE
Faye’s phone pinged as she finished wiping down the café tables. Reaching inside her apron for her phone, her first thought was of Peter, since he hadn’t been around recently. She read the text.
Lucy
Sorry, I’ll be about an hour late for dinner. The courier from the Order is late, and I can’t leave the library before handing off the grimoire.
Faye couldn’t believe she had forgotten about the girls’ night they had organised on Sunday. Between running the café and her new pet, it had slipped her mind.
Faye
Don’t worry. I’m still closing up. When you get here, just come in the back door.
Lucy
I don’t think Rosie is going to make it. She’s visiting her pack and was meant to return at six, but I haven’t heard from her. With the full moon, she tends to lose track of time.
Faye
It’s fine, I’m happy she’s spending time with her pack again. She can join us next time.
Leaving the back door open for Lucy, Faye hurried upstairs to her apartment to see what she could find in her freezer for dinner.
Lucy
The courier just called, I should be about 45 minutes! See you soon! x
“This will have to do.” Faye popped a frozen lasagna in the oven.
She didn’t want to spend money on takeout, and there was no way she could let Lucy pay.
She had already covered her portion of the bill when they were at the Dragon’s Inn for brunch, but she wouldn’t make a habit out of accepting that.
Lucy had argued that payment in baked goods was enough, but she didn’t want her friend to feel responsible for her.
Faye hopped out of the shower as the smell of creamy pasta filled the air.
She removed the dish from the oven and was about to pop it on the counter above the kitchen sink when a pair of bright red eyes staring through the window startled her.
Dropping the lasagna, Faye cried out as the glass dish smashed and steaming hot pasta burned her feet.
When she looked back up, the red eyes were gone. Not caring about her burned skin, Faye ran to the fire escape on the balcony, which lined up with the kitchen window. No one was there.
The cool breeze cut through her, and she realised she was only in a towel – not the best outfit if someone had been outside watching her.
Catching her breath, she stared out over the balcony, but no one was on the street.
Climbing back inside her bedroom window, Faye returned to the bathroom and ran her tender feet under the cold tap to soothe her burns before they started to blister.
How was it even possible for tomato sauce to get so scalding hot?
! Sitting on the tub’s edge, she ran her hands through her hair, wondering if she had imagined the eyes.
What if Ian was back and taunting her?
The panic attack hit so hard and fast she thought she’d lost power over of her limbs.
The cold water running over her feet helped the nausea, but not the feeling of burning from the inside out.
With Ian, she’d never had panic attacks.
Now that she had left, she couldn’t stop them, but this one felt even worse than the others had been.
The fear of his return, the thought of seeing him again, paralyzed her.
Her thoughts were cut off as she heard the door open and close. Oh God, is Ian really back? Has the warding failed? The blood pumping in Faye’s ears deafened her as she sank into the bathtub as if the porcelain walls could protect her.
“Scarlett is so cute! Luisa said you had adopted her,” Lucy said from the hallway.
Faye wanted to cry with relief as she heard her friend’s voice, but the adrenaline had dried them all up. She tried to speak, to warn her about the broken glass in the kitchen, but her words caught in her throat.
“Faye? Are you home?” Lucy called, concern edging her words.
Faye guessed she had discovered the mess in the kitchen when she heard the rush of footsteps.
“Is everything alright?” Lucy gasped, finding Faye in the bathroom. “Did you burn yourself?”
Faye didn’t want to be seen this way. She curled up in a ball, holding herself to try and stop the tremors. Scarlett lingered by the door, playing guard dog. She didn’t want to frighten her pet, but it was sweet she had led Lucy here.
“I’m fine. You can go. It’ll pass.” Faye struggled through the short sentences. Each word felt thick and heavy on her tongue.
“I’m not leaving you like this. You’re going to freeze.” Lucy turned off the shower.
“The cold water is the only thing stopping my heart from exploding. Please leave, Lucy, I know what I’m doing. This isn’t the first time.”
“How long has this been happening?” Lucy asked gently, taking a fluffy towel from the hook but keeping her distance.
“Since I left. Can you stop asking me questions? You’re making it worse,” Faye gasped, squeezing her eyes shut as the bathroom spun.
“Okay, no more questions, but you’re going to hate me for this: we need to go to the clinic.” Lucy hunkered down in front of her.
Faye let her put the towel around her shoulders. Despite the gentle touch, she couldn’t help flinching. The soft cocoon helped her feel safe.
“No, I can’t go to the clinic. Moving makes me sick.
Please, I just need to wait it out,” Faye pleaded, feeling as if her body was fused to the tiles.
She had to wait for the tremors to stop before she stood up.
She had learnt that the hard way, the first night she had spent alone; she’d lost power in her legs and nearly cracked her head on the side of the toilet seat.
The thought of going to the clinic, where she would be surrounded by people and noise, only added to her anxiety.
“Let me help,” Lucy said. “We’ll take it one step at a time, and I’ll hold your hand the whole way.” She took her hand, and Faye squeezed it tight as another round of tremors overtook her body.
“You won’t let go?” Maybe the clinic would be able to give her something to help her relax. She had been too ashamed to go before, but Gram’s calming tea clearly wasn’t enough to help her ruined nervous system.
“Not for a second.”
“I’ll go to the clinic,” Faye conceded.
“Take a few deep breaths with me,” Lucy instructed.
Even breathing deeply felt overwhelming at first, but following Lucy’s lead, Faye felt her heart rate start to slow. Lucy helped her out of the tub and into some dry clothes.
“I’m sorry,” Faye said as Lucy got her into her car. She’d seen the tears in her friend’s eyes at seeing her so broken and vulnerable. She never wanted anyone to see this part of herself.
“Don’t ever apologise. We all have our demons,” Lucy said, climbing into the driver’s seat.
Thankfully, the clinic was quiet in the middle of the week. Faye didn’t want the whole town to see her having a breakdown.
“Do you want me to stay or go?” Lucy asked as a nurse approached them in the fluorescent-lit waiting area.
“Don’t you dare leave me! You promised not to let go.” Faye grabbed Lucy’s hand and refused to let go.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Lucy smiled softly.
The nurse’s triage assessment didn’t take longer than five minutes. Faye was careful to leave out her sighting of the red eyes, claiming it was the pain from the burn that had triggered a panic attack and not the potential return of her life-draining partner.
“We’ll give you something to help you relax. While we’re waiting for the meds to kick in, I’ll apply healing balm to your feet to prevent any blistering or scarring,” the nurse said, taking them to a private room with lighting Faye could dim.
“Thank you. I’m sorry for taking up a bed with something so minor.”
“No need to thank me, and you aren’t taking up a bed. Mental health is just as important as physical, and chronic anxiety can be debilitating,” the nurse assured her kindly.
Once Faye was settled on the hard bed, the nurse administered the drugs through an IV.
Needles were nothing compared to fangs, but Faye kept that thought to herself as the nurse moved to the end of the bed to examine her feet.
Whatever was in the balm she used to coat the inflamed skin instantly took down the redness, and the stinging stopped.
Lucy and Faye exchanged a knowing look; the balm must contain healing magic.
Not that she was complaining – she’d take magic over hobbling around for days until the skin healed itself.
The nurse’s pager buzzed as she finished.
“Dr Ocean from psychology is on call tonight and has been notified of your admission,” she said. “She’ll be around to talk with you soon.”
“I’m not crazy,” Faye snapped, flushing as her blood pressure spiked. Every cell in her body screamed that she shouldn’t have come.
The nurse’s eyes widened. “Of course you’re not crazy. You’ve been through a lot, and your nervous system needs time and tools to heal. It’s completely standard for Dr Ocean to come and assess anyone who comes in presenting with stress or anxiety.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Faye said, feeling bad.
“Don’t be,” the nurse said kindly. “I’ve given you a small dose of sedatives to help with the tremors and get your heart rate under control.
I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but try and relax.
” She gently placed a weighted blanket on her legs, avoiding her feet so the balm had time to soak in.
“These blankets work wonders for my son, so we keep a few in the clinic. If it’s too much you can remove it, or if you want to an ice pack for the back of your neck to help with any nausea, just press the button beside you to call for me. ”
“Thank you. The blanket’s great,” Faye said, already feeling a wash of calmness starting to flow through her.
The nurse left them, so Faye rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes and let the medication work. Lucy didn’t try to fill the silence; she merely sat quietly, holding her hand until the trembling faded and her heart no longer felt like it was trying to burrow out of her chest.
“Feeling better?” Lucy asked quietly.