Chapter 22 Faye #2
“You have no idea! Burning the candle at both ends was killing me. Peter’s impressed me; he picked things up quickly, and after a bad batch or two, he stopped burning cakes.
However, he did forget to add parchment once or twice to the pie bases, and the pie weights cooked into the bases.
He also has a habit of burning himself with the steam from the coffee machine, but he heals quickly.
Otherwise, I’d be worried about my insurance.
He’s great with the customers, and he does things without me even having to ask,” Faye said, realising how much she had come to rely on him.
“How long has it been now?”
“Just over a month, and I’ve got dangerously used to having him around,” Faye confessed.
She left out the part about never going to bed alone anymore.
She blushed, thinking about their intense, toe-curling make-out sessions.
More than once, she had been tempted to take things further and had to take a very cold shower.
Still, she needed to take things slow, and Peter respected that.
The night always ended with him curled around her while she slept.
The collection of books beside her bed now rivalled the number of plants.
She was still getting used to having someone care for her without expecting anything in return. He went about his work, though he didn’t talk about his collections, and yet he was always there to help her when she was overwhelmed during rush hour.
Lucy frowned, and Faye sensed her friend’s concern.
“I know what you’re thinking – that I shouldn’t get too attached because he’s dead,” she said quickly, unable to stop her worries from escaping.
“That we can’t have a future together, no marriage or kids – but I don’t care about that.
He’s enough. I’m happy to take each day as it comes.
I never thought I’d live long enough to even have a future because of Ian, so I’m not worried about years from now.
How I’ll age, and he won’t – I can’t let myself go there.
This new life feels like a dream, and I’m not ready to wake up yet.
One day we’ll have to face reality, but we aren’t there yet, and even when that time comes, I’m just grateful for the time we’ve had.
” Faye bit her lip to stop herself from rambling and took a deep breath.
She didn’t know how much she’d been keeping in until faced with her best friend’s troubled gaze.
Lucy reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I wasn’t thinking any of that, I was just trying not to think about the twenty ways to descale and pickle lizards,” she laughed, breaking the tension. “But are you getting too attached?”
Faye hesitated, then nodded, unable to lie.
“But he makes you happy?” Lucy asked.
“More than I ever thought I could be.”
“Then just enjoy being happy. Whatever the future brings is out of your hands,” Lucy said, resting her hand over her friend’s.
“Good evening, ladies! I’m coming with food and beverages,” Peter announced suddenly, coming down the stairs to meet them.
With their heads buried in books, they hadn’t felt the time pass.
“I may have sampled the cookies you were testing, and you need to make some more. Cleaning is hungry work.” He put down the bag of food and tray of coffee a careful distance from the stack of books they were working their way through.
Mr Toade was kind enough to allow those studying or working to eat and drink so long as they were careful at the table.
“Haven’t seen you around the Manor recently. Where have you been staying?” Lucy asked him. He looked to Faye as though they had been caught doing something criminal by practically living together. Technically, he was dead, so she could say he was haunting her.
“Here and there.” He shrugged.
“Right,” Lucy mused, looking between them as if she didn’t believe a word.
“You don’t have to go,” Faye said as her friend got up and grabbed her bag.
“I should get Mr Toade’s text to the vault before it gets too late,” Lucy replied, snatching a cupcake for the road. “Make sure she gets home. She’s been researching recipes for hours, and I fear she’ll start hallucinating cakes and pastries.”
Peter winked. “My pleasure.”
Faye smirked as he sat down beside her.
“How did your search go?” he asked, so close she could smell his earthy cologne.
“Good. I found a couple of cookbooks, but I still want to try so much. Nothing feels good enough,” Faye said, closing her book. “Maybe I’m not ready yet.”
“What you create is more than good enough. Everything you bake comes from your heart and soul,” Peter reasoned.
“There’s a difference between being good and being great. What if I get to the competition and embarrass myself?”
Peter rested a hand on her thigh as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “You aren’t going to embarrass yourself; you wouldn’t have been accepted if you weren’t good enough, so please don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I thought it was fate – Rosie giving me the pamphlet and getting me entry without having to worry about it – but now I don’t know if I’m ready. I wouldn’t have entered if Rosie hadn’t mentioned it, and I know she was doing a nice thing, but maybe it’s too much too soon. Maybe I’m not ready yet.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I have something I need to tell you,” Peter said, and Faye straightened up so they were face to face.
“What? You’re going to disappear again?” she chuckled. “At least you’re warning me this time. Your help in the shop has been great. I’m going to miss the extra hands.” And it wasn’t just his help she was going to miss.
“I’m not going anywhere. I should’ve mentioned this sooner, but… I may have been the one who slipped Rosie the pamphlet,” Peter confessed.
“How? You couldn’t have. You weren’t even in town at that time,” she said, staring at him in confusion.
“Not directly, but I may have made sure the pieces ended up in the right places,” Peter said, looking guilty.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Faye asked slowly, not liking how he’d kept such a secret from her.
With her past, he knew how she felt about secrets and lies – even if it was just an omission, it felt like a gut punch.
She felt foolish for believing fate was finally on her side when it was Peter who had been pulling the strings.
“I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I wanted you to make the choice yourself.” Peter winced.
“But you still manipulated the situation – me and Rosie, ” she said numbly, thinking of all the times Ian had manipulated people behind her back or made decisions without consulting her so that things ended up going exactly how he’d planned them.
She knew he was nothing like Ian, that he was trying to help, but it was how he’d gone about it that troubled her.
“I didn’t mean any harm.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve had enough manipulative men in my life. I don’t need you pulling strings behind the scenes.”
“I’m sorry.” He bit his lip. “I was trying to help. I thought I was going to do something good.”
“I appreciate that you thought you were helping, but please don’t try to help, don’t try to protect me – just be with me!” she snapped, tired of people intervening in her life, regardless of their intent.
“That’s all I want – to be with you,” Peter said, putting his head in his hands.
Faye felt herself welling up, shaken by the thought of him keeping things from her. What if he was keeping other things from her? She hated how her past had made her paranoid about the one person who’d never done anything to hurt her.
“You should go. I need to finish up, and you’re distracting me,” she said, needing time to think. She couldn’t concentrate with him lingering.
“Are you mad at me? I really am sorry,” Peter said softly. She raised her hand, motioning for him to stop talking, and he did.
“Yes, I’m mad, but I’ll get over it. Please don’t lie, omit the truth, or try to help me behind the scenes. If you want to help, you don’t have to hide it. I need you to be honest with me, always.”
“I promise I won’t interfere again,” Peter said, but the troubled look in his eyes worried her. Was there something else he was hiding? Unable to look at him, she focused on the recipe before her.
“Thank you. I just need some space,” she said quickly before she changed her mind. “Please go home.”
He stood up slowly.
“Okay, but I’ll see you soon?” he asked, and she nodded. He kissed her cheek, and she felt herself wanting to crumble.
She hoped he would still be there when she turned around, but he was gone. For the first time in her life, a man she loved had done precisely what she’d asked him to, and it was the one time she didn’t want that.