Chapter Ten Ryan
Chapter Ten
Ryan
During lunch, I text Jason to meet me at the soccer field. I need to make sure Artemis doesn’t see this.
I’m on the bleachers, surveying the area and thinking back to a time when I ran on the field, was the star player on my soccer team. Mom and Dad were always in the stands, cheering me on, their voices louder than the other parents.
They encouraged me to dream big, to never give up, no matter what. And I’ve always taken their words to heart. I wanted to be the best version of myself. To conquer the world.
But not anymore. Now the world has swallowed me whole and doesn’t bother to spit me out.
“Hey.”
Looking up, I find Jason standing there. He plops down next to me. “Got your text.”
I reach into my back pocket and pull out the hundred-dollar bill. I hand it to him, and he adds it to the rest of his bills. I have no idea how he walks around with so much cash.
“I know I said this already, but thanks for taking my sister to the dance.”
I nod, keeping my gaze on my sneakers. They’re a little dirty. Guess I’m in need of a new pair, not that I’m interested in getting one. Seems useless to care about that sort of stuff when my life is crap.
“Sorry things didn’t work out, but I’m glad you guys can be friends,” he continues.
Why in the world would he think Artemis and I would work out? I just took her to the dance. It’s not like I asked her to be my girlfriend.
“Guess a crush is just a crush,” he says, then laughs. “I remember when I was crushing on Jenna so hard in middle school. I couldn’t eat or sleep or do anything.”
“Crush?” I ask.
“Sure. I mean, don’t most relationships start with a crush?” He pokes me in the chest with his elbow. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a crush on anyone.”
Sure I have, but I’m not thinking about that now. I’m more focused on what he just told me. Artemis has a crush on me? Or she had? Is that why she wanted to go to the dance with me? Why her brother paid me to take her?
I shut my eyes. No. I won’t let those thoughts consume me. Because the more I think about it, the more my resolve to push everyone away will crumble. And then what would happen? I’d get hurt again. I’d hurt those around me.
“Dude, you okay?” Jason asks with a lifted brow. “You’re tense.”
“Fine.” It’s far from the truth, but he doesn’t need to know all the crap I’ve been through. No one needs to know. I stand. “I’ve got to get back inside.”
“Okay, see ya.”
I don’t return to the school building. I walk to the center of the soccer field and let the memories wash over me. I know I’m just torturing myself, but right now I want to remember them, remember how things used to be. Remember that once upon a time, I was a normal kid with a normal family.
Dropping down, I take out my phone and continue the drawing I started this morning. Like usual, I have no idea what it’ll turn out to be, but that’s the interesting part.
I let myself get lost in the colors. Can picture myself showing it to my parents, just like I’ve done all my life.
I don’t pay attention when the bell rings. And by the time I realize lunch is over, I’m late to science.
The teacher excuses me, maybe because he knows I’m the guy with the dead parents. Bet my grandmother told the entire faculty to cut me some slack.
I catch Artemis watching me as I head down the rows and find my seat at the back of the room.
I can’t stop my thoughts from reminding me that this girl possibly has a crush on me.
But I need to pretend it’s not true, or else I won’t be able to forget about it.
And I need to forget. It’s the only way to keep my distance from her.
Yeah we have that school project, but I’m trying to see it as just as assignment and nothing more.
“I know you hate me.” Artemis’s words bounce around in my head. I don’t hate her. She has no idea how alive I felt when we danced together. And honestly, if things were different, I would have liked to hang out with her more, get to know her better. She’s nice and fun, can make anyone laugh.
But things are the way they are and I need to close myself off.
***
I follow Artemis up the stairs to her house.
No, mansion. The place is huge, ten times the size of my grandma’s house.
It sits in the middle of town, letting everyone know Mr. West is in charge, which he is, I guess.
Being mayor of town and all. From what I can tell, the people love him and are happy citizens.
Grandma told me the festival was a success, and all her cookies were snatched up within two minutes.
It was a mistake to go, though I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Up until a certain point.
“Why are you standing there?” Artemis knocks me out of my thoughts. She widens the door. “You’re not nervous to meet my parents, are you?”
“I don’t get nervous,” I say as I move past her into the building. I’m hit with a large foyer, two staircases on opposite ends of the room, and the shiniest furniture I have ever seen in my life.
I knew the Wests were rich when Jason pulled out all that money, but I’ve never seen so much wealth up close. For some reason, I feel like a commoner in my simple shirt and torn jeans. I don’t try to look good anymore, not like I used to. What’s the point?
“Let’s go to my room,” Artemis says, turning toward one of the staircases. I follow her and when we’re nearly at the top, a man meets us there. Her dad.
His eyes curiously move from his daughter to me. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Who’s your friend?”
Artemis gestures toward me. “Ryan Rogers. We have a school project.”
Her dad smiles pleasantly at me, holding out a hand for a shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Ryan. You’re Lauren’s grandson, aren’t you?”
I nod, accepting his hand. “Nice to meet you, too.”
He scans me from top to bottom. I’m not sure if he likes what he sees. Maybe someone as messed up as me isn’t welcome in this fancy house.
“I haven’t had the chance to welcome you to River Spring,” Mr. West goes on. His expression turns from pleasant to sympathetic, like he’s not sure how to act around me. Of course he knows about my parents. I wonder if he told Artemis.
“You remember the rules, Artemis. No boys allowed in your room.”
She rolls her eyes. “Dad,” she groans. “We’re working on a school project.”
“You can work on it in the study room. Go on.”
With another groan, she leads me down the stairs. I stop dead in my tracks as we pass the dining room. It’s the most lavish thing I’ve ever seen. With a huge chandelier suspended above, a large table that can easily sit over twenty people
“Why did you stop?” she asks. Does she not realize how lucky she is? Not only does she have two parents who are still alive, but she lives like a princess.
I shove my hands in my pockets. “Nothing. Just never seen such a thing before.”
She lifts a brow. “A thing?”
“Your house.”
Her eyebrows furrow. “Oh, yeah. I guess our house is big.”
“Big? You don’t know how lucky you are.”
Her mouth opens, then clamps shut. Her eyebrows knit.
“Forget I said anything,” I quickly say, not sure what’s come over me. It’s like I have no control over my thoughts anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m completely out of my element here. I’ve stepped into another world, one I don’t belong in.
“Okay,” Artemis says unsurely. “The room is this way.”
I trail her a few doors down, but we’re stopped by her mother in the kitchen, who calls for us to come in.
She’s at the stove, an apron tied around what looks like a designer dress. Her hair is the exact color as Artemis’s and she’s pretty much an older version of her.
“Who’s this?” Mrs. West asks.
“Ryan Rogers.”
She smiles. It’s the exact smile as her daughter’s. Lights up her entire face like she’s got the sun shining behind her eyes. “Hi, Ryan. Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m making Artemis’s favorite. Super duper cheesy mac and cheese.”
Artemis’s face glows red. “Mom, it was my favorite when I was a kid.”
Her mom dabs her nose. “And it still is.”
Artemis pulls back, rolling her eyes, but not hiding her giggle.
My eyes burn as I watch them. She’s…she still has her mom. Can still joke around with her, argue with her, spend as much time as she wants.
While I…
My hands fist at my sides. A few days after they died, I punched one of the walls in my aunt’s house.
It freaked her out so much she asked my grandmother to take me in.
I haven’t punched anything since then, don’t want to turn into that person.
Because once I go there, I may never return.
Mom and Dad wouldn’t want me to end up behind bars.
Her mom faces me. “So what do you say about dinner, Ryan?”
My throat still burns, but I swallow it down. “No, thanks.” I’m sure Grandma would be okay with it, but I don’t want to spend any more time with Artemis than I have to. Because the more she pulls me in, the harder it will be for me to break free.
We go to the study room, and she tells me to sit down wherever. It’s a room with a table in the center and a few chairs surrounding it.
She plops down. “Jenna and I used to do our arts and crafts projects in here. See this?” She lifts the tablecloth. The wood underneath is covered with scribbles and crayon marks. “Jenna thought she was so creative, but she sucks at art.” She laughs. “Not like you. You’re awesome.”
I don’t know why hearing her say that makes something shift inside me. But I shut it down before I let myself really feel it. “Maybe we should start on the project.”
Five minutes in, we’re interrupted by her dad, who enters the room to look for something.
He rubs his chin. “That’s weird. I was so sure it was in here.”
“Dad,” Artemis groans.
He gives her an innocent smile before slipping out.
She covers her face. “Oh my gosh.”
“What?”
She drops her hands with a huff. “Now you know why I don’t have a boyfriend.”
I just stare at her.
She rolls her eyes. “He chases guys away.”
“Why?”
“Because he thinks I’m this delicate little flower and he’s worried I’ll get hurt? Your guess is as good as mine. I mean, most girls have had a few boyfriends by now. But me? None. All because my dad plays police over me.” She huffs again.
We’re quiet as we work on the project, only uttering things here and there when we need to.
Her dad enters a few more times, pretending to be searching for different things. He even asks me if I’ve changed my mind about dinner, and I once again decline.
“One sec,” Artemis says before getting to her feet and leaving the room.
I bend my head forward, tearing my fingers through my hair. Her dad might be a little overprotective, but she’s lucky she still has one. I’d give anything, anything, to see my dad and mom one more time.
We never got a chance to say goodbye. Everything happened so quickly. Would they forgive me for not trying harder to save them?